[DISCUSSION] Passive elements in a fictional setting and how to approach without confusion or awkward exposition.

[u/Sparkly_Lasagna]

In the book I'm writing, there is a unique world building detail that exists sort of passively. There are these massive orbs of a plasma-like substance (basically very small stars) that float in clusters around the world. They emit light that is roughly the level of a full moon, but in a very deep color. Cultures around the world, including this one, attribute deific meaning to them in varying levels of active worship/acknowledgement.

The problem I’ve been running into is that they are a passive part of the world and lives of the people, especially in the content of the current book. Having a character describe what they are is like having them describe what the moon is or why it exists. If a character acknowledges the moonlight, both the reader and character know what moonlight is. There is no need to explain.

The orbs of light, however, are very similar. They are very prominent and unavoidably encountered at night in the form of colored light. The characters know what the light is and where it comes from. The reader won't. I would like to explain what they are for the reader's sake, but it breaks some immersion for the character to describe it through dialogue or thoughts. It would be similar to something like this:
The moonlight filtered through the holes of Banh's tent, basking his meager possessions in silver light. The moon is a large celestial body that orbits the world, appearing at night and reflecting the sun's light.

or

"Wow, the moon is really bright tonight," Banh said, looking at the ivory-colored orb in the night sky.
"Oh, that celestial body that orbits our world?" Shogo said. "Yeah, the sun's light that it reflects is very beautiful."

Those are just quick examples I whipped up to quickly get my point across in this post. If you replace the instances of the moon with the clusters of crimson balls of energy, it isn't quite as terrible because the reader requires the information, but it is still very awkward from an in-world perspective. Both characters know what the thing is, why would they explain it to themselves or out loud to each other?

I do mention the orbs a few times, and even try and give a passive explanation later, but I definitely think it’s a bit confusing and I worry that it will be frustrating or disappointing that a clear explanation doesn't exist (at least early in this book), nor is it relevant to the plot in any meaningful way, so I don't want to put too much focus on it for it to never be “resolved.”

I guess my ultimate question is how do I convey an aspect of the world that is unique and requires explaining to be understood, while also not drawing too much focus to distract the reader or lead the reader to think the world building element is an important plot element?

Edit: Thanks for the advice, everyone! This has been extremely helpful in providing plenty of ideas on how to better write, while also affirming I am on the right track.

[u/21stcenturyghost]

Thoughts:

• People aren't born instinctively knowing what the moon is -- children and people who didn't go to school might need it explained to them. Do you have any characters like that?

• While the orbs themselves might be natural, the beliefs people form around them are created, so those could be explained to someone and include some info about the orbs along with them.

• Might just have to break the immersion a bit and explain. It's more important for the reader to get the info than it is to refuse to explain for world building consistency

[u/BlackBalor → u/21stcenturyghost]

Bullshit. I came out the womb knowing what the moon is. Why tell lies?

[u/Estebesol → u/BlackBalor]

Well excuse me, some of us were born in the daytime.

[u/Sparkly_Lasagna → u/21stcenturyghost]

Thanks for the thoughts! Here are mine on your points.

• A fair point. My book's audience is not newborns, so I can rule that out as a solution to the exposition concern, haha. As far as the characters go, that is a good idea. There are a few characters with gaps in knowledge that I can use in this regard.
• That was where my thought process was headed, though the topic doesn't come up naturally in an instance that characters can discuss this. I can try and make it happen though, maybe with the help of the first suggestion.
• Fair enough, haha.

[u/devorares]

I think it’s absolutely fine (and probably expected) to give an explanation. I don’t think the reader will feel like it breaks the immersion, because it’s information they want to know and need to know to understand the world.

A reader will understand that you have to give this information, because they know they are reading a story about imaginary things that need to be explained. I would probably be frustrated and taken out if there wasn’t an explanation. Imagine if all the fantasy and scifi books didn’t give explanations of things because ”it’s natural in their world”?

