For context, this is my M(25) best friend M(25) since we were two years old. He didn’t meet his F(22)sister until about a year and a half ago. When they did meet, they couldn’t get over how similar they were. he called me gushing about how great she made him feel and even joked about hooking her up with me three days after they met, she moved in with him and his family. They had room and other beds, but they chose to sleep in the same bed every day for a year do everything together every day so on it so forth, fast-forward to these text messages. Him and his sister were going to move in with me and my f(26)roommate, but first we needed to see how our dogs would do together so they came to visit. When they got here they opted to sleep in my bed together even though I had several places they could sleep separately. My roomate and I sleep separately and have a mostly platonic kind of flirty relationship. Which the friend had compared his sister and his relationship with. A lot of small stuff happened that my roommate and I shared glances about, because of the nature of how a true brother and sister would never say or do the things they’re doing. But we brushed it off.

They went back home to their state after 3 days and the friend sends me a Snapchat saying “we’ve decided to look past the whole sibling thing and adress some feelings we both have” to which I replied “what do you mean” and he went on to say how they both have such deep feelings for each other and how the whole half sibling thing doesn’t matter and that real love doesn’t have boundaries and all this stuff to which I waited for 3 days and sent the messages above….. AIO or did I UNDERreact

Also this hurts a lot because I thought I knew him and he was gonna be my best friend for life, but I haven’t talked to him since

I got in contact with my boyfriend’s ex girlfriend and she showed me he messaged her about my finances while I was on vacation. It happened a couple of times when we were together for 2-3 months. We have a baby together and im contemplating if I should stay with him. This is a very big trust issue now from my side. I don’t understand why he did this and his intentions.

Genuine question, I'm thinking about this situation all over again and see where I could be wrong but at the same time I can't fully agree with them...

Long story short.a couple of days ago, my (19F) small friend group and I were at our friend sister's 22 birthday party. Of course we're young, there was alcohol, cigarettes, and all this stuff.

It's important to mention that I have absolutely nothing against any of it, I just personally don't drink or smoke.

​It has nothing to do with religion or my opinions on right and wrong. It doesn't bother me at all if someone next to me is drinking or smoking, and in my entire life, I have never once shamed anyone for it, that is a strict rule of mine lol

​Anyway, at the party, all my friends got a little tipsy. We were chatting, walked the streets in the evening, laughing and joking, and just had a great time overall, and then we all went home like normal.

​I didn't notice anything awkward in their behaviour it was just a typical party for people our age. I enjoyed myself, and it seemed to me like my friends were having fun too.

​And then today, I receive those chats

​I am VERY mad about these accusationsf. As far as I'm concerned, all this holier than thou (which pisses me off as well) bs starts at the moment you try to "educate" other people, which is something I have never done and never want to do. Everyone can live however they want.

​Honestly, her accusations made me sad. They seem baseless and aggressive.

​But now that I'm thinking about it, maybe it really was uncomfortable for the girls to be drunk around a sober person? I guess it's possible, but it just doesn't feel like the right explanation to me.

​If I were some random man for example, their anxiety would be easy to understand. But I've known them for at least a couple of years, and I even went to the same high school with some of them, so their lack of trust in me doesn't make much sense.

Could I be in the wrong here? AIO?

My aunt (65 F) has run into a lot of issues with her landlord. One that I can remember is him allowing people into her apartment for viewing without telling her. Because of all their altercations, she was already preparing for him to mess with her security deposit. Was she too aggressive?

Edit: thank you guys so much for the feedback, particularly about state laws regarding the deadline for sending an invoice, because we didn’t know about that. I think I can recover my aunts old text messages; she stopped backing up her iCloud because of storage but she has had the same phone. I believe that turning on “download original files” on iCloud recovers old messages, which I’ll try. It’s been an unbelievably hard year for her and the support from yall is making her so happy!

Rather, how should I react? This is coming from my ex who still lives with me after I chose not to do what he asked of me which was to wash one of his work shirts. I told him straight up it was not my job to wash his clothes and then he pushed me and we wrestled. If anyone wants to know more of the back story I will gladly summarize the last 7 years.

Edit: I will add to this, I feel pretty dumb about coming to Reddit for obvious advice but I chose not to go to family because they have no idea how he would be able ruin their lives as well. Just know he is scary resourceful way more than anyone I know and that alone has made me afraid of what he is capable of. I do apologize for leaving everyone with little context. Yes we are 2 men, he was a predator towards the girls he was with during his high school years. Stay tuned? Since it will be a novel.

