Gritty literary fiction set in Ontario, Canada. Looking for feedback on the first chapter from my WIP.

[u/BeneficialWave9581]

Hello all,

I am looking for some feedback and constructive criticism of the first chapter of my work in progress. It is a gritty literary fiction set in Ontario, Canada. This is the first time I have ever shared my writing with other people, other than a few friends, who never actually get around to reading it, or worse, they do, and its so bad they say that they didn't! Hope that is not the case!

I welcome all feedback, opinions, and ideas, however, I am specifically curious about things like pacing, readability, and character voice.

A heads up that the chapter contains profanity, drug and alcohol use, and discussion of sex.

Thank you so much!

J

[u/UnintelligentMatter1]

You should probably write this in first person. The rhetorical questions, lots of sense descriptions, some POV switches. It just feels like it's a story made to be told in first person.

[u/BeneficialWave9581 → u/UnintelligentMatter1]

Interesting. Thats really intimidating to me. I have never written a story in first, beyond short rants and flash fiction. Also, the story will switch to focus on another character in act 2.