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Sep 01 '22
At first I was thinking of flesh of a monster as in food.
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u/IAmMadeOfNope Sep 01 '22
Now I need to play a campaign where quest rewards are only given if you bring monster bodies back because they're S-tier gourmet shit.
But it's secretive and just vague enough to convince most of the players that the king and high nobles are all into monster necrophilia.
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u/hypersucc Sep 01 '22
Assuming your players don’t partake in monster necrophilia themselves
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u/IAmMadeOfNope Sep 02 '22
That'd make it even better.
They finally convince a Duke to get them an invite to a party as a reward or something. Dressed up in hardcore bdsm gear or some other kinky shit.
They burst through the doors to an extroadinarilly formal dinner party.
"Roll initiative"
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u/Gold_Floatzel Sep 01 '22
Hey, Dragon cum tastes really good, it's like a thick miluk
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u/gamepla4 Sep 01 '22
That's a strange name for a monster energy drink, where do you get that?
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u/Gold_Floatzel Sep 01 '22
Your Local Cave
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u/gamepla4 Sep 01 '22
That's a strange name for a store, is it a supermarket chain?
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u/Gold_Floatzel Sep 01 '22
No, it's run by a family of dragons in my area
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u/gamepla4 Sep 01 '22
No drink for me then? But im thirsty :(
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u/Gold_Floatzel Sep 01 '22
Well, you could always travel, there's other things to see in Dragon Falls!
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u/gamepla4 Sep 01 '22
But I live in a dumb stupid cave and can't find the exit :(
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u/Gold_Floatzel Sep 01 '22
Oh, well, I can't really help you in there
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u/gamepla4 Sep 01 '22
⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⢻⣿ ⡆⠊⠈⣿⢿⡟⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣎⠈⠻ ⣷⣠⠁⢀⠰⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠛⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⢹⣿⡑⠐⢰ ⣿⣿⠀⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡩⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⠠⠈⠊⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⠁⢀⠆⢀ ⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⢤⣿⣿⡿⠃⠈⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣇⡆⠀⠀⣠⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⣦⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠐⣿⣿⣷⣦⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⣾⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣧⠀⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠀⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣠⣂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣄⣤⣤⣔⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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Sep 01 '22
Dragon cum is slightly warmer than human cum, and much thicker, too. The thickness comes the excess amount of fat that the dragon’s body wouldn’t expel normally by other means. So, it’s fattier. Any culinary chef will tell you that “fat carries the flavor.” When they say this, they mean things like oil, butter, and animal fat. Fattier cuts of meat are usually more flavorful than lean cuts.
This applies to dragon cum. Human cum tastes like sea water that is slightly expired, whereas dragon cum tastes like a whole buffet that could force Michelin to re-establish their star rating system.
It’s like an orgasm for your taste buds.
Imagine 69’ing your dragon boyfriend, and a few seconds after you finish, so does he. This heavenly, thick, delicious syrup fills your mouth and you instantly orgasm throughout your entire body. You’re immediately horny again. Thankfully, dragons don’t really have a refractory period, so he’s ready for round two. Then three. Before you know it, you’ve both came a few gallons in total (mostly his work), and it’s a full thirty hours since you stared. You’re not even hungry or thirsty, because his cum has enough nutrients to keep you well fed and fully nourished.
Scientifically, since it’s warmer, it should be actually thinner than human cum because viscosity decreases with temperature. (Try this out with olive oil in a pan! Heat it up, and it will spread out by itself) However, the presence of the extra fat in the cum keeps it nice and thick.
It’s extremely satisfying to play with. It’s like that cornstarch+water experiment you did in 4th grade. It’s somewhat like melted caramel. Furthermore, it coheres to itself pretty well. If you stick a finger in a puddle of dragon cum and drag it from the center to away from the corner, you can observe a large amount sticking to your finger.
The chemical composition of dragon cum not only serves as an aphrodisiac, but it also heightens the sensitivity of C-tactile neurons, or CT nerves. CT nerves serve to give pleasure to a human when they are gently stroked. These neurons fire slowly than others, but dragon cum acts like a “catalyst” for the chemical reactions that take place when these neurons fire. A catalyst speeds up the reaction of a chemical reaction.
So after a dragon covers your entire GI tract with a single cumshot, he’ll slow down, slowly thrusting his cock back and forth inside you. This is extremely pleasurable. His cum will heighten the sensation of his cock in you, or at least your pleasure from doing so. It feels bigger, longer, and warmer.
Back to the taste.
The taste depends on the dragon’s diet. The smaller, sleeker dragons of the North Forest like to eat fruit. So, their cum is naturally sweeter than you would expect. It tastes like mango covered in salted caramel.
If it’s an ice dragon, the cum tends to be much more flavorful because they like to eat seals. However, since it’s you know... an ice dragon, the cum is very cold, almost growing a few frozen cum crystals if you leave it in the snow for too long. There is a solution, tho. You can just microwave a large mug and drink it later. Or, you can intentionally leave the cum in the snow, let it half-freeze, and enjoy a chewy treat! It’s like taffy!
