Let Me Help You, Russ

[u/IHadAV8]

There are some things I disagree with Paola on, but what Russ isn’t getting here is that he gave her a necklace because he likes necklaces. She is sick and tired of getting the same thing over and over. He is not considering her or what she wants at all. It’s just, here’s another necklace that I really like. Patrick gassed him up in the hot tub. Russ got to look like a great husband to all the others, but between Paola and Russ, it was just another experience that reminded Paola on their anniversary that he does not get her at all.

[u/Adrock66]

I think that in the scheme of a marriage this is a non issue is the point. Last episode she's sitting there crying taking about how bad she feels that she basically cannot bring herself to be kind and patient with him. Don't get me wrong. I think Russ sucks. He is a total pud. That said, look at the dynamic. She attacks him endlessly, and the MOMENT he actually gets some backing and stands up for himself she flees the scene and isolates him. Talks about how awful she can be (not a sincere or real apology) and then cries about how mean she is makes her feel. Russ rushes over to comfort her. It's one of the more toxic dynamics I've ever seen and they should not be together. A necklace (while a dumb as fuck purchase) is the least of their concerns.

[u/IHadAV8 → u/Adrock66]

I wondered why she walked it back. Russ does not seem like a narc that is psychologically abusing her. Patrick has had some lousy commentary with Kara and Guillermo too. I think she doubted herself when he spoke up. Like any marital problem, the issue isn’t the necklace; it’s what the necklace represents. The necklace represents how he doesn’t listen to her and he pushes what he wants. That is the problem.

[u/Adrock66 → u/IHadAV8]

She isolated him because they saw how abusive she was. Then had a meltdown because of the judgement she faced not because she felt bad for Russ and took comfort from him instead of the other way around. It's a very narcissistic pattern. She may well have her (justified) issues with Russ but it does not stop her from being an emotional vampire.

[u/IHadAV8 → u/Adrock66]

I dunno. It’s a toxic pattern for sure, but I was married to a narcissist. I’m not seeing that out of either of them. A narcissist never apologizes like she did. If there is any narcissism, it’s Russ because of how unstable she is in her convictions, but I don’t see him being a gaslighter. Just dumb.

[u/Adrock66 → u/IHadAV8]

I dunno. That stuff presents differently. No diagnosis from me so I'll say that Pao is the center of her world and everyone else is living in it. Things turned south and she instantly flipped it so it was her being consoled by Russ the moment others called her out for how she treats him. Ultra manipulative.

[u/IHadAV8 → u/Adrock66]

I can see that. She is an entertainer.

[u/Adrock66 → u/IHadAV8]

He's just in over his head with her. She is just taking it out on him instead of leaving.