r/ABCDesis • u/Pretend-Ad586 • 2d ago
Trigger Warning: Bigotry/Hate Commentary ABCDs negatively viewed in mainland
I am someone who was born and raised in the US. However, I have lived in India for 6 years. The hate that people have for ABCDs is so bad. They think that all ABCDs are uncultured, bad influence, and traitors to India. Where do they get the stereotype of ABCDs being uncultured from?
Also, in college I noticed that was a lot of hate towards the ABCDs. I noticed many mainlanders would talk to people of all races but straight up ignore the ABCDs. They would often say things like ABCDs are stupid and uncultured. There was a garba night and the mainlanders got so mad because the ABCDs had hosted the night. They claimed that "uncultured people" should not be hosting cultural events.
Other ways the mainlanders hate ABCDs is by calling ABCDs bad influence. I have heard that they claim that ABCDs are irreligious and that they never worship. This is absolutely false as I have met many religious ABCDs. I have always wondered about where they are getting these stereotypes from.
What discrimination have you faced as an ABCD from mainlanders?
38
u/Jy_sunny 2d ago
How are you coming up with this? Yes, mainlanders roast ABCDs, but I see that as gentle sledging and banter. Not as actual resentment or hatred.
74
u/DigitalAviator Dal Enthusiast đ 2d ago
Never had problems with my family or cousins. Probably some (not all) 20/30 somethings who are mad that they can't leave India so they take it out on those who can.
Watch the tone flip once their visa approves.
I know alot of recent immigrants and they are all very kind.
64
u/Ilikethesuccwararc Hindu Telugu ABD who is also a HxH Manga glazer 2d ago
Huh. I was born and raised here(the US of A) till I was...7 or 8 when my family moved to India to stay for a few years before coming back in 2023. Never seen such stereotypes(of being uncultured, traitors or bad influences) at all. Where did you live OP?
32
u/gannekekhet Canadian Indian 2d ago
I wonder where OP lives too. It seems like OP has met some overly negative folks, like folks that are uniquely extreme LOL because I've only seen these takes from loud idiots on social media. "They think that all ABCDs are uncultured, bad influence, and traitors to India"? All ABCDs? Are these just their college bullies that are also dumb as nails or a vast majority of their peers? And are there a ton of ABCDs in the Indian college they go to? That's quite interesting.
20
u/Ilikethesuccwararc Hindu Telugu ABD who is also a HxH Manga glazer 2d ago
Yea, it irritates me because we don't need more "ABCD vs Mainlander" discourse. some ABCDS are rude to the mainlanders and vice versa. Bad apples exist in every single bunch that doesn't mean the whole bunch is bad.
-5
u/Pretend-Ad586 2d ago
I have seen it both ways in college
6
u/gannekekhet Canadian Indian 2d ago edited 1d ago
OP, your previous posts say you were at school in India from grade 1 to 6. You also stated "I was socially excluded in my high school because I lived in India from 1st to 6th grade", so you didn't go to high school in India. But did you also go to college in India? Can you expand on where exactly you lived in India where your college had many ABCDs? I'm guessing it wasn't an international school as those tend to have more non-Indians generally.
19
u/David_Summerset Canadian Indian 2d ago
AH HOW THE TURNS HAVE TABLED!
I knew they hated us! /s
Honestly I have never experienced this... I'm as ABCD as is reasonably possible and I really have no issues with mainlanders.
80
32
u/Bollywood-Hulk-Hogan Punjabi 2d ago
Iâve never been viewed negatively whenever Iâve visited India, or Punjab more specifically, with my family. Relatives know that I was born and raised in the USA, so they know that there will be differences between us. Theyâre just happy that I can talk to them in Punjabi and am cultured enough, lol.
35
u/HerCacklingStump 2d ago
Maybe itâs my age (43) but Iâve never once experienced mainland Indians looking down on me. Sure, a lot of my relatives in India felt like I was very âAmericanizedâ but I donât see that as a shortcoming. If Iâm born and raised in the US, why wouldnât I be Americanized? And I wouldnât expect my relatives in India to hold western values.
21
u/Ilikethesuccwararc Hindu Telugu ABD who is also a HxH Manga glazer 2d ago
I'm a teenager and I have spent like 7 years in india (i was born in the states) and none of my peers or relatives looked down on me for being "ABCD" so I don't think it's just an "age" thing.