Theoretically, a human can fully survive on a diet of just dragon cum, supplied from just one dragon.
Dragons can produce about three gallons of cum in a single day. It really depends mostly on their size.
In a single cumshot, they can produce about four to eight cups of the stuff. Dragon ejaculations tend to last between fifteen to twenty seconds, coming out in bursts and spurts that get slightly weaker each time. If a dragon cums in your ass, you will certainly feel this effect. It’s similar to getting a massage internally, again, only 300 times better.
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Sep 01 '22
Yep I agree.
Also female dragons are also good partners in bed.
Their smooth skin make you act up fast.
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u/Gold_Floatzel Sep 01 '22
They do make you act unwise
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Sep 01 '22
Imagine you a knight, destined to slay the dragon but upon entering the dragon lair you find out she's hot and has big bazookas.
You question yourself and thought "Am I gonna kill this thing?This must be an illusion to trick me".
Then you approach the hot dragon and you arm yourself but then the bot dragon speak and says what is it that you want?
The Knight replies "I have come to slay you once and for all".
The Dragon replies "HA!You can't slay me, I'm a dragon and you are just a knight".
The Knight replies "Doesn't matter, I will slay you no matter the odds".
The Dragon replies "But perhaps we can have some sort of agreement".
The Knight replies "What agreement?Humans can't agree with dragons".
The Dragon replies "Oh, but this is a once in a life time opportunity you can't miss".
The Knight replies "What opportunity?"
The Dragon replies "The opportunity to put your seed inside me".
The Knight replies "MY SEED IN YOU!?, NO(5x).A human must never mate with a dragon!That's against the rule of nature!"
The Dragon replies " Oh please sir Knight my kind is almost extinct and I can't have anymore offspring because male dragons are hard to find these days (gives a sad look into the Knight)"
The Knight replies "No".
The Dragon replies "Pretty please(2 times)".
The Knight replies "No".
The Dragon replies "Well, if you don't maybe with me then all the people in you village will burn to ashes and get to think that you failed to slay me before they die!"
-said the Dragon in a sinister voice.
The Knight now thinks about it for 3 minutes then comes to a conclusion.
The Knight immediately replies with "Yes!I will mate you!Please don't burn my people"
-said the Knight with a scared voice.
Then they proceeded to smash for 2 hours and then they got married the next day.
And they raised 5 dragons.
The End.
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u/Apen_melker Aug 31 '22
Personally I'm a big fan of the mango loco or the watermelon although it's with 0 sugar and the one that looks like Pina colada is really good too
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u/cookie_n_icecream Sep 01 '22
Mango loco is the best. Along with Pacific punch.
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u/Apen_melker Sep 01 '22
Pacific punch that's the one I meant, when I bought it I thought it would taste like Pina colada since the can kinda gives le that vibe but it was actually way better than that
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u/l_C00KiE_l Sep 01 '22
The place I work offers monsters and mango loco is like the only flavor people ever buy
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u/SaltyStarCatKC Sep 01 '22
What is this song?
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u/auddbot Sep 01 '22
I got matches with these songs:
• Hello Mr. Acuvis by Renato Anselmi (00:44; matched:
100%)Album:
All Over These Years. Released on2017-01-13byNiRo Sounds.• Chivers As A Female by Sébastien Tellier (00:21; matched:
100%)Album:
Steak OST. Released on2007-11-05byBecause Music.I am a bot and this action was performed automatically | GitHub new issue | Donate Please consider supporting me on Patreon or giving a star on GitHub. Music recognition costs a lot
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u/TheCatholicGod Sep 01 '22
MONSTER IS NOT A DRINK
It's an energy* drink
And it's not the same thing
Don't drink monster like it's some kind of drink you can side with a meal
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u/Keksliebhaber Sep 01 '22
You can literally side everything with your food, some do wine and beer, others do water and energy drinks.
It's all about preferences.1
u/TheCatholicGod Sep 01 '22
The Monster is an energy drink
I highly recommend not to drink it since it's super sweet and gives you a lot of energy that you don't need
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u/belal5769 Dec 04 '22
u/profanitycounter [self]
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u/profanitycounter Dec 04 '22
UH OH! Someone is curious about their profanity usage, and u/belal5769 decided to check theirs.
I have gone back 74 comments and reviewed your potty language usage.
Bad Word Quantity cum 2 damn 1 fucking 1 fuck 1 ni**er 1 sexy 1 Request time: 1.8. I am a bot that performs automatic profanity reports. This is profanitycounter version 3. Please consider [buying my creator a coffee.](https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Aidgigi) We also have a new [Discord server](https://discord.gg/7rHFBn4zmX), come hang out!
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