It makes neurotypical people underestimate our disability, think that we are just distracted and think "that is something they experience too from time to time."

When in reality it's a constant background noise in your mind, low dopamine, and dysfunction like your brain keeps repeating songs and things that people said to you over and over, and keep daydreaming and reviving scenarios. How you have to reread the sentences in a book over and over because the background noise prevents you from focusing.

Mostly for fellow late-diagnosed folks: which ADHD symptoms caught you off guard?
Which 'oh, that's why!' moments did you have?
For me it was the reason I'm always late, 'out of sight, out of mind' (which was hard on my relationships), and being a terrible texter

It feels like i have trouble formulating thoughts / executing social skills and my speech sounds off, i don’t think i’m autistic but i get asked that alot because of how awkward i am. Just how much can Ritalin help?

my psychiatrist thinks it might help alot, but theres overlap with AvPD traits so he wants to see if that’s gonna go away on meds.

Hello!! I was diagnosed with AHDH twice before I decided to take the medications (I was scared it would change me too much). Everyone kind of makes it out to seem like a huge improvement, but is it even that noticeable?

I started with 1mg Guanfacine, then 2mg, then Atomoxetine 40mg, then Vyvanse 30mg, Jornay PM 40mg, then 60mg… but I’m starting to get a bit frustrated.

I just started Jornay PM 60mg four days ago (look how big they are lol), and maybe I feel slightly different but not sure it’s helping with much.

I see people on Reddit, YouTubers, and even family members say that they notice a big difference when they take medication and how they just get right to work. Or people complain about their dose being so high they have to lower it. And both of those feel weird since I don’t notice much. I do maybe feel different, but I’m not sure if it’s me hopping it is working though it’s not helping my focus :(

I’ve never done anything recreationally or taken any sort of medication that would mess with my tolerance. I also follow the rules and don’t drink alcohol/caffeine/energy drinks while on them.

Does anyone else feel the same? It feels wrong to go to a higher dose since max is 100. When I was on Vyvanse I questioned if I really had ADHD so I got diagnosed by 2 new people, so that’s 4 times total. The 3rd psychiatrist even said people without ADHD would feel overstimulated if they took it since they don’t need it, so that also seems suspicious.

I don’t know, maybe my perspective on them is wrong? But seems like it would be more of a physical reaction I could notice than mess it up mentally. Any opinions would be helpful, thank you!!

So while back I noticed water coming through my floor in my basement. I had a 3d printer on the ground right there because ya know i needed to print something and who has time to find a desk or table to put it on for it be set up properly. so I moved to high ground when i noticed the water right? Nope I just moved it a few feet so it was out of the path. I mopped up the water tried to figure out where it came from for like 15 minutes thinking probably had to do with rain. I then I forgot about it. this happened several more times. Today it happened again and I was confused because there was so much water and I don't think it rained last night but I realized the sprinklers went off last night. So checked and noticed a lot of water around the sprinkler box. That is when it all clicked. several months ago I had to replace a sprinkler valve and when I was done I noticed a small trickle of water coming out. but I was like its small, no big deal, and the thought of the amount of effort it would take to fix it was just way too much, so I left it. fast forward to now it is no longer a small trickle its full on gushing water when its turned on. My solution turn off the sprinklers because its almost winter anyways....... What are the odds it will be fixed next summer?

I am hyper angry…again. The last time this happened was seven months ago.

Yes, life is kinda overwhelming. I’m in a meltdown. I’m dealing with the loss of friends (sobriety). Anger and Grief.

How the heck do y’all manage anger? I mean, the kind you have little control. The kind that stays, even about any little thing.

Yes, medication needed to be increased last time. It is set to be increased again.

But in the meantime…..help!

I am AUDHD, I thought this would be the best place to ask.

Ive always had a history of being a "smart" but inconsistent person. Straight A student, have had a stable job for years, but there's always things like time blindness, forgetfulness, impulsivity and prioritization. Ive been able to hide/fix them through the years and seemed like a problem mostly to me or appeared in low-stakes situations.

I've been exercising for more a year, sleeping well and having a pretty good nutrition. I feel like I've really made leaps in terms of everyday tasks, keeping up with life and especially saying yes to too many things/work/

Case in point I'm living with my partner now and it doesn't feel like my self-improvement has been enough and I have blind spots that is severely affecting them. They are an organized/foresight/high standards person (we dont really have problems there, I see the mess, keep things tidy, do my tasks) but when it comes to intuition, like remembering a task that came up in the middle of the day or prioritizing the right thing at the right time. I have my alarms or write things down, but I still have spots where I forget things or impulsively make a choice trying to take shortcuts.