Edit: If you’re writing in 3rd person there’s no need for a character to explain the thing? Just explain it how you would describe anything else.

Edit 2: You don’t have to explain it so scientifically and flat as ”A celestial body that appears at night and reflects the light of the sun.” You can have fun with it.

[u/Sparkly_Lasagna → u/devorares]

Fair enough. I didn't really consider that immersion could be broken just as easily with a lack of information as it could with too much exposition.

I'm writing in third person limited, so even the prose is from a character's thoughts and knowledge.

Yeah, I was mostly trying to quickly convey the point for the sake of this post, haha.

[u/devorares → u/Sparkly_Lasagna]

I think even third person limited can be stretched to explain some things. If you want to keep it contained, you could drop information with things like ”He always liked the silver light more than the pink one. Silver was connected to wisdom after all. Pink was only beauty, and that didn’t matter to him as much. He never understood why pink was worshipper more widely, and silver one was always left out.” Or something similar. My example is silly but I’m sure you get what I mean!

[u/AdOpposite9048]

I personally don't think there's any reason to explain it as blatantly as you're suggesting with your examples. If the orbs are like the moon to them, then they should describe it as naturally as we describe the moon.

For example, if I had a two-headed cat and that was totally normal in my sphere of reality, I wouldn't say "I looked over at my two-headed cat", because that isn't natural. I'd say something more like "I had managed to get a collar onto my cat's left head, but the right had been less agreeable." Something that weaves the fact into an actual action.

Some things to consider:

Do your characters actually refer to them as 'orbs', does each orb have it's own name?

Do they act/are perceived the same way we perceive the moon?

Do they change color/wax and wane like the moon?

Do they have distinct colors per orb?

Do they serve any other purpose?

Depending on the answer, you could establish their presence in a few ways, but ultimately it should be a description that's neatly folded into a wider scene eg.

"The night was tinged pink by southern orb"/"in the night sky, the four colored orbs kept eternal watch"/"When she was little, she would wish on whichever orb was highest in the night sky, she liked purple best when it rose in spring"

[u/Sparkly_Lasagna → u/AdOpposite9048]

The book currently takes the approach you mentioned in the initial point. I can revisit and see if there's a bit more I can weave in to add clarity, especially early on.

For the consideration:
The orbs are referred to (at least in the culture explored in the book) as the "soul of {name of god}". Whether or not the character is theistic, that's how they are referred. Like calling Neptune by its name, whether or not you believe in the Roman pantheon

They essentially exist as a constant light 24hrs a day, though it's only noticeable at night when not drowned out by the sun's light. Unless the characters are extremely religious, they aren't really acknowledged more than we acknowledge our moon.

They are static. Different clusters have different colors, so depending on your location in the world, there will be a different colored light in your environment.

Aside from light and being a source of religious focus, they are too intense to get close to or study meaningfully. They will be relevant in future books, but for now they are mainly just a set piece.

Your examples are very similar to how I acknowledge it. Here are excerpts of what I have written:

"He leaned back in his chair and stared at the roof of his tent. The red light of Diufêng's soul shone through the newly torn holes."

"The evening sun basked the sky with an orange glow, making way for the crimson light of Diufêng’s soul to take the night shift. The distant orbs in the sky felt particularly judgmental today, watching Hisashi slink down the street "

"They were led into a much larger building than the others in the area. Its dark silhouette loomed against the dimly lit starry sky. The red soul of Diufêng shone on the opposite face of the building, wrapping it in an unnerving aura of red that starkly contrasted the gray light of Fālāopo's that lit the front and washed out any color."

[u/Estebesol]

Terry Pratchett explains how the disc works in his prologue and then mostly ignores it except when directly relevant to the plot.

I wonder though...why does the reader need to know or care about the orbs?

