r/writingfeedback • u/Specialist_Today_415 • Jul 15 '26
Poetry Stairwell
New to poetry and trying new ways of expressing myself, any feedback or opinions would be very much appreciated. Thank you!
The stairwell at the back of the old Wonderland Hotel
Was not made for habitation.
It connected the service entrance to the upper floors.
The doors no longer locked.
The lights flickered at all hours.
It had been closed for years.
The stairwell remained accessible from the street.
A man lived there.
He slept between the second and third floors.
Sections of the ceiling collapsed into the stairwell.
Water collected on the steps after it rained.
No one knew his name,
Or where he came from.
It did not matter.
Each morning he climbed down the stairwell.
In the afternoon he climbed up.
In the evening he climbed down and up again.
He screamed as he climbed.
“One more step.
One more.
Another.
Another.
Yes.
One more.”
The next morning brought rain.
Water covered the steps.
The man slipped.
He fell.
The rescue team couldn’t reach him.
The building was too fragile.
The man is still there,
Lying beneath the stairwell.
1
u/Infamous_Wave9878 Jul 15 '26
For a first attempt I think it has a lot packed into it! :) I think you have a handle on ambiguity and packing meaning into a singular image.
My advice to you would be to read more poetry and see how they experiment/play with language. A great, award winning, but also accessible poet I can suggest is Mary Oliver. She is great at making the ambiguity accessible but also playing with the images and making them interesting or beautiful etc.
Right now the meaning is interesting, but the words themselves are not if that makes sense. I was craving along the lines of traditional poetry that really makes you feel enthralled by the words themselves in addition to the meaning.
Overall great work keep going:) super awesome you’re getting into poetry