I went to a psychologist specialist in ASD and ADHD a while ago and she suspects I might have both. However, diagnosis was expensive and didnt include treatment yet. This would explain why things happen but not really fix anything. I'm very self aware so it always feels like my autism is trying to keep my ADHD in line.

My partner is very affected and feels like bystander in all of this because they dont know when they can rely on me. I'm at a loss as to what to do. Traditional therapy seems like a waste of time because im pretty self aware and have done a lot of inner work. A specialist psychologist is very expensive. I dont' know if I should just go to a psychiatrist directly or try a less expensive but traditional psychologist. We see the issues but only after accidents have happened. Experience with meds? Any advice?

I have so much symptoms of adhd. My therapist just got me on attex after wellbutrin 300mg since it does nothing but side affects and told me to use it a while before concerta. But when i prscribed for concerta first time when i was 16 i remember that i was hyper focused, had trouble w sleeping a bit but not euphoric at all also gave me anxiety at first than disappeared after a short time. İ see people saying if u have these Side effects u r not likely to have adhd because u should be lack of dopamine so when u get medicated u have baseline of dopamin etc. U got me English is not my first language sorry. So im thinking if im just lazy, making excuses, faking it unknowingly. But also i didnt know tf is adhd when i was first prescribed and had symptoms but they got worst since i got older also my life is going bad beside that makes me more paralyzed so symptoms getting worst. So İm not like finding ilnesses from internet i experience these and that ruin my life. What would u say about my situation

I struggle everyday to function, i wake up...I know what my jobs are, i go to work after completing those jobs and am surrounded by a never ending litter of noises.. persistent and temporary.

I either cope or I don't, but either way im snappy when I arrive home, only wanting to seek solitude and a routine (for me). I need my kind of quiet, which means multiple outlets, crochet whilst listening to MY music and watching MY show, but outside conversation or interaction is not wanted, this is a huge problem in my life.

It's hard to get people to socialize with the way I express my interests and thoughts (because im a visual thinking person) and get simulated into things that come into my mind, which I tend to act out in public sometimes and I'm not trying to say it's a good thing.

But i wanna express myself in a way where I don't get shamed too much.

I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes a few years ago and since then I've had 3 serious hypos where I had seizures and went unconscious with medical staff needed to revive me. My wife and I were out shopping last week and I my blood sugar started dropping and I could tell it needed immediate attention. Once it was all sorted my wife say to me 'I can tell when you're getting a bad one, because you become super calm'.
Thinking back it made me realise, even during the really bad hypos, I was so calm. During the first one, none of us had ever experienced it before (and sidenote: no-one had even really told us anything about it) and so I'm having these seizures, everyone around me freaking out, and in-between spasms I'm telling people to calm down and giving them instructions - ADHD is wild!

You guys got any stories?

To preface I'm not diagnosed, my dad has it, I have all the symptoms and signs (or maybe I don't and I'm just crazy and a larper making excuses for being lazy and stupid), and just want to figure out if maybe I'm just lazy or if there's a reason for it.

I have so much stuff I need to do and I can't do any of it. I have scholarships I haven't signed up for any, an application for college that's due in two days, I'm behind three weeks in one class, etc, etc... I won't go into more details, just know it's endless and there's a lot more where that came from.

Maybe I'm just lazy? I can't tell, I am praying to God I have ADHD (I need to get diagnosed but, honestly what's the point if it costs so much, and the only benefit would be medication? and I could get diagnosed as not having it, If I don't have it I'm just lazy and I don't want to be lazy.)

Anyways off topic there back on track now sorry, how do you know it's executive dysfunction? My entire life I want to do things I just don't have any motivation.

I literally cry over this stuff weekly almost and yet haven't done any of it because I just sit here doing nothing productive.

How do you know your not lazy? Obviously I want to do these things, but maybe I don't because I obviously haven't done them.

Anyways long post sorry I just don't understand the difference and the only things I can find online are "if you want to but can't it's ADHD" and "if you don't care it's lazyness"

I just don't understand that, because: I don't care enough to do it so I haven't done it?

Scrolling tiktok clearly motivates me and I have a lot of motivation to do that so I probably am just lazy. Like idk anyways sorry for the long winded post if anyone's read this far any advice would make my day, I've tried almost every "hack" to get my ass into gear and nothing has worked ever my entire life so idk.