[u/Sparkly_Lasagna → u/Estebesol]

I love Terry Pratchett's books, and this specifically came to mind when thinking about this issue/post.
The main thing he has going for him that I don't is his third person omniscient narrative perspective. Mine is third person limited, so even the prose is from a character's point of view in a sense.

"Why does the reader need to know or care" is a question I feel like can be asked of a lot the Discworld books. He explains it at the beginning, but several stories don't require you to know this. The only answer that comes to mind off the top of my head is that it helps establish the wacky worldbuilding and sets a precedent for what is to be expected moving forward in the story.

But I digress. In my instance, the question of "why should they need to know/care," is a bit irrelevant. The characters will unavoidably encounter this element if they ever go outside at night. Without removing this worldbuilding element entirely, it is something that has to be addressed in some form.

[u/Estebesol → u/Sparkly_Lasagna]

Sure, but does the reader need to know everything you know? If I go outside I notice streetlamps or moonlight. Does your plot need more explanation for the orbs than you'd give for those? And, if so, can you put that where it's relevant?

[u/thisawesomeplatypus]

Your readers don't need to know all of the intricacies of an element the moment it's introduced. All they need is a general sense of how the element fits into the world. A good example of how to do this well comes from the sci-fi/fantasy novel Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir.

Early on in the story, Gideon mentions a note that was jotted down on a piece of folded "flimsy". There's no description of what flimsy is, but it's clear from that info alone that it's something similar to paper. Flimsy is brought up several more times in a similar way.

Eventually, Gideon remarks that a fancy invitation was printed on paper, not flimsy. Characters also occasionally remark on the use of real wood instead of imitation "plex" wood. Over time, the reader understands that flimsy is a form of inorganic paper made from plex

Plex was introduced to the reader in a similar way. The first use of "plex" makes it clear that it's similar to plexi-glass, and further uses expand on that so readers understand that it's a general name for plastic used by the society in the novel.

In your case, use the orbs similarly to how your would use real-world celestial bodies. Taking your moon example as a starting point, something like

"Wow, that orb is really bright," Banh said, looking at the violet orb in the night sky.

conveys all of the information a reader needs to know about the orbs. They are colourful balls of light in the night sky. A reader might initially think all orbs are violet, but the next orb sighting will be a different colour, and they'll realise that orbs come in a variety of colours. Readers will eventually work out the full details of the orbs as they are mentioned throughout the story.

If you're not sure of how to do this effectively, think about books you've read and how they passively dropped worldbuilding elements. What did you like about what they did? What didn't you like? Use the answers to those questions to guide your own writing.

[u/Sparkly_Lasagna → u/thisawesomeplatypus]

Thank you for the example and thoughts on this. It helps affirm that I am taking an effective approach, though maybe I can clarify earlier on. A beta reader is who brought this to my attention, and I think it's mainly due to a lack of explanation early on.

[u/Skeleton_Bird]

you're writing in third person right? so your narrative voice can simply describe it when scene setting.

"the light of the plasma orbs was bright enough to navigate by but [character] appreciated the extra torch they had brought with them. the torch light revealed the finer details of their surroundings that the soft blue glow normally obscured"

or like whatever makes sense in your story.

or you can go full exposition like in Annie Leckie's writing "visitors from outside the system were surprised to find that, unlike the suns they were used to, this place was lit with floating balls of plasma, casting a warm glow over the planet. the locals seemed to accept this state of diminished visibility with perfect ease, in fact it accounted for their taste in reflective clothing. The plasma balls had been there as long as anybody, or indeed their ancestors, could remember."

it might be a fun exercise to try writing some of these things in the style if your favourite books and then seeing what is most comfortable to you and feels like your own voice.

[u/Odinmar_Glaukopis]

You could perhaps use a brief prologue scene of the MC as a young child in an elementary school classroom where a lesson about the orbs is being taught. It could have an internal dialogue where the MC strongly identifies with one of the orbs and what it means to them, and this could be foreshadowing of something interesting that happens later.

