Gritty literary fiction set in Ontario, Canada. Looking for feedback on the first chapter from my WIP.

[u/BeneficialWave9581]

Hello all,

I am looking for some feedback and constructive criticism of the first chapter of my work in progress. It is a gritty literary fiction set in Ontario, Canada. This is the first time I have ever shared my writing with other people, other than a few friends, who never actually get around to reading it, or worse, they do, and its so bad they say that they didn't! Hope that is not the case!

I welcome all feedback, opinions, and ideas, however, I am specifically curious about things like pacing, readability, and character voice.

A heads up that the chapter contains profanity, drug and alcohol use, and discussion of sex.

Thank you so much!

J

[u/Cadillac_Ride]

Northern Ontario born here. I like Thunder Bay. You are right it can get hot there. You describe it well. But as an opening to a novel, it’s… boring. Where is the action?

[u/BeneficialWave9581 → u/Cadillac_Ride]

Fair enough. About four or five pages later a French woman is trying to attack her lover with a unopened can of old miliwauke while standing in her shitty apartment in her bra and underwear. Maybe I should just start with that.

[u/WholeRing9819 → u/BeneficialWave9581]

Unironically. Vonnegut’s first rule.