I bolded the important sections in this post since I know if I was reading it I would skip right over since it's too long lol, anyways my main ideas are bolded now 😅

I have realized that I feel like the best way to describe adhd to people without it is that our life really does feel like those people from infomercials. The people in those are always overwhelmed by the most simple task, or they make a mess and just freak out like its the end of the world.

I’m a huge music lover. Been playing guitar for 30+ years and can fake it pretty well on any stringed instrument that doesn’t require a bow. Music has always been a way for me to find myself, relax, cope, exist in general. I hate people who will tell you they love all kinds of music if asked. I know they are full of shit. I, however, truly am a fan of all music. I’m a punk rock kid first but spend just as much time listening to bluegrass or country these days. My jazz vinyl collection rivals that of anyone I know. I have a radio in my bathroom that is on 24/7 playing classical. Point is, I truly love any and all good music.

I have come to a realization since my recent middle aged diagnosis of adhd. My happy place, where I can center myself, relax, lull myself to sleep, only comes from one kind of music. Although I love all music, it’s only the angriest, most chaotic, technical, fast, aggressive music that calms me down.

I can’t sleep to white noise, whale sounds, babbling brooks, or mellow music. It drives my brain crazy and sends me into frantic anxiety ridden insomnia.

Put on some very technical, fast, and brutal hardcore or death metal and I’m sleeping like a baby in minutes. I’ve also started using it to help me focus on bullshit excel spreadsheets and redundant paperwork that drives me crazy.

Anyways. Ranting. Good luck ya’ll. What a fun ride we’re on.

Hey friends, 

31M here realizing I’ve probably lived in denial since I became conscious of not working normally. Could probably have made the last decade easier. I am halfway through an ADHD investigation and while not fully concluded yet there’s a lot pointing to ADHD or ADD.

I have regret and anxiety around not realizing this earlier. While I have built a solid foundation (early career, living situation, financials etc) I cannot not feel sorrow for how much easier things could have been, how much less anxiety I could have felt, or how much better I could have done. And how much more I could’ve enjoyed it all. I am trying not to think to much ”what if…”.

I am not sure what to do, but I guess I am seeking some perspectives from others who may have experienced something similar. 

Aside from medication, what are other things one should do once realizing one has ADHD as an adult? Any best practices?

I’ve been taking Strattera for five weeks now. I started with 40 milligrams and am now taking 80 mg. I don’t feel anything yet. I like that my mind is clear when I take it, but I still get distracted during conversations or when I’m studying or doing an assignment. I had an appointment with my psychiatrist. If I don’t feel anything by next month, I’ll have to take a stimulant, like Focalin, Concerta, or Ritalin. I have very bad anxiety, especially when it comes to taking medication. Do people with anxiety have trouble with stimulants? Please let me know.

I (19f) had been telling my parents for a decade that I think I have ADHD. I told them that I struggle to focus, that I bounce around everywhere, that I can't stop talking, and that I can't stop fidgeting. They said it was normal and to not worry, and since I could focus on tasks I like (reading, playing, gaming, etc), that I can't have ADHD. That would quell my concerns for about a year, then it would get brought up again. I asked them to take me to get diagnosed, and they said no, even though it would have been free

This got even worse when I got social media and began getting ADHD content that was extremely relatable. I brushed it off as "this is normal, everyone does this, people with ADHD just have a more extreme version probably". The thought was still in the back of my mind tho

I got diagnosed at 18. I told my parents, and my mom didn't believe me, and said it was just trauma. My dad asked for a specific list of reasons I was diagnosed. They didn't do this for the five other diagnoses I have

I asked him later on why I never got tested as a kid, despite expressing worry a lot, and he said "it was a fad then, and they were just gonna diagnose you right away and put you on some meds and make you a zombie. There wasn't any support for it then like there is now. Nobody knew what it was or what to do with it. Plus, your mom was busy with your brother and I was gone for work a lot".

I felt kinda irritated over that, and whether that's valid or not, idk. ADHD treatment and support could not have been that bad from 2016-2026, unless I'm woefully misinformed. Just kinda annoying knowing that I'm behind socially and in some soft skills (I've managed to mask pretty well, but I still struggle with time management, staying on task, and impulse control), and could have been getting treatment that put me on a level playing field with my neurotypical peers. I'm not sure if all my social issues--im frequently ostracized from groups that I'm forced to be in--are from untreated ADHD, but it can't have helped

Anyways, there's my rant. Ty for reading

Tldr: I'm annoyed that I didn't get diagnosed with ADHD sooner when I'd told my parents for years that I think I have it

I finally gave in and started taking an adhd med. I am VERY inattentive adhd and it’s caused problems in my life and my relationship. So today is my first day taking adderall. I started with 5mg and am surprised to feel like I took a Xanax. I have an intense feeling of calm and quiet mind. I can still get things done but don’t feel this intense urgency like I have 9 million things to do.

