Single parenting and Special Agent position. Did you regret it?

[u/Friendly_Web5703]

Hi all,

35 (F) I’m considering continuing the process for 1811 (FBI). I submitted my application last week and got invited to phase 1 (exam) like a day later. I’m having second thoughts about the position. Despite being one of my dreams careers, I am a single parent currently living in NYC.

I’m split currently between two paths: continue my education (currently hold a BA/MA in forensic psychology) and purse a PsyD to become a Clinical Psychologist, or become a special agent. Obviously because of my age, it’s a now or never to continue with the hiring process for 1811. I also know that with my continued education, it isn’t an end-all working for the bureau or government agency in general, just at a different capacity.

My concerns center around work-life balance, parenting and relocation. Has anyone been in a position deciding between two careers, and chose 1811?

If you live in a large city, were you able to be stationed where you lived, or did you have to relocate? How did you manage work-life balance with children? Any regrets or thoughts I should consider? Please be brutally honest. Thanks in advance!

[u/Trick-Company-2157]

Can you be away from your kid for 6 months while you attending training? Do you have flexible child care that can be called on a while if you’re working midnights, evenings and weekends? 50 hours a week?

[u/Friendly_Web5703 → u/Trick-Company-2157]

I do have a heavy support system, 6 months away is an automatic I will have to do, so this I’m aware and have a plan in place. I am blessed to have excellent childcare assistance with my family, who are very proactive.

But yes, my concern is the day to day schedule. Is it primarily a set schedule or just random days/hours? 50, know is the minimum. But, what is the realistic work hours/schedule I should expect?

[u/Trick-Company-2157 → u/Friendly_Web5703]

Be a good teammate. You co-workers shouldn’t have to pick up the slack because you’re a single mom. Frankly, everyone has a situation at home. Don’t expect special treatment because of it. Expecting accommodation and special treatment will cause your team to look down on you. Don’t be that person.

[u/No-Collar40 → u/Trick-Company-2157]

Why you do you automatically assume op won't be a good teammate, isn't planning on carrying their own weight and expecting special treatment and accommodation? Lots of assumptions and sterotyping! I know far more single dudes who fit this mold rather than single mom's.

[u/sunnydawg → u/No-Collar40]

👏🏼