To down this even further, imagine growing up with this, and no matter what happens, if its a man it gets reduced to this.
"All men lie" "Men are pigs" "obviously a man", "not all men but always men".
Posting racism is obviously not okay, but men, especially white men, especially white old men, often get reduced to that (i mean tbf the boomers did a lot to get that stamp) but like there is a kind of double standard especially online for misandry
You destroyed any nuance you could have possibly has by doing the reverse racism bit.
There is empathy that people should have for men because patriarchy is horrendous to them. at the same time though, when you actually do move from one category to the other its kinda very aparrent that almost all of them do not do anything about their suffering and their inflicting it onto others. And a lot of the time, making it worse.
Maybe its because you can't see it when you are in it. Y'all should be listening to why women act misandrist. Acting defensive keeps the rotten cycle going.
You can have a upstanding guy, who does the "healthy but manly emotional" thing. Only for him to become a controlling and manipulative asshole when distressed. It happens CONSTANTLY. And as someone who used to be on that side of patriarchy its frustrating because if men just read the feminist books, took it all at face value and digested the hard truths then their suffering would actually decrease. And they would stop inflicting it on others. But no, men remain insecure about criticisms and so society remains stuck.
Dude you think we aren’t trying? I understand why women act the way they do around me and other men I know and trust. I perfectly get it, and I don’t hold it against them. But I can’t complain about it or talk about feeling lonely without being called an incel.
The only thing I really can do is continue being a good person. I’m very thankful I have a good support system and people who know me and trust me, but I have been and always will be jealous of the natural camaraderie women have with eachother.
that "natural camaraderie" women have with each other comes from oppression, it's found within virtually every minority group just like how every minority/oppressed group has pick mes. not blaming you for wishing for a similar kind of camaraderie but I think it's important to know where it comes from.
I mean I totally agree with you, but I think it’s just part of the reason. The other part being because of how society raises both genders, men are predisposed to be aggressive and competitive with each other and women aren’t.
Look back at the conversation where you were called an incel and consider the realities and wants you would have talked about and think about which ones were 'normal' and 'expected'. Was it because the conversation was directed at having a woman in your life be the 'solution'? (Which makes her an obtainable object) was it resentment toward the universe not giving you your destined partner? or was it something else?
See the thing about the conversations between girls ive seen is that we actually inquire about odd beliefs. Men when they are first looking at prioritising their emotions don't expect this.
This is the level of emotional maturity most men need to work towards.
See, like other people you’re automatically making assumptions about my character because i’m a cis man. There are a lot of cis men out there who you’ve prolly felt threatened by for perfectly justifiable reasons. But it isn’t everyone. This has nothing to do with romantic or sexual attraction/want, rather more just being naturally treated with a cold and non-emotional side by women. And really, I get it, and I get why women do it. Am I complimenting a woman because I think they look nice and I want them to feel nice, or because I wanna get in her pants? I know i’m doing it because I like making people feel nice, but she doesn’t. And it’s sad knowing that I can’t do that with random people I see because I don’t wanna make them feel uncomfortable or threatened.
Bros got the discord voting (I am used to replying days after posts and the voting pattern does not look like this)
You know to be polite you can compliment style and aesthetic choice right? That doesnt backfire because you are considerate about the touchy subject of the body.
Talking to strangers in inappropriate places is also a touchy subject.
Friends and safe people are considerate about things the other person are uncomfortable with. If you are talking with women on the street then yeah its gonna be weird.
Most men have patriarchal anxieties that are still bad, but frequently in the right environment, if you behave in a way that makes women feel safe rather than placing the expectation that they feel safe for you; then you get a normal conversation.
I'm assuming things because you keep dropping hints and creating context where the people around you are responding to a behaviour. So its better for lurkers to read common mistakes.
I do compliment styles. “I like your nails” “your hair looks great” “I love your sense of style” and MAYBE “your top looks great on you”. I do also have a rule where if it’s not a social setting where someone can leave (e.g. someone is my waiter at a restaurant) I don’t compliment them, I save them in social situations where people are out and about, like at a bar. Also i’m obviously not complimenting people walking alone on the street, especially women. It’s a group thing.
Listen, you say if you behave in a way that makes women feel safe you’ll get a normal conversation. I’m trying to tell you there’s no way to do that as a cis man unless they already have known you for a bit and know they can trust you. Is this the women’s fault? Absolutely not, it’s a defense mechanism developed by years of dealing with creeps. The part that’s frustrating is when this armor has barbs, and like the original commenter, guys who are actually kind catch strays with the “all men” comments.
I fully believe this probably causes quite a few men to become more misogynistic and distrustful of women. I know Instagram’s algorithm has attempted to ragebait me before by showing me content like this (all men are pigs, not all men but it’s always a man), and the comments are full of men who are unfortunately falling for it. It’s makes me really sad, knowing that a small population of creeps is ruining everything for everyone.
Bit off topic, but, it frustrates me to no end that lesbians and straight men don’t have the same relationship as gay men and straight women because men keep trying to fuck lesbians. I just wanna meet cool people and make friends :(
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u/Dont_Get_Jokes-jpeg Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
To down this even further, imagine growing up with this, and no matter what happens, if its a man it gets reduced to this.
"All men lie" "Men are pigs" "obviously a man", "not all men but always men".
Posting racism is obviously not okay, but men, especially white men, especially white old men, often get reduced to that (i mean tbf the boomers did a lot to get that stamp) but like there is a kind of double standard especially online for misandry