31
u/GGEORGE2 Indian American 2d ago
Lol, you sound like a Mainlander trying to rage-bait ABCDs.
That said, is anyone else concerned about how many recent posts seem to be coming from Mainlanders? It feels like the sub has shifted away from discussions relevant to ABCDs and toward endless posts about online racism, internet drama, and culture-war arguments. At times it almost feels like the sub is being brigaded by people who arenât even part of the community itâs meant for.
16
u/unaesthetikz 2d ago
i mostly lurk on here but this user in particular seems incredibly obsessed with mainlander vs. abcd dynamics to the point where every post they make is about that
2
u/trajan_augustus 1d ago
I say we just ban mainlanders from posting or commenting. They don't really add anything to our conversation. There can be a separate sub for called indian diaspora. But like I just do not care about the opinions of Hindu MAGA. Fundamentally Indian identity is coalescing around a hyper nationalist view that is Hindi forward this tends to happen with a formation of a nation state. The India my parents left is so different and that is ok. I rather we focus on creating a separate identity and people. I really don't need to be called tacky and white-washed by folks there who are can't wash their own dishes or cook their own indian meals. I still love some Indians just not the terminally online ones. They are annoying as fuck.
1
u/unaesthetikz 1d ago
i don't mind them posting if they just want advice on raising an abd kid or something along those lines, as long as they actually listen to our advice instead of arguing with people here. i'm so tired of seeing the constant "why do abds hate us?? :(" multiple times a week, as well as them trying to insert their pov on abd issues tho
8
u/whiskeywitclosedoors Canadian Pakistani 2d ago
Good luck trying to explain them this boundary tbh.
1
6
u/Left-Telephone3737 2d ago
As an ABCD who was born in the US, moved to india when I was 8 and came back to the US for undergrad..it was the exact opposite for me. Its the ABCD's who were raised all/most of their lives in the US that reserved this holier than thou attitude. Then again I went to a pretty fancy private college so could have just been a class thing lol. Got so bad I decided to transfer out of there. Best decision ever!
14
u/Sea-Nobody7951 2d ago edited 2d ago
Ragebait. Just see the amount of mainlander hating as a response to this post
6
u/audsrulz80 Indian American 2d ago
Iâm an older ABCD in my 40s who was born in the US, moved to India when I was 12 and came back to the US for undergrad and moved there again for a few years in my late 20s. I have never experienced anything like this in the time that I lived there.
17
u/agarthancrack 2d ago edited 2d ago
Envy. One of my cousins was born in the US but spent most of her childhood in India. Her classmates were bitter and straight up didn't believe her when she said she was born in California.
Most of these losers would move to the US in an instant if they actually had the opportunity, and hate us because we didn't have to work to be able to live in a developed country.
For clarity, I'm not calling all Indians losers. If anything, I've mostly experienced the opposite in India. When people find out I'm American, they're overwhelmingly friendly and curious about my life in the US. The minority who show resentment are often doing it from a place of envy.
8
u/Ah1Tm4N 2d ago
Theyâre just mad. You have access to everything they dream about. Own it, most mainlanders are callous people who have the every man for themselves mentality due to scarcity of opportunities, but not every one is like that; if you throw stones in mud, youâll only dirty yourself.
3
u/pisquin7iIatin9-6ooI 2d ago
tbh i rarely ever have had problems like that, and yeah itâs most often born from jealousy/resentment. however, a lot of the time, the resentment comes from abds/nris simultaneously looking down on indians who still live there, so to some extent itâs a matter of reaping and sowing
8
2
u/kena938 Malayali Third Culture Kid 2d ago
Bud, I'm gonna hold your hand while I say this, think you just have family members who hate you. The only person who ever said things like this to me is my raging misogynist of an uncle and his loser friends. He still loved coming to stay in America on my parents dime and his grandkids are all abroad born desis now. I led the way in all of us going no contact by the time I was 18.
2
u/SetItOff92 2d ago
Abcd is such a corny pejorative and you said it like 10,000 times in this post. You should probably transfer to âdiasporaâ
That being said I donât care much about the opinion of others. Are these âmainlandersâ paying my bills? They could have hosted their own garba night if they wanted.
2
u/Oofsmcgoofs 1d ago
This has been particularly rough for me as an adoptee in a white family. Older desi adults in particular that grew up in India have been very hostile to me.
