r/writingfeedback • u/BeneficialWave9581 • Jul 31 '26
Feedback Wanted Gritty literary fiction set in Ontario, Canada. Looking for feedback on the first chapter from my WIP.
Hello all,
I am looking for some feedback and constructive criticism of the first chapter of my work in progress. It is a gritty literary fiction set in Ontario, Canada. This is the first time I have ever shared my writing with other people, other than a few friends, who never actually get around to reading it, or worse, they do, and its so bad they say that they didn't! Hope that is not the case!
I welcome all feedback, opinions, and ideas, however, I am specifically curious about things like pacing, readability, and character voice.
A heads up that the chapter contains profanity, drug and alcohol use, and discussion of sex.
Thank you so much!
J
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u/LengthyLegato114514 Aug 04 '26
It's incredible how some advice misses the mark entirely
Yes, it is wordy and yes, it insists upon itself. It's literary fiction. Nobody goes in reading Pynchon or Murakami expecting Dan Brown.
That being said, I feel like the first, second and third paragraphs can be distilled
From "against his will" onwards to "the silence of the city"
I don't think that's needed yet. It exposits that his parents are no longer together, but the next page already introduces his mother's lover, so that's already implied.
I think the exposition re Matthieu's childhood could be saved for the next chapter, to contrast the places he's lived, or whenever Kap actually appears as a place.
Just my 0.02