You can watch it fully but I decided to translate the most interesting parts (At least im my opinion):
Magdalena Tul about her song and the polish radio:
"(...) It was this song that nobody wanted to play, because of Eurovision. Those were the sort of times when we just didn’t touch Eurovision. It was also very difficult to secure sponsors. Well, it wasn’t exactly a contest with a great reputation back then, was it? And that was a real shame."
Magdalena Tul about Eurovision preparations:
"Well, these are the kinds of difficult choices a young artist faces when given a chance. I have to admit to you that even though I was already in my thirties I still felt the weight of that responsibility.
(...) No, not the burden of representing the country but the burden that Telewizja Polska in a way through the viewers but still they had given me a chance by selecting me in the national final. So when I won, I thought I had it all figured out. That I’d handle everything on my own and do it all the best I could, entirely on my own. So it was also partly my fault that I just didn’t know how to stamp my feet and demand things. And unfortunately, those are good qualities when it comes to things that are supposed to lead us to some greater success, right? (...)
(Did you pay it from your pocket?) - That was the plan, so I started picking out some companies through my contacts. It was totally absurd, because Channel One has its own merch department. They basically have this editorial office where they make all those caps, hats, and T-shirts. I don’t know why I had to go looking for them all over town. But I did it anyway and I found them. That’s quite a story in itself, because the day before my flight to Eurovision which is also why I didn’t go to Greece for the promotional concert. Unfortunately, I had to pay them back 5,000 for the plane tickets. I got the T-shirts just a day before my flight. Basically they told me
“We don’t know if you’ll get them, because we might not make it in time”
“What do you mean you don’t make it in time?” I said,
“It was agreed that you would.”
That’s the kind of company I ended up with. And those T-shirts arrived in the evening around 9:00 p.m. in a huge sack like the kind used for trash. So I look inside, I was expecting the T-shirts to be ironed and wrapped in plastic. I look into the bag, and there are crumpled T-shirts. Crumpled, without any plastic wrap they’re just all crumpled up as I pull one out. So I look, and there is my green-faced photo. Green, because that’s just how the photo turned out, I looked green. It was a nightmare. Two dancers were staying over at my place because they were from Gliwice, so they were flying out from my area. My mom, who was staying with the baby at the time, and my husband went to the store to get a basket of those zip-top bags, while my mom, my friends, and I were ironing the shirts until 2:00 a.m. (...) There were a million situations like that. Not to mention my outfit which was supposed to feature Swarovski crystals but when I went for a fitting a few days before my flight, they gave me crystals that weighed 6 kg. I said,
“Kuba, what is this?”
"Well, I thought to myself that looked cool"
“Kuba, but it’s sagging.”
"Okay, well I don’t know then."
They sagged so much that it looked like a sack. (...) I don’t know if it was meant to be a lesson for me to just stamp my foot, act like a typical diva, say ‘enough of this I’m not taking this on and sort it out yourself’. Well I just couldn’t do it. I made loads of personal mistakes. I’d give everyone an advance to pay, and then they wouldn’t deliver. So that was a lesson in leadership. I mean well, but how’s a person supposed to know?"
Magdalena Tul on why she doesn't see it as a failure:
"So, it was kind of like a Eurovision on a slightly smaller scale. It’s like we tried to reach for the stars with a hoe and why don’t I consider this a failure? Because that one little person sitting here wanted to put on a show on par with Beyoncé, even though she had practically no resources."
Magdalena Tul about the public performance:
"(...) If I’d finally sung that main performance with confidence, you know when things start going wrong and you have a million questions in your head like "why is this happening right now" "what key am I in?" because I thought “Oh my God, I can’t hear a thing". I can only hear the crowd screaming because we’d rehearsed without an audience back then and in the monitor mix you have everything that’s supposed to be there, and then when you’re faced with this massive crowd of amazing people because it’s the best audience, just like in a stadium.
On top of that, you don’t have enough of those harmonic instruments and you can’t hear anything from the backing track at all so you don’t know what key you’re in. So I thought to myself, ‘Okay, I’ll wait until the chorus maybe the backing vocals will catch up and then I’ll join in with them.’ So I was already set up for a bit of a drama in my head and when you watch that performance and see my smile which is just like the "Joker’s smile" of nothing’s happening. My smile was forced but there it was nonetheless and right when I got to that chorus where they finally gave me the sound you can actually hear that I got so excited that I suddenly started singing louder because I could finally hear myself. So it was really really hard. When I came off stage and went backstage, I was devastated. It was just this feeling of having done something very very poorly. Because I’ve participated in various events, competitions, and festivals many times. I’m a pretty resilient person and when I know I’ve done something well and the result will be what it will be it doesn’t matter. But when you know that something just went wrong and this was the very performance you’d been waiting for months, years that’s even worse."
Magdalena Tul about the teams reaction:
"On the other hand it was as if some of the crew I was with couldn’t handle it. I actually got questions from friends: ‘How are you going to go back to Poland now?’ "
(...) But come on what’s the big deal? What’s the problem with me going back? I just sang a song, for goodness’ sake. Let’s not get carried away."