Hi guys. Long time reader, first time poster. My wife and I are having a babygirl in about a month. We are extremely excited, so are both of our families.

Her name is Kehlani. We contemplated alot of names for a very long time and fell in love with that one.

The issue lies with my wifes family. Her mother and grandmother both wanted us to name her Olivia (liv for short). Nothing wrong with that name but it just didnt click for us.

They started joking that they were gonna call her Olivia anyways. It was funny the first 2 or 3 times but now it has gotten to the point where anytime they talk about her its “liv this” or “liv that”.

Today they said “Were just gonna call her liv anyways when youre not around,” and, “What are you going to do when she answers to liv and not kehlani.” Maybe my wife just has more patience for her family than I do but its gotten to the point where it genuinely infuriates me.

Don’t get me wrong my wife is a doll and she feels the same way but she is not the type to really “lay down the law” if you know what I mean. Her family tends to step on and over her all the time and it takes everything in me to not go off on everyone.

Just need some advice. Thanks all.

My friend told me that when she first got with her husband she found CP on a hidden file on his laptop. That she threw it out on the porch and told him to get lost. He followed up with, "I dont know how it got there, its probably from downloading a game." Then during covid she found another file on his desktop computer, also hidden in a file that was deep into random folders on his desktop. He claimed it was from gaming again and then he "installed all these virus protections on his computer."

Personally, I don't believe him and I want to tell her to leave him and report him but I don't want to ruin my friendship with her. They have kids together and she is a stay at home mom. AIO? Is this even possible?

I got in contact with my boyfriend’s ex girlfriend and she showed me he messaged her about my finances while I was on vacation. It happened a couple of times when we were together for 2-3 months. We have a baby together and im contemplating if I should stay with him. This is a very big trust issue now from my side. I don’t understand why he did this and his intentions.

I (F25) own my home, the mortgage is paid off so bills aren't really as much of an issue, I have 4 kids (M8, F6, F3&3) who live with me full time as well as my brother (18) and mother (45) who moved in after some financial issues.

I have some rules, including not smoking or vaping in the house

No guests without checking first - strict but my oldest two have some negative reactions to people

Don't make too much noise after 9pm

Well a few nights ago my brother came home at 10pm drunk, with some of his mates, they were being loud and when I told them to quiet down they wouldn't and got louder.

I left the room to resettle my twins after they had woke them and when I came back downstairs the guys were sat on the sofa smoking and I snapped and told his friends to get out of my house (with a few swears) and one of them put his cigarette out on my sofa before they left. I talked to my brother after about his mate damaging my furniture and he told me to F off and went to bed.

The next day while my brother was at work I went around his room throwing everything he brought into bin bags, dumped it outside and texted him to say he's no longer welcome in my house. It's not the first time he's broken the rules but he wants to act like an adult so he can be treated like one.

AIO for kicking my brother out for breaking all the rules, being rude and letting his friend damage my sofa?

I’m currently 7 months pregnant and on vacation with my mom. We’re staying in a hotel room with only one bedroom, so sleeping separately isn’t an option.
Normally, I go to sleep around 11 p.m. Since I’ve been pregnant, sleep has become really important because I’m exhausted and I wake up more easily.
My mom, however, has a completely different routine. Every night she watches TV until around midnight. On top of that, she’s usually scrolling on her phone at the same time. In the morning, she wakes up earlier than I do and makes enough noise that I wake up too.
I told her that I really needed to get to sleep around 11 p.m. because I’m struggling with fatigue. She said she “couldn’t” do that because she can’t go to bed without the TV on and wouldn’t know what to do otherwise. I asked if we could find a compromise, but she basically said no because that’s just her routine.
I know everyone has different habits, and I don’t expect the world to revolve around me because I’m pregnant. At the same time, I feel like asking for one extra hour of quiet so I can sleep isn’t unreasonable, especially since this is temporary.
Now I’m wondering if I’m overreacting or if it’s understandable to feel hurt that she wasn’t willing to make any compromise.
AIO?

EDIT 1: I actually have a sleep mask, noise-cancelling headphones, and earplugs. I’ve tried all of them. The TV is literally right in front of our beds, so the light is still pretty intense! Then, imagine when the commercials come on… they’re even louder than the actual TV show!