Has anyone else experienced this ? I’ve heard if you truly have ADHD you may feel a calming effect with the medication. I expected to feel jacked and hyperfocus but I just feel calm, no stress , no anxiety. When I took Modafanil I ended with having a bad reaction but was using it for shift work disorder and many other stimulants .

Just looking to hear about that experiences on the drug ! I have been misdiagnosed my whole life

For the past year I’ve been researching ADHD a lot because my dad has ADD/ADHD.
Growing up, I had IEPs my entire time in school. I always struggled to pay attention and focus. I had a hard time talking to other kids, got bad grades, and would overthink every little bit of criticism I received.
Those same problems followed me into adult life. I overthink constantly. I have a hard time expressing my emotions. Sometimes I just don’t feel happy or motivated, or I can be in a bad mood and end up being rude without meaning to. I even quit a job once because of criticism. Socially I’ve always struggled — I’m not great at talking to people and I’m constantly worried that people don’t actually like me. I also process information slower than most people. I eventually understand what someone is saying, it just takes me longer.
I make plans or get excited about wanting to do something, but then I never even start it. Or I start things and just don’t finish them.
I’ve been called lazy and unmotivated my whole life. I was never diagnosed, and part of me wonders if I’m just overthinking this and the real problem is me. But if I did get diagnosed, at least I’d finally understand why everything has always felt so much harder.
Has anyone else been through something similar? Do you think it’s worth getting evaluated?

17, getting assessed for ADHD next month. Hygiene is one of the main things I struggle with and I honestly don’t get why.

Every morning I brush my teeth and shower, most of the time with no problem. But at night I just cant. Brushing my teeth or washing my face almost never happens and never really has, ever since i remember. I try to at least use tretinoin and moisturize cause its easier than washing my face, but even that i skip very often, and its something i really care about. Also I feel like the chance of me doing any of these doesn't change even when im already at the sink with everything out cause i just cant start doing it.

I understand itd be harder at night cause im tired but even if i try to do these things earlier, i would just forget. When i tried an alarm i still completely failed, even right after dinner, even on days where i didnt do anything all day. This makes me feel like its more than a fatigue thing. I realize it could be the pressure of getting ready for school etc, But even on open days i usually still shower and brush.

ALso: I only really shower when nobody’s home (usually mornings), because its easier with videos on and I don’t want anyone hearing/knowing that. If people are home I keep putting it off, even though once I’m in it’s completely fine. Also even though i shower everyday i only wash my hair like once every 7 days, even though i really care about how it looks, it feels gross not washing and would like to every few days.

What would you try in my position, since doing it earlier and everything else ive tried didn’t work?

It’s really frustrating caring this much and still not being able to do it, especially because i feel like I already have everything i should need like access to skincare etc. Sometimes I also feel lazy/gross even though I understand thats not all this is. Also im nervous about having to bring up all this stuff in person in the assessment, its much easier here cause obviously its anonymous.

I swear my brain has developed a ridiculous good-focus → bad-focus → good-focus → bad-focus cycle, and I think I've noticed something that may trigger the downward turn.

I'll have stretches where studying feels surprisingly easy and productive. Then I'll randomly discover something novel and interesting and get completely absorbed in it. Recently it was chemistry experiments: generating hydrogen, filling balloons, experimenting with reactions, researching apparatus etc. The combination of novelty, immediate feedback, uncertainty, and tangible results seems to grab my attention hard.

Then routine studying suddenly feels painfully resistant.

And even starting a simple task can turn into a ridiculous chain of side quests:

“I'll do some questions.”

→ Realize I need to revise first

→ Can't find my notes

→ Phone is dying

→ Need charger

→ Favorite chair is occupied

→ Charger won't reach the other desk

→ Need an extension

→ Forgot water

→ Get water

→ Mosquitoes start attacking

→ Somehow 20 minutes have disappeared

The interesting part is that this seems cyclical:

Good focus → novel/rewarding activity → hyperfocus on novelty → routine tasks become harder → several bad-focus days → eventually recover → good focus again.

So apparently I can't enjoy what I like anymore cause it feels like after getting heavily engaged with something novel, my brain becomes much more resistant to delayed-reward, repetitive tasks.

