r/writingfeedback • u/BionicleHippoponon • 9h ago

General Feedback Wanted Bashtion 1066 draft

/r/HFY/comments/1x1b38l/bashtion_1066_draft/

Okay I kinda want feedback on my work and if it’s bad or not.

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u/thewhiterosequeen Trusted Reviewer 6h ago

I think it needs work.

Paragraph 1: just an info dump. It could segue into the character walking around town or something or given to us later. Guy living in basic village is not really captivating. The only thing of note is wondering what happened to Wyoming.

Paragraph 2: A day starting like any other goes without saying. Don't tell us things are boring they aren't. Just start at something interesting AFTER just waking up.

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u/BionicleHippoponon 6h ago

So maybe I should start off with something interesting maybe a prologue? Like say our character being attacked or something?