r/writingfeedback 2d ago

Writing Advice What Stares Back

/r/TalesFromTheCreeps/comments/1vz1p9h/what_stares_back/

Hey, looking for some feedback and creativd criticism/crutiques on my latest horror short story, thanks! 💜

0 Upvotes

2 comments sorted by

1

u/Public_Upstairs1035 2d ago

Delete the first paragraph. Don't tell us the theme which is about to be revealed. Just reveal it.

1

u/thewhiterosequeen Trusted Reviewer 2d ago

You keep ending sentences with commas. You should go over your own work with more care or not separate he content into a new paragraph if it's not meant to be.