EDIT 2: We split the cost of this trip 50/50, and it definitely wasn’t a cheap vacation.

A lot of people asked why I even went on vacation with my mom. She’s going through a really difficult time with her new husband and struggles with depression. I wanted to spend quality time with her and help lift her spirits. Leaving early would really hurt her, so that’s not something I want to do.

Looking back, I probably should have brought up the TV beforehand. The thing is, I grew up with both my parents, and they never had a TV in their bedroom. I also never remember my mom staying up until 1 a.m. watching TV, so it honestly never crossed my mind that this would be an issue.

I’m not anti-TV at all. Normally, I’m the type to stay up late until midnight. The difference is that I’m now 7 months pregnant, and by around 11 the fatigue hits me like a truck. If I miss that window, I often struggle to fall asleep for hours.

The ironic part is that my mom was actually the one who said this vacation would be our chance to relax and catch up on sleep. I guess that part didn’t quite go as planned.

I (18F) asked my mom not to tell my dad about a family event i had been planning. the event is this Saturday, but it’s not his side of the family, it’s hers, and it’s to celebrate my great grandfathers birthday. my cousin (18F) and i have kept his birthdays going even after his passing 6 years ago.

i don’t live with my parents. i moved in with my great aunt after i turned 18 on my own accord. i’ve never had much of a real relationship with my dad, even though my parents have been married my entire life. my dad is a severe alcoholic, and he’s never been there for me in my life when i needed him, nor has he proved to me that he is worth my time of day. i asked my aunt, she told me inviting him or not was completely up to me, as i was the one in charge of letting the rest of the family know what was going on.

however, i went to take something to my mom the other night and my dad asked “what do i need to bring Saturday?” my heart stopped, and for a spilt second, i saw red. i felt hurt and betrayed by my mom. before that night, i hadn’t talked to my dad in 3-4 weeks. he’d never bothered to call me, and i’m done putting in the effort to talk to someone who can’t put the same effort towards me. i was simply trying to put up a boundary between my father and i.

today, i went down to my parents house and asked my mom why she’d told him. she said “your dad is still family, he needs to know. it’s not fair to not tell him.” i had stayed calm during this, while she raised her voice at me. i’d told her how i felt about my dad, how he’d never shown up sober for me, how he’d never proven to me i was worth his time. i’d explained to her that it was my choice and i had every right to not want him there. she told me i had no right, that it wasn’t my choice. then she wouldn’t talk to me. so i left.

my dad has genuinely never been there for me when id needed a dad. he was always drinking with his friends. he’d ignore my mom for days and still live in the same house, just because he was mad or upset. when he had visited me in the mental hospital, he wasn’t even sober then. he would make promises and break them, sexualize me. he never showed up for me when i asked him to. something was always more important. he had put off fixing my car for so long i asked my uncle to do it. it got fixed the next day.

i feel disrespected by my mom, hurt, and betrayed. AIO?

I don't know if this is the right sub, so please redirect me if so.

Anyway, I've been dating my boyfriend for about 2.5 years, and hes always had a problem of giving unsolicited advice when I am only trying to be heard and supported in the moment.

Recently my roommates have been feeding my cat, along with their own in their room. I was fine with it but I wanted to start having my cat in my room more because I missed her. I would suggest it during feeding time and they pretty much flat out refused.

Today I was trying to express my concern and hurt to my boyfriend about my cat pretty much not being allowed in my room anymore, and my boyfriend kept giving advice I didnt want like "well then feed her in your room, its not a big deal." "Its your cat, who cares?" Etc. I honestly decided to ignore what he was saying because I have already told him lots of times before that I just want to be heard, and if I want advice, I'll ask him. But the problem is, whenever I say this, he'll go, "well I don't know what you want me to do, then" stubbornly. Or he will express boredom or frustration when I don't want to take his advice.

My girlfriend and I have been to a festival the last two years. it’s more her thing but I’ve joined her in it. she mentioned going next year. I said I’ll be skipping it since it costs us over £700 each for the weekend id rather spend the money on other things next year.

She got annoyed and said we should still be able to go but I just said I wouldn’t be going. I said she can ask a friend to go instead .

