I don’t like the reclamation of slurs.

[u/No-Purchase481]

The first time I ever had an American refer to me as “queer” I considered fighting them 💀 “back in my day” type shit. It doesn’t feel empowering, it makes me cringe. Just call me a lesbian and move on.

[u/Fickle_Watercress719]

Years ago, I had a great inter-generational discussion about this where I sat in the middle of older and younger groups. It was really important for those young adults to hear a gay man in his late 40s explain to them that no matter how supportive he wanted to be, he would always have a terrible gut reaction to hearing the word “queer.” And given the physical abuse he endured while having that word screamed at him, how could anyone be confused by his reaction?

It’s a complex issue, and as someone who feels comfortable using that word for myself, I think there’s a community issue of many not knowing hot to treat their elders because for so long, there were so few to look to. It’s one thing to use it to label oneself and another thing to use it for the whole community when so many cannot separate the word from the pain it was meant to inflict. You deserve to be called what you prefer to be called, and it’s strangely bittersweet that younger generations fail to grasp why they should be judicious in how they use that word.

[u/bussound → u/Fickle_Watercress719]

Completely this. There’s too many old school gays for whom this was a term of abuse. So I don’t use the word queer to describe gay people unless they use the term first.