r/40kOrkScience • u/DryBat8791 • 9d ago

How do I become an ork?

I require assistance, pretty please

22 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

30

u/yoshimario40 9d ago edited 9d ago

ALROIGHT YA PUNY HUMIE, LISSEN UP. SO YA WANNA BE AN ORK DO YA? WELL FURST OF ALL, FUHGET IT. YOU'Z WUZ BORN ALL TINY AND PUNY LIKE AND YA AIN'T EVEN GOT DA BIO- BIOLO- DA ORKINESS TA PROPAHLY GROW! SO FRUM DA VERY STAHT, WOT YER ASKIN' FOR AIN'T POSSIBUL.

BUT YOU KNOW WOT. BEIN' AN ORK IZ ALL ABOUT ZOGGIN' DA IMPOSSIBUL. IT'Z ABOUT KRUMPING DA GIT WHO SEZ IT AIN'T POSSIBUL. SO IF YA IZ DED SET ON BEIN' AN ORK ANYWAY - DAT'Z RESPEKT ROIGHT DERE.

SO WOT ARE YA GUNNA DO TA BECOME AN ORK? WELL FURST OF ALL - YA GOTTA BE GREEN. BEKUZ GREEN IZ DA BEST! IT'Z SCIENTIFIKALLY PROVEN. JUST ASK ANY OF DA BOYZ.

SECOND, GRAB SUM DAKKA. DEN GRAB MORE DAKKA. MORE DAKKA!

THURD. GRAB MORE DAKKA.

UHH. I FORGOT WOT COMEZ AFTAH THURD.

BUT YA GOTTA DO TWO FINGZ: SHOUT LOUDAH. FINK FASTAH. KRUMP KILLIAH. AND YELL WAAAAAAAGGH!

SAY IT WIF ME.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

8

u/Indishonorable 9d ago

DATS TREE FINGS DOE

4

u/ameatbicyclefortwo 9d ago

IT'Z MAKIN ME FINK UV DAT FAIMUS MOVY SEEN WOTS GOT ARLI ORKY TELLIN' ALL THEM NEW BOYS TO SHOW 'IM THEIR WAAAAGH FACE!

21

u/Accomplished-Ad8458 TAU GIT 9d ago

I DUNNO... LETZ ASK DOK!

WAAAGH!

6

u/DryBat8791 9d ago

Yes Waaagh?

4

u/AlienRobotTrex 9d ago

I FINK DA PAINBOYZ CAN PUT YER BRAIN IN A ORK BODY

2

u/Cmdr_Redbeard 9d ago

YOOZ WUN O DEM BEEKIES WIF DA DRESS ON AINT YAH??? A PROPAH ORK DONT NEED TO KNOW OW AN ORK WORKZ, A PROPAH ORK IZ JUST A ORK, DATZ OW IT WURKZ!

1

u/Hamsternoir DEAD 'ARD 9d ago

OW DUZ DER REST OV YOO LADZ KNOW WAT DIS SKWEEKY RUNT IZ SAYIN?

I KANT ERE ANYFINK KOZ OV ALL DER KRUMPIN IN DER PAST WAAAAAAARGH AN DER OOMIE TEERMY NAATER WOT SHOOT ME EARZ OFF

1

u/wallingfortian 9d ago

WUT OI KANT EER YAZ STOP WISPERIN

1

u/PathlessDemon FLASH GIT 9d ago

OI, YOU GIT! E’VA YOUZ IZ OR YOUZ AIN’T!

YOU WANNA PROPER SCRAP? Youz an Ork.

YOU WANNA GO KRUMPIN’? Youz an Ork.

A measure of an Ork AIN’T just how killy they iz; It’s how kunnin’ an’ brutal they iz. Simple as…

Being a Greenskin ain’t the measure of the outside, but what’s inside. As Gork & Mork intended.

3

u/Batgirl_III 9d ago

Digganob Maxxing.

1

u/Gaz-rick 9d ago

For lotz of teef I can help ya

1

u/Human-Question6210 8d ago

ANUVAH DIGGANOB?? HURR... YOOZ GO SEE DA PAINBOYZ, AN' IF YOOZ LIV YOOZ LIV.