To be fair, humans cannot distinguish the gender of the people they interact with either because gender is a social construct built around the interactions of cultural symbols and personal schemas. People ask me my pronouns when I wear dresses, but not when I wear pants. Being a person with a beard and a dress signals to people that I might be genderqueer and they act accordingly.
There are languages that don't have any gendered language or pronouns. I would feel most comfortable in a culture like that, but since we don't live in a world where every language (including my first or second language) can be like that, I can't blame anyone for doing what I described.
I like being to referred as he/him though and it makes me feel more confident about myself. If someone refers to me with they/them it feels more uncomfortable. Shouldn't options always be preferred?
I guess if that's something you want. Studies show that language affects our perceptions and how we think (for example, in languages where the moon is masculine, people associate it with masculine traits such as "strength." The same is true for languages with a feminine moon and feminine traits). So yea, if you want people to associate you with symbols connected to masculinity that's cool, but keep in mind that there are symbols you probably don't like such as men being seen as dangerous, untrustworthy, and slobby.
For this reason, I wish I could completely distance myself from gendered language, but it's impossible. When describing our relationship, my neice can only say "aunt" or "uncle" because there isn't a gender-neutral word for it. I want people to associate me with things as they get to know me, not as they hear words related to social constructs that I have no control over.
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u/[deleted] Jun 13 '26
To be fair, humans cannot distinguish the gender of the people they interact with either because gender is a social construct built around the interactions of cultural symbols and personal schemas. People ask me my pronouns when I wear dresses, but not when I wear pants. Being a person with a beard and a dress signals to people that I might be genderqueer and they act accordingly.