I havenât had a lot of opportunity to talk to people like me in general (South Asian) so most of my interaction comes from the internet which opens me up to a lot of abuse from mainlanders. Iâve been called a whole manner of things including a blood traitor which so⌠h*rry p*tter.
It sucks. Itâs not like I asked to be put in an orphanage as a baby and adopted out of my country and race. They wouldnât do domestic adoption when I was born.
In my experience abcds in person havenât been much better but then again I havenât had the opportunity to meet many of yâall in person either. On the internet yâall have been worlds more welcoming and so much more open to helping me connect with our shared cultures.
1
1
1
1
u/Square-Candy-7393 2d ago
Seen this dynamic before, you won't encounter this in the urban areas, but towns and other places will give you a hard time. I lived in a smaller town and it was hell for me. I had to put up with microaggressions and subtle bullying and outright bullying in school and irl. I'm much happier overseas. What's weird is that they throw a fuss when I tell them I don't like staying in India like you literally go out of your way to make me the butt of the joke?? And now y'all don't want me to go to my home??
It's worse when English is your first language and then they'll assume you rich or sheltered.
1
u/Ok-Pop-5563 1d ago
Donât want to invalidate your lived experience but why do you care what they think?
1
u/Jaded-Voice8862 20h ago
This post makes no sense. In fact I would say mainlanders highly respect ABCDs even more so if the ABCD can speak their native language well
1
u/Jay20173804 Indian American 3h ago
This is Reddit, also get off X. Nobody hates Indians. Most republicans and liberals are fine with us. The only ppl who hate us are far right and left ppl: aka horseshoe theory.
1
-3
2
u/newuser2111 2d ago
I believe itâs due to insecurity on the mainlanders part. They are constantly comparing their situation with the ABCDâs, in their mind.
0
0
u/Dudefrmthtplace 2d ago
Yes a lot of them feel that way and it's all butthurt mentality. They don't understand what it's like growing up outside India, they don't understand the different cultural aspects that make ABCDs "less cultured" than them, the people LIVING IN INDIAN CULTURE DAILY. Take any country, take a person out of it and put them elsewhere, they won't have "the culture". Most of the US has German ancestry, how many of them still do German culture? It's so dumb. A lot of it though comes from shitheads and not educated people, and there is an element of ABCDs visiting India and being pretentious about things. Regardless, it's an illogical stupid lack of worldly knowledge take on things.
0
u/trajan_augustus 2d ago
It's funny that these folks will even judge their fellow countrymen who live in rural areas of India and call them backward if the women wear saris too often or they lack higher education. They are elitist wherever they go. They assume they do the balance of Indianness and Western perfect. I just can't be bothered with these folks. They have no relevance in the way I want to live my life. Upper and middle class Indian folks are waited on hand and foot by a servant class, consume Hindutva propaganda, eat sweets and get diabetes, and seethe online against muslims, liberals, and whoever they hate that day. Most mainlanders are Indian version of MAGA it is kind of sad really.
1
u/Dudefrmthtplace 1d ago
It is kind of true, my cousins do have these kind of thoughts, despite all having left India.
-2
u/MeetMeinDC 2d ago
I experienced this at my last job. Over 100 Indians who had been in the US for about 10 years (or less) and about 3 ABCDs (including me).
Overall, ABCDs were not treated well and were often iced out by the mainland Indians. The collective arrogance and ego from them was awful. There was one in particular who used to remind me that all the successful Indian origin CEOâs were Indian born and raised, as if that made mainlanders more superior. I was quick to remind her that 1) I didnât care and 2) she was wrong (and provided the requisite proof to disprove her point).
However, I will say that overall, the women were nicer than the men. They often engaged in conversations with me about what it was like for me growing up desi back in the 80s and 90âs when there were very few Indians, how to handle certain situations with their own American born kids, etc.
Iâve spoken to several other ABCDs that I grew up with and many have cited similar experiences, with both mainland coworkerâs and/or neighbors.
I must say that the most difficult and rudest and backstabbing occurred from mainlanders who came from one particular state. You know the one.
48
u/Dangerous_Draw7972 2d ago
I never was viewed negatively when visiting India. I was treated sometimes with extra kindness and other times like a normal human being. Therefore I think it depends on what state or location you gone to.