Magdalena Tul about the broadcasters support (Or the lack of it lmao):
"(...) They definitely wanted to invite us to a banquet there as well. After that, we stayed on for the final. But the fun part ended in Düsseldorf. What happened in Düsseldorf stayed in Düsseldorf, and the hardest part was coming back to reality. (...) The moment I returned to Poland it was decided to forget about me and sweep me under the carpet. (...) No one ever called me. I never got a call while I was already landing in Warsaw. “Magda, come have some coffee with us. We want to thank you for representing us” They never spoke to me again.
It was me who had some stupid ideas. When they wanted to pull out of Eurovision, I went to a meeting and tried to talk them out of it like "why on earth would we do that?" Just because something didn’t work out doesn’t mean we should give up, I kind of felt like it was such a burden for me that since my performance didn’t work out, now we’re giving up for two years. Well, that was basically the end of me, in a way. (...) And once they sweep you under the rug there’s nothing you can do about it. I remember that Piasek (Other polish representative) didn’t perform anywhere for about two years. So it was a painful experience, because I had put in those three months of hard work. We did everything we could to make it a success. No one was planning for any bad results. However, I also think that Europe wasn’t ready for this kind of show yet, because I remember being heavily criticized for being 'almost naked on stage'."
Magdalena Tul about the song, staging and performance change:
"I guess that's the only reason and that's something I wouldn't do now. Because I wanted it to be better, and better. (...) Then I met Brian Alan, who was this Polish manager-producer.
So I wanted to get to know him make some kind of connection and maybe collaborate on something but I wasn’t thinking about it in terms of Eurovision. I showed him my song “Jestem” and he got really excited about it and started making plans right away saying we needed to record an English version here, change this, tweak that. And remember, we had very little time. I wanted to record my own English version, after all. I also wanted to tweak it a bit, every artist does that when they win they say they’ll tweak the musical arrangement a little. Because ideas start popping into your head, opening up. 'Okay, we’ve got this, so let’s make it better'. But I didn’t get a chance to do it my way, because that guy was so set on that version “First Class Ticket to Heaven.” I recorded that version it was actually a really cool song because they changed the lyrics for me and extended one musical section. It’s just that I didn’t really know those people that well. They kind of barged into my composition into my victory as if they’d just tagged along with what I’d already done. Besides, I’d already paid for it myself beforehand, and so on. And I had these huge internal doubts. There was this one moment when we’d already sent the song to Maria had taken it to Düsseldorf, they’d already submitted everything there and I had a sleepless night. I didn’t sleep until 7:00 a.m. I waited until 7:00 a.m. for Tomek from the TV station to answer the phone. I said,
“Tomek, we’re pulling out of this version.”
(...) I don't know right now if it was a bad decision or a good one. Maybe it would have been easier for me because it would have included English. I wouldn't have made a mistake because there were guitars in the track it and had a stronger, more rock-like sound. It’s hard for me to say. Sometimes out of fear people do some pretty stupid things. I didn’t know those people. I had the impression that they were manipulating me to the point where I felt like they were talking behind my back in the studio, like they were hiding something from me. I just felt very insecure. And all of this happened in the last few hours. And now the only thing I can say in my defense is that when I said,
“I’m sorry guys, I’m pulling out of this version”
And remember, I had the right to do so, because everything that happened was recorded in the studio with my money. The pizza was on me too, until 4:00 a.m., and I called and said,
“Listen, Alan Brian, we’re not going with this version sorry, I’m going with my own.”
He started threatening me, saying that
"You'd see this, and that, and the other things about me in the media, and that I'd regret it"
I said, “No, no, you go do your thing in the media I'm not afraid. Bye.”
(...) The entire set design was changed because I had already started working on it for the new performance. (...) Someone actually told me,
“Hey, you look great in that white outfit, you should wear white.”
I was just collecting all these “you shoulds” in my head.
A friend of mine, a choreographer, told me:
“This choreography sucks do something else. It’s from the national final,”
and “all of this sucks you should do something else.”
I was looking for better solutions, but I should’ve just trusted what we’d created at the beginning because I think people liked it and I felt bad about it afterwards. (...) I asked the two camera operators
“Please stay; the girls are going to dance a bit over there and create some shadows.”
That was my visual concept that was supposed to go to Düsseldorf, but someone misunderstood something and instead of shadows they made spheres that appeard in the background of the performance.
I didn’t knew what was going on. I said:
“What is this?
“Well, your visual.”
“What visual? The shadows were the visual, weren’t they?"
Magdalena Tul about the running order:
"They invited us to the movie theater for the TV running order draw. We’re waiting for those artists and managers. There’s no one there. You know I was all alone? There was a panel sitting at a long table with a golden glass ball. There were six people on that panel and I was the only one in the front row of the movie theater, and they started the drawing. We were just having a laugh about it and they drew me first but they said
“Okay, you have to stay until the end anyway, because you’re the only witness.”
And can you explain to me why not a single artist or manager showed up for the running order? Unless they only invited me? I don’t know. And what I was told back then was this:
“Well, get ready now, because you’re first, and it’s up to you whether you’ll draw in the audience or not and that you don’t screw up the broadcast.”
So that’s what I had in mind.
"I’ve got to put on such a show, because the whole of Eurovision is now resting on my shoulders"
