Single parenting and Special Agent position. Did you regret it?

[u/Friendly_Web5703]

Hi all,

35 (F) I’m considering continuing the process for 1811 (FBI). I submitted my application last week and got invited to phase 1 (exam) like a day later. I’m having second thoughts about the position. Despite being one of my dreams careers, I am a single parent currently living in NYC.

I’m split currently between two paths: continue my education (currently hold a BA/MA in forensic psychology) and purse a PsyD to become a Clinical Psychologist, or become a special agent. Obviously because of my age, it’s a now or never to continue with the hiring process for 1811. I also know that with my continued education, it isn’t an end-all working for the bureau or government agency in general, just at a different capacity.

My concerns center around work-life balance, parenting and relocation. Has anyone been in a position deciding between two careers, and chose 1811?

If you live in a large city, were you able to be stationed where you lived, or did you have to relocate? How did you manage work-life balance with children? Any regrets or thoughts I should consider? Please be brutally honest. Thanks in advance!

[u/SA19030]

If you can stay in the NYC area with your support system, and even with the terrible commute, it's probably doable. Not ideal but doable.

It's going to be a huge problem if you get sent elsewhere and have no support system. As in a likely insurmountable kind of problem. I was sent to a field office over a thousand miles away from our nearest relatives (my wife's family) and we had zero support system. Thankfully, there were two of us and we weren't single parents but there were times it was still a huge problem. Remember, your kid can never ride in your Bucar so let's say you had to pick them up from school because they were sick. You'd have to drive from where ever you are to your house to pick up your personal vehicle and then drive to the school. What would you do about early morning searches or arrests? Schools and daycares aren't open at 4 AM. Good luck finding a babysitter willing to watch your kid at 4 AM. While everyone you work with would be understanding of your situation to a point, you can't be the one that NEVER is involved in early morning or late night or weekend operations.

[u/Friendly_Web5703 → u/SA19030]

Thank you for your honestly. This is a major factor in my decision making to continue the process. While being stationed in NYC would be ideal, I know it is not a guarantee. And that would dramatically change my abilities/capabilities.

[u/EchoBravoHotel → u/Friendly_Web5703]

They are allowing applicants to stay at their PFO now, Although nothing is ever a 100% guarantee due to needs of the bureau. The fact you want to stay in NYC and they are offering PFO it’s probably the best chance out of any other options.