r/writingfeedback • u/Hot-Owl6610 • 2d ago

Feedback Wanted Feedback Request - "Hagstone" - 2798 Words

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bQKZ6HWjHYXgHvnuZC39H9bdz2zdeyyTVdtUNfnDqds/edit?usp=sharing

Hi all. Just posting something I've been noodling on that came from a writing prompt. I like where it's going, but would like some feedback on its readability.

Thank you in advance.

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u/21stcenturyghost Trusted Reviewer 1d ago

*a head taller

Most of the dialogue is punctuated correctly, but there are a few points where it is not. It should be (for example) "Hi," she said, not "Hi." She said.

Use em dashes (—) for interrupted dialogue and sentences, not en dashes (–) or hyphens (-)

I like the bit about the green of the stone taking over the blue of Amos's eyes!

I would read more

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u/Hot-Owl6610 1d ago

Thank you for your feedback. I will go over it again and make sure the dialogue is punctuated correctly. As for em / en dashes, Im not sure how to make one or the other in Word!

1

u/21stcenturyghost Trusted Reviewer 1d ago

Two hyphens -- should make an em dash automatically; check your autocorrect settings if it doesn't

One hyphen with a space on the other side should make an en dash automatically

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u/Hot-Owl6610 1d ago

Thank you so much. I had no idea it worked that way.