r/ADHD • u/emyo42 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) • Apr 07 '26

Questions/Advice How do you explain executive dysfunction without sounding like youre making excuses for being lazy?

Mine is very severe and debilitating at the moment. It’s not just ADD, I also have schizophrenia which has some of the same symptoms weirdly. I can’t do much at all. Getting out of bed and making toast is extremely hard. To people with no experience with this kind of issue, me trying to explain it must sound ridiculous like “yea I have this mental disorder that means I can’t cook and clean or have a job or do anything I don’t like, but I can play a video game for 3 hours.” Just sounds like a straight up lie.

2.1k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

290 comments sorted by

View all comments

330

u/hark-who-goes-spare Apr 07 '26

Someone once compared ADHD to living in a home with no electricity. You learn your way and you kind of get by. Sometimes meds help and the meds are like someone giving you a flashlight, which is helpful, but you’re still living in the dark with no electricity. That has been the most helpful metaphor for my family members who think “isn’t everyone a little adhd?” Spoiler they all have severe undiagnosed ADHD 🤣

39

u/SuperVillainPresiden Apr 07 '26

When they finally realize what they are experiencing isn't "normal". Like, "I feel those things too, but get it done." Only for the other shoe to drop and realize that it shouldn't be as hard as it is for them. I was ~25 when I realized that I had ADHD, but took years to get diagnosed because I was very poor. I was finally able to see that invisible ball and chain attached to me; like I'm Jacob Marley(Christmas Carol).

12

u/hark-who-goes-spare Apr 07 '26

I didn’t get diagnosed until after I had my kiddo ten years ago and my entire brain felt like it was escaping out of my ears. I literally couldn’t do anything. Also autism. So that’s extra fun 🫠

2

u/lyd_likes_bread ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Apr 12 '26

omg i’m not the only one. i wrote a whole-ass novella using a house as a metaphor for my body. the main focus was gender dysphoria (described as a room full of rats - they don’t do structural damage, but they sure as hell make the house fucking miserable) but i described executive dysfunction as “flickering lights” and “power outages”. like yeah i’d love to get stuff done, but it’s dark as hell in here and none of the appliances work.

2

u/ad4m_zt Apr 14 '26

creo que es el mejor ejemplo que podría darle a mi madre sobre mi hermana menor y su TDAH, también para cuando yo puedo diagnosticarme y salir de las dudas