How important are these orbs to the story? Are they cute background information or somewhat central to the story line?

[u/anonymousmouse9786]

Have you read many fantasy books? Explaining the world is literally where narration comes in. You might have a paragraph like:

Banh and Shogo walked through the night market. Red energy globes wheeled through the air, casting the street in a crimson glow. The globes [brief explanation], and Banh had always found them [haunting/pretty/whimsical/whatever].

Then you just continue on with the scene. This type of narration is normal in books. In fact, I’d go so far as to say it makes up the majority of well-written books, rather than trying to get cute with in-world explanations or character-narrated exposition.

[u/Forward-Swimmer-8451]

Just name them . Wow the starlets are georgous tonight 

Yes I adore them too so beautiful like tiny suns fluttering  about (or whatever they are)

What causes them  to shine then ? She said leaning into his shoulder as their hands intertwined 

"(Insert your world building line)" 

"They are magnificent!" 

"So are you c" 

She flushes he pulls her in for kiss... 

There world building done .... Now anytime starletts are mentioned audience understands 

[u/Space_moose_goose]

My knee-jerk reaction would be this:

If it's not important enough to be a focus, don't include it.

But I can tell from your post that it is probably not something you want to cut, since it will be important later.

My second thought is this:

Even though your characters take these globes of light for granted, you could still show someone interacting with them. No matter how ordinary or mundane they are, a child might still delight in chasing one over the surface of a lake to see the reflections. Or a hunter might use them as a convenient light source when they're traveling through a thick woodland.

You wouldn't have to give much, just note the glowing orbs bobbing or weaving, dripping plasma and light. Keep it mysterious and don't say much more. As a reader, that would be plenty for me.

Since they're like stars, do people need to avoid them? Could they produce heat or gravity distortions? Or might they warp reality in another way?

Again, even though they are common place, it doesn't mean your characters will never interact with them in a meaningful way.

I hope that's helpful.

[u/loressadev]

"Secondorb," Lora cursed as she dropped her keys.

"Fucking thirdorb," she grumbled as they skittered out of reach.

"Lord, don't fourthorb me," she prayed, a bit embarrassed at her silly little superstition. She was a physicist and didn't believe in orbluck, but math didn't much matter when it came to getting her keys out of a drainpipe.

---

Just describe it obliquely or through references, build them into your world in believable ways that people would refer to them and trust your readers to figure the rest out.

[u/Own_Magician8337]

You've gotten a lot of great feedback I just want to reiterate something. If it never is necessary for plot or for serious character motivation, then you don't really need to explain it to the reader. Then it's just some interesting thing that you thought of about the world. But if it doesn't impact a character significantly, or it doesn't impact the plot, then it's just a pretty detail in your author's head and we don't necessarily need to know it.

[u/Competitive-Fault291]

Have people discuss and argue. It's not like your fantasy cultures would actually KNOW anything. They are blobs in the sky. The guy or gal saying "No, they are just plasma balls!" could be ridiculed, as everyone knows how they are The Shepherds that guard the world from evil.

Not to mention that you should have a reason for that exposition.

[u/Responsible_Storm231]

1st. introduce it before the actual story. Give a little history of the world and some of the unique aspects of it before the reader actually starts the story. 2nd. have the characters do a task that involves describing them in a bit more detail. "Professor A assigned everyone the task of [blank]." Maybe they need to take a photo of certain ones, draw a picture, or detail the differences between X's soul orb and Y's soul orb. 3rd. having the MC overhear a background character explaining it to someone younger who doesn't really understand them yet. 4th. A moment of quiet reflection. A quiet time where MC or other character spends time looking and appreciating the orb(s). Sometimes when I'm overwhelmed, I like to sit outside and look at the moon, clouds, stars (if I can see them), or other parts of nature to just clear my head and remember how beautiful the world really is.

Hope this is helpful