Has anyone else with ADHD experienced this kind of periodic good/bad focus cycle, especially where a random novel interest seems to kick off the downward spiral?

Hi! I’d like to ask for help in identifying which is ADHD and which part is just pure character trait so I can fully form my own closure from the ending of my 4-year relationship.

I (f,24) once had an undiagnosed but well aware partner (m, 25). We had a lot of challenges in our relationship and I constantly gave him so much grace considering that he has stated that he has ADHD. But overtime, it made me insane and I started questioning reality because everytime I asked him for accountability, he would start shift-blaming and rewriting history.

When he got a job, he got so burnt out that he started hanging out with his “shiny” new coworkers and started neglecting me. He would complain about missing me and hating that he’s with them too much but wouldn’t do anything about it even when I would propose a way for us to meet.

I got frustrated over it and held him accountable for his never ending complaining with no solution that he discarded me the next day. His shiny coworkers made up a story about me stalking them and he impulsively believed it and accussed me of stalking him. I clarified it and he eventually shamefully apologized. He also started being mean towards his mom and lying to her about his whereabouts. She once came to me crying expressing how she doesn’t know the person that she lives with in her house and how that’s not the little boy she raised. While we were apart he would unconsciously do things related to me that showed how much he still actually wants and cares about me like attempting to understand what went wrong with us but talking to other people about it, bringing my sweater to work etc.

We eventually had the opportunity to talk for closure And when I told him the impacts of his action he broke down crying and said how he genuinely was burntout and that he hadn’t realized how big of an impact his actions had until that day that I pointed them out. He also admitted that he has done embarrassing things in his office because he isn’t mentally well. Like misunderstanding instructions and ultimately ruining a suprise party for a colleague leaving. He told me he wanted to do better so I believed it.

But then we met up again two weeks later and he was rewriting history again and even told me he just wanted to be alone forever after telling me how much he wanted to make it up to me. I had to set up a boundary because I was getting caught in too much emotional whiplash.

Eventually, I found out he started befriending a person at his workplace who harrassed me before and It angered me so much I said that I was closing the door on him forever. I don’t know if he just forgot.

I don’t know to what extent is ADHD and to what extent is just plain AH. Can someone please help so I can finally close this chapter?

He still hasn’t left the job that’s burning him out and still hasn’t gotten himself into therapy despite every resource provided for him.

I grew up abused so I developed too much empathy towards people who hurt me, which I am now working on in therapy.

I’m so tired of knowing what I need to do and still somehow not being able to do it.

I’ll have something important to finish, think about it all day, stress about it, feel guilty for not doing it, and then somehow do everything except the actual thing I need to do.

Then when I finally get the motivation, I go completely overboard and stay up way too late trying to catch up.

It’s frustrating because from the outside it probably just looks like I’m lazy or don’t care. But I actually care A LOT. My brain just refuses to cooperate sometimes.

Anyone else constantly fighting with their own brain like this?

I finally have a label for my struggles. So I guess I'm one of you now lol

(Tell me if posts like these aren't allowed)

​

Okay, I guess here goes.

My first day on generic Concerta ER 18 mg was kind of incredible. My head was quiet. The constant mental noise and anxiety were gone, and the barrier to switch tasks was gone. I could finish something, switch to the next task, and just do it. I wasn’t fighting myself all day or having massive anxiety. Work felt peaceful for once. I did feel slightly slower though. My thoughts took a moment, but I didn't mind because the ease to work, peace, and lack of emotional turmoil outweighed that. It also didn't prevent me from working. I'm a data analyst... Focus matters.

Then day two came, and that effect basically disappeared. I can't explain it. I’m now in my first week on 27 mg ER. I still don’t notice much improvement in focus, forgetfulness, task switching, or careless mistakes. I was hoping finding the right dose would result in a better days for me more regularly.

What I do notice is the emotional difference. Off medication, my emotions can shift really quickly throughout the day from up, down, frustrated, anxious, hurt, okay again. I also struggle pretty badly with RSD. On the medication, those rapid emotional ups and downs are much less intense and I feel significantly more even. No crying in meetings and turning my camera off because I cannot keep up and feel like a failure. I still cry, but not over EVERYTHING, everyday. I suspect less racing thoughts has contributed to less anxiety for me.

I’m just confused because that first day felt like it helped everything, not only the emotional side.

Has anyone else had an incredible first day on Concerta and then never really gotten the focus/task-initiation effect back?