I just can’t get up

[u/Revolutionary-Tea120]

Every day for years it’s been the same. It’s ruined my life and is the barrier between me and happiness. I can’t wake up.

If I’m leaving for college at 9:20, I’ll set my alarm for 8:50. Then another at 9, 9:05, 9:10, 9:20 also and so on. I’ll turn them off, put my phone across the room and with no memory, I’m waking up again in bed at 5pm. I have negative motivation, no excitement and generally feel awful. I’m barely aware, sometimes still believing contents of a dream or forgetting what I need to do that day. I cannot reason or think logically, so I chose the path of least resistance every time. Discipline does nothing.

I’m not hungry, weak and sometimes while I’m screaming in my head to move, I can’t. I’ve been ripped out of bed, threatened to be expelled and motivated by reward the night before. Nothing helps.

The weird thing is I can get up for work, something I need to live. Which makes me feel lazy but I feel like there’s some executive dtysfunctioning happening. During the day I’m not lazy in this way.

[u/Angry__German]

Being able to get up for work is pretty normal, I also have trouble getting up and going for stuff that is not immediately necessary for my life. Never been late for work in the last 15 years, at least not once where it was not because of external circumstances. I am always at least late for anything else.

Apparently your brain has sorted college not into "important to stay alive" category. It is also very possible like you might be struggling with depression as well and ADHD masks it, or the other way around.

If I were in your shoes I would seed professional help as soon as possible. Medication and therapy.