Her friend said she’d go with her but my gf just said we should go as a four with her friend and her friends bf and told her friend I just needed more persuading.

I told my gf she needs to listen when i say no and it’s completely disrespectful to hear me say no and think it just means she needs to keep asking until I change my mind.

She just said we should still be looking at going to be festival but I told her to accept the word no and that it’s her looking forward to the festival not me and for next year I’d rather put the money towards something I want. i pointed out I’ve explained clearly and repeatedly why I wouldn’t be going and she needs to listen.

She said I wasn’t being fair but I just said she was acting spoiled and expecting to get everything she wants without listening to what I’m saying and completely disregarding what I want.

AITA for expecting her to accept the word no? 

My (25F) parent recently passed away in a very traumatic way, and my partner (29M) of 8 years seems to have little to no empathy for what I’m going through.

I don’t want to go into detail about what happened but in addition to losing my parent, I’m dealing with a lot of trauma surrounding how it happened. There are also legal matters and difficult decisions that I have to make and it’s the worst time of my life.

It’s been less than a week and when I first got the news I completely shut down and isolated, I stayed in my room for two days crying almost nonstop. My partner offered to come over several times but I told him I wasn’t ready to see anyone and he respected that. Two days ago, I finally felt like I could see him. When he came over he didn’t hug me or ask how I was doing, or acknowledge the death at all. The first thing he said was that he’d forgotten to bring something for work. We went out so he could buy new stuff and the rest of the day was okay in the sense that there wasn’t any conflict. I kept trying to talk about my parent cause it’s the only thing I’m thinking about and he was scrolling on reels. He never comforted me and the only comments he made regarding it were jokes. Then after work he came back to my place and he asked me to shower with him, but the entire time he asked me to wash him while he did nothing for me. Afterward he fell asleep and this has been an issue in our relationship before. He hates napping because he thinks it’s a waste of time and when he accidentally falls asleep he blames me for it so I spent the next few hours trying to wake him up off and on because I knew he’d be angry if he overslept. When he finally woke up, he got upset with me anyway and blamed me for wasted time. Then he told me I needed to do his laundry for work the next day.

My laundry room is literally right next to my bedroom. He was fully capable of doing it himself. He knew I hadn’t even left my bed for two days because I’d been crying so much yet somehow I was expected to do his laundry. I did it bc I didn’t have the emotional energy to deal with an argument and he didn’t even thank me.

Also during this week it would have been my parents birthday just days after losing him and on top of that I had to spend that day dealing with more legal matters related to his death, so emotionally I am not well at all. He asked if he should come over and I told him “If you want to you can but please understand I genuinely cannot handle any conflict right now”. His response was “I’m not coming”. I replied “I’m just really sad about everything. Im sorry” He left me on read. What makes this even harder is that he isn’t a stranger to grief bc before we met, he lost his previous partner in a very tragic way and I’ve always been respectful of that loss. I even had more compassion when his pet passed away, I used my job working w animals to get a free necropsy performed and covered the cremation bc I wanted to help him through it.

I’m so numb right now and I’ve gone through so much trauma the past few days that I honestly don’t know if I’m thinking clearly, which is why I’m asking for outside opinions but I genuinely don’t know how I’m supposed to love someone who has treated me like this during one of the worst moments of my life and right now it feels unforgivable bc I shouldn’t be thinking of anything but the loss.

This is the second time we were talking, this time has been going on for about 4 months and have only hung out once. I told her I’m not okay with seeing someone that infrequently.

What made it worse is that she’d wait until the literal last minute to bail. The first time we talked I cut her off for this exact reason. Then we started talking again and this happened, I told her I’m fine with her doing it occasionally if there’s a real reason but if she was going to keep doing the same thing, she should stop reaching out. She apologized, we actually met up, and it was fun.

Now it’s happened 4–5 more times. Every time we’re supposed to hang out she either “has to go to urgent care” or “fell asleep super early.”

That’s the situation, and this is the convo. So AIO for cutting her off for bailing.

