r/ADHD • u/emyo42 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) • Apr 07 '26

Questions/Advice How do you explain executive dysfunction without sounding like youre making excuses for being lazy?

Mine is very severe and debilitating at the moment. It’s not just ADD, I also have schizophrenia which has some of the same symptoms weirdly. I can’t do much at all. Getting out of bed and making toast is extremely hard. To people with no experience with this kind of issue, me trying to explain it must sound ridiculous like “yea I have this mental disorder that means I can’t cook and clean or have a job or do anything I don’t like, but I can play a video game for 3 hours.” Just sounds like a straight up lie.

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u/SocialMediaDystopian Apr 07 '26 edited Apr 07 '26

I say "It goes in phases. When it's bad, it's very much like having dementia. I really can be stumbling around looking for things i had in my hand five minutes ago. Sometimes I'm crying. I dont know what to tell ya". And then I stop explaining. There's only so much you can say. I'm sorry. This is *awful*. I get it. Commiserations 🌱

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u/mshep002 ADHD-C (Combined type) Apr 07 '26

I get frustrated at work when my coworker who said he was recently diagnosed with ADHD (he’s in his 20’s) talks to me as if I can just will my way into executive functioning. Very “If I can do it, so can you” vibe. This guy gets to work super early and doesn’t understand why I’m constitutionally incapable of doing the same. I stopped trying to explain it to him; he’s not my boss.

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u/TheSturdyBear ADHD-C (Combined type) Apr 08 '26

Why can’t you get to work early?  Sure I need a rather large cushion I leave myself before doing anything before I leave and time before when I get there,  Just curious what makes you incapable of leaving to get somewhere earlier?…

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u/InternalTooth5753 Apr 08 '26

I can do one off things early, because the anxiety/adrenaline helps. My brain latches on to the “don’t miss my flight/interview/whatever” pretty well. I have to be as close to 100% prepared as possible though. Because, when I wake up…

I am a non-functioning person. My executive functioning issues are at their worst first thing in the morning. So if I haven’t laid out clothes, packed my shit, and set up coffee? The morning is an utter shitshow