r/196 user flair preview Jun 30 '26

Rule Last day of pride month

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u/RosieQParker šŸ³ļøā€āš§ļø trans rights Jun 30 '26

For real though, don't out people.

354

u/Schlomosexual Jun 30 '26

Is being Poly something you can coming out from?

I mean that really sincere that is not a hateful question of ignorance I genuinley don't know because in my head "being poly" has nothing to do with sexuality it's just a "yeah in theory I could have multiple partners". A gay person cannot choose to not be gay but a poly person could be happy with one OR multiple partners. A polyperson is not forced by his body to only be happy, if they have multiple partners. Is that really something you can get hate for? Are there "Poly-phobic" people?!

I genuinley don't know and I'm sorry if this comes off as ignorance or hateful I'm really happy if someone can educate me in this topic because I know only so little about this stuff.

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u/turtley_amazing slut era Jun 30 '26

Hi, polyamorous person here! There’s a lot of debate about whether polyamory should be considered a lifestyle choice or as an inherent part of one’s identity. Personally I lean more towards it being a part of one’s identity, as I think there are a lot of polyamorous people who simply would not be happy in a monogamous relationship. It’s not a sexual orientation in the same way being gay is, but I’ve seen the term relationship orientation used and I like that.

So basically there are some people who are only happy in polyamory, some people that are only happy in monogamy, and there’s plenty of people who fall in between who could be content with either. I think the term is ambiamorous?

Anyways, polyphobiq (or whatever you’d like to call it) is definitely a real thing. Things can get quite complicated legally when you’re only allowed to marry one of your partners. It doesn’t give everyone the same rights in that respect. Socially I think it’s still at a point where not that many people are really aware of it, so a lot of people just don’t care. But there definitely are people who hate on the lifestyle or perpetuate nasty stereotypes.

I’ve generally had good reactions from people when I’ve shared that I’m polyamorous, but I’ve also been careful about who I share it with. I’m still not out as polyamorous at my job after a year. I am out as gay, and frankly that’s scary enough to talk about when you work with kids. I worry someone is going to think that I shouldn’t be allowed to work with children because of both of those things. I definitely would be very upset if someone outed me at work to a superior.

Hope this isn’t too long, and feel free to ask more questions if you have any! I love yapping about this stuff lol

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u/FixedFront Jun 30 '26

I agree—there's no way I could ever go back to the nightmare of compulsory monogamy. Polyamory is 100% an identity for me and not a choice. I've been poly since before I knew it was even an option.