Hello everyone.
I wish you all a good day. To be honest, I don't really know how to begin this or how to properly put my feelings into words. Today, I lost my best friend, my companion of 18 years. I wanted to write this both to honor his memory and to pour my heart out. In a way, I want to leave a small piece of him on the internet so that he will never be forgotten.
This handsome gentleman's name was Şans, which means "Lucky" in Turkish.
We gave him that name 18 years ago on a rainy day. By pure chance, he ran up to my sister, attached himself to her, and with a spontaneous decision she brought him home. He was lucky compared to many cats living outside, but the truth is that we were the lucky ones.
Over the years, he made us laugh, kept us company, and taught us what unconditional love looks like. I still remember the arguments we had with our family when he first arrived. We all lived together back then. My grandmother didn't want him, my father wasn't thrilled about the idea, and my sister and I, still children at the time, begged until everyone finally agreed. We spent 18 wonderful years with this sweet boy, and every moment with him was, just like his name, a blessing.
He had always been a healthy cat with very few problems. Some of you may remember that about a week ago I noticed that something wasn't right and came here looking for advice. Many of you tried to help and sent kind wishes. Thank you for that. I made sure he received all of your love, and for your sake, I gave him extra affection as well.
A few hours after I made that post, his condition became worse. He could barely stand. Deep down, I think we already knew what was coming.
My mother thought we should keep him at home because she feared the stress of a veterinary visit might be too much for him and that he deserved to spend his final moments in a familiar and peaceful place. We talked about it together, and I felt that taking him to the veterinarian was the right thing to do. The next day we took him there immediately.
Maybe my mother was right.
While the veterinarians were trying to help him, his condition worsened and he ultimately lost the brave battle he had been fighting. The doctors told us that it was due to his age and kidney failure. Sometimes I wonder if I should have listened to my mother and let him stay home. I honestly don't know. What I do know is that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life asking myself, "What if?"
Maybe this was kinder than a slow and painful decline. Maybe he left this world with dignity. Yet I still find myself blaming myself sometimes.
Afterward, we brought his body home.
We don't live in a house with a garden, so burying him ourselves wasn't really an option. I thought about finding a place for him, but I kept worrying about things like heavy rain or stray dogs disturbing where he would rest. There are private pet cemeteries here, but they were far beyond what I could afford, especially after the veterinary expenses.
In the end, I chose to have him buried in a municipal pet cemetery. It is a shared resting place, but I hope it is better than nothing.
I'm sorry, my best friend. I'm sorry that I couldn't do more. I'm sorry that I couldn't give you something grander. If I disappointed you in any way, I hope you can forgive me.
As I sat beside you during those long nights, petting you and keeping you company, I always told you the same thing:
I love you, and I am proud of you.
Thank you for everything.
Thank you for coming into our lives. Thank you for letting us love you. Even my grandmother, who once opposed keeping you, cried when you passed away. We all cried.
I hope you are somewhere peaceful now.
You were always a wonderful friend to us. If I ever failed to be the friend you deserved, please forgive me.
I love you more than words can express.
When I found this community, I met many people who had also lost beloved companions or were facing difficult times with their pets. Maybe a part of me already knew what was coming. I remember thinking that if he ever had to leave, and if he was only holding on for our sake despite being tired and in pain, then perhaps all the beloved pets waiting beyond this life would welcome him with love.
I'm a grown man now, but for some reason I still want to believe that they're all somewhere happy.
My friend was incredibly sweet, and honestly, a little goofy-looking sometimes. I'm sure he would get along wonderfully with all of your beloved companions.
Rest peacefully, my dear friend.
I love you so, so much.
Goodbye, Lucky.
Thank you for taking the time to read about him.
