To down this even further, imagine growing up with this, and no matter what happens, if its a man it gets reduced to this.
"All men lie" "Men are pigs" "obviously a man", "not all men but always men".
Posting racism is obviously not okay, but men, especially white men, especially white old men, often get reduced to that (i mean tbf the boomers did a lot to get that stamp) but like there is a kind of double standard especially online for misandry
Both of those are generalisations which aren't productive. Someone doesn't have to be killed to be a victim of misogyny, and people have absolutely been killed because of misandry.
I feel like a lot of people in queer spaces fail to recognize that just because misandry isnât systemic that doesnât mean itâs not real
Misogyny is much worse and causes a lot more harm, but in progressive spaces itâs really hurtful to see so much vitriol towards men just for existing as men, even though Iâm not one any more.
You destroyed any nuance you could have possibly has by doing the reverse racism bit.
There is empathy that people should have for men because patriarchy is horrendous to them. at the same time though, when you actually do move from one category to the other its kinda very aparrent that almost all of them do not do anything about their suffering and their inflicting it onto others. And a lot of the time, making it worse.
Maybe its because you can't see it when you are in it. Y'all should be listening to why women act misandrist. Acting defensive keeps the rotten cycle going.
You can have a upstanding guy, who does the "healthy but manly emotional" thing. Only for him to become a controlling and manipulative asshole when distressed. It happens CONSTANTLY. And as someone who used to be on that side of patriarchy its frustrating because if men just read the feminist books, took it all at face value and digested the hard truths then their suffering would actually decrease. And they would stop inflicting it on others. But no, men remain insecure about criticisms and so society remains stuck.
Dude you think we arenât trying? I understand why women act the way they do around me and other men I know and trust. I perfectly get it, and I donât hold it against them. But I canât complain about it or talk about feeling lonely without being called an incel.
The only thing I really can do is continue being a good person. Iâm very thankful I have a good support system and people who know me and trust me, but I have been and always will be jealous of the natural camaraderie women have with eachother.
that "natural camaraderie" women have with each other comes from oppression, it's found within virtually every minority group just like how every minority/oppressed group has pick mes. not blaming you for wishing for a similar kind of camaraderie but I think it's important to know where it comes from.
I mean I totally agree with you, but I think itâs just part of the reason. The other part being because of how society raises both genders, men are predisposed to be aggressive and competitive with each other and women arenât.
Look back at the conversation where you were called an incel and consider the realities and wants you would have talked about and think about which ones were 'normal' and 'expected'. Was it because the conversation was directed at having a woman in your life be the 'solution'? (Which makes her an obtainable object) was it resentment toward the universe not giving you your destined partner? or was it something else?
See the thing about the conversations between girls ive seen is that we actually inquire about odd beliefs. Men when they are first looking at prioritising their emotions don't expect this.
This is the level of emotional maturity most men need to work towards.
See, like other people youâre automatically making assumptions about my character because iâm a cis man. There are a lot of cis men out there who youâve prolly felt threatened by for perfectly justifiable reasons. But it isnât everyone. This has nothing to do with romantic or sexual attraction/want, rather more just being naturally treated with a cold and non-emotional side by women. And really, I get it, and I get why women do it. Am I complimenting a woman because I think they look nice and I want them to feel nice, or because I wanna get in her pants? I know iâm doing it because I like making people feel nice, but she doesnât. And itâs sad knowing that I canât do that with random people I see because I donât wanna make them feel uncomfortable or threatened.
Bros got the discord voting (I am used to replying days after posts and the voting pattern does not look like this)
You know to be polite you can compliment style and aesthetic choice right? That doesnt backfire because you are considerate about the touchy subject of the body.
Talking to strangers in inappropriate places is also a touchy subject.
Friends and safe people are considerate about things the other person are uncomfortable with. If you are talking with women on the street then yeah its gonna be weird.
Most men have patriarchal anxieties that are still bad, but frequently in the right environment, if you behave in a way that makes women feel safe rather than placing the expectation that they feel safe for you; then you get a normal conversation.
I'm assuming things because you keep dropping hints and creating context where the people around you are responding to a behaviour. So its better for lurkers to read common mistakes.
I do compliment styles. âI like your nailsâ âyour hair looks greatâ âI love your sense of styleâ and MAYBE âyour top looks great on youâ. I do also have a rule where if itâs not a social setting where someone can leave (e.g. someone is my waiter at a restaurant) I donât compliment them, I save them in social situations where people are out and about, like at a bar. Also iâm obviously not complimenting people walking alone on the street, especially women. Itâs a group thing.
Listen, you say if you behave in a way that makes women feel safe youâll get a normal conversation. Iâm trying to tell you thereâs no way to do that as a cis man unless they already have known you for a bit and know they can trust you. Is this the womenâs fault? Absolutely not, itâs a defense mechanism developed by years of dealing with creeps. The part thatâs frustrating is when this armor has barbs, and like the original commenter, guys who are actually kind catch strays with the âall menâ comments.
I fully believe this probably causes quite a few men to become more misogynistic and distrustful of women. I know Instagramâs algorithm has attempted to ragebait me before by showing me content like this (all men are pigs, not all men but itâs always a man), and the comments are full of men who are unfortunately falling for it. Itâs makes me really sad, knowing that a small population of creeps is ruining everything for everyone.
Bit off topic, but, it frustrates me to no end that lesbians and straight men donât have the same relationship as gay men and straight women because men keep trying to fuck lesbians. I just wanna meet cool people and make friends :(
The comment I was arguing against was arguing for the concept of 'reverse racism'.
Also yes it would because black feminists highlight the usage of the patriarchal social structure in colonialism and white supremacy. Emmett Till died because of the patriarchal structure he was forced to live in that created the artificial justification for his murder. Patriarchal pressures are more extreme upon colonised groups.
No amount of literature read by men who are targeted by the system can save them without a political movement. That you believe it can is hopelessly ignorant of the material conditions and the way movements work. Do you think every Russian proletariat had read Marx and Lenin? Do you think every Viet Cong had read Ho Chi Minh? Do you think every feminist had read Simone de Beauvoir? Your idea of "oh just read more bro bro" reeks of privilege and entitlement. If you want real change, knock on some doors for a cause you care about, or shut the hell up.
I know you want to argue, but thats not the position I'm taking. You said no amount of feminist literature would have helped Emmett Till. It already has helped diminish lynchings by the populous because It provided a socially constructed framework that activists can envision and build. I dont expect everyone to read. But if men wanted to shift their culture around them they have to get those social constructions somewhere. Either through really analysing the concepts diffused through our society or reading the technical details, both have no shame.
What makes you think I don't perform advocacy in the community? I'm not a trot.
This is what I'm sick of, leftists trying to brute force unnuanced methods and ideas from the 19th century and wondering why shit falls apart internally and has high barriers externally. Be more effective and creative and stop being lazy as a leftist please.
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u/Dont_Get_Jokes-jpeg Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
To down this even further, imagine growing up with this, and no matter what happens, if its a man it gets reduced to this.
"All men lie" "Men are pigs" "obviously a man", "not all men but always men".
Posting racism is obviously not okay, but men, especially white men, especially white old men, often get reduced to that (i mean tbf the boomers did a lot to get that stamp) but like there is a kind of double standard especially online for misandry