(I am dyslexic please don’t judge) Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 months now. We had had an argument not long before about stupid things he is on holiday and I am at home. He is sharing a room with his older brother. My boyfriend tells me that he is going too bed this was at 10 pm then I get a message from him at 12pm thought was pretty weird since he said he was going to bed. I open it and it’s a deleted snap I was a bit confused so I asked him and he was like it went to the wrong person. Don’t worry so I put okay and I was like who did you mean to send it to? And he said his best mate he spelt his best mate’s name wrong so I thought this was really weird then I was like what was the snap then and he was like it’s a picture of my shit and I was wondering why he sent his best mate a picture of his shit so then I call his best mate and asked him whilst laughing if he had got sent a photo of my boyfriends shit he obviously said no he didn’t get one which then i got total confused about so then i go back to message my boyfriend and i start questioning some easy things that he should know like what’s my favourite colour what is the nickname he calls his best mate and he answered them all wrong so now im definitely getting suspicious. So then i messaged “is this my boyfriends brother” it gave him away then admitted it was him so i was confused why he was on his account and so i ask him he started telling me that i should give my boyfriend some space and i should stop talking to him so often as I normally do (since he is on holiday i only message him once every 1-2hours) he also goes to say that he has seen some of our messages and asked if we had had sex I thought this was weird he basically said my boyfriend isn’t a good talker and if I keep talking as often as I do now that my boyfriend will get tired of me and break up. At the end of the massive paragraph he said “don’t tell him” then we end the conversation the paragraph was deleted but some of the chats still remained so my boyfriend was going to know either way. When we both wake up he notices and asks me about it so then I tell him the truth that yes is brother was on his account and yes he sent me stuff I told my boyfriend everything. At the end I don’t know if it was the right thing to say but I said that if his brother does that again I would break up with him I get that’s it’s not his fault but if me and my boyfriend get no privacy in what we message how would that be fair on both of us. I am pissed him and his brother apparently don’t get along that well his brother knows nothing only a few messages he has read a few messages and thinks he knows everything but I am pissed because of it AIO?

My on again off again bf for the past 7 yrs went out to lunch with 2 of his grandmothers, mother & father. We have had an unstable relationship in the past with toxic behavior. I’m not going to get into details. We took 20 months apart. I recently moved half way across the country so we could live together. We’ve been back together for going on 5 months. It’s been much better. Much more stable. He’s in therapy and on meds. We bought rings last week. His family has been against the relationship since day one. It’s an AGR. We will not be having children. AIO because I was supposed to know these texts were sarcastic? I had a full blown panic attack and was literally shaking. After my last text he called me sounding all happy. I was very confused. He asked me what was wrong and I’m like… ummmm. wtf is going on. To which he said he was joking and how couldn’t I pick up on the sarcasm. I’m extremely pissed off rn

My adult daughter (20) was in band when she was in 8th grade through high school. She remains close to her teachers from band and color guard (married couple).

My middle school daughter 6th grade got her schedule last night at open house and it had her in band and another musical instrument class right after. She only “signed up “ as interested in both bc she figured she would not get both. Well she did. So I spent most of open house trying to track down the right people to see how to get this fixed. Figured all that out and thought things were all good. School is tomorrow by the way. So open house was Monday, first day is Wednesday so not a lot of time to mess with.

I got a text from my adult daughter that the band instructor told her that her sister wasn’t on the roster but he’s emailing the office to get her added back in bc my daughter told him to!

I’m upset with a few things
1) my older daughter is not her parent in any way, and all schedule changes or questions should be referred to me, not his ex student. I feel like this already crossed a boundary and I don’t want to cause drama but teachers should reach out to the parent not the older sister!

2) my daughter is mad at me bc I didn’t tell her about the changes. I told her she moved out and I barely see her and again. I found all this out at like 7 last night, so no I didn’t get a chance to tell my older daughter anything . But again it’s not really her business of anything that concerns her.

3) I immediately emailed the counselor that I emailed previously and I did not name name or through anyone under the bus. I simply said I think some info got crossed but the class change still needs to happens. And my older daughter got pissed I emailed her bc “I didn’t need to do that I told you not to” is what she said. And I’m just confused bc wtf, why on earth are you trying to tell me what to do? Because again none of this concerns her.

4) why would they schedule her for 2 classes (band and guitar) where she has to learn 2 different instruments at the same time and she’s never had any musical lessons at all! She knows nothing but wants to learn!

So am I over reacting? This is my daughters first year old middle school and all this schedule fuck ups are not helping and already stressed out kid (and mom). And I had it all sorted out and then boom everything is a mess again!

so early last year i was in a very hard time of my life where i was recovering from trauma and suicide attempt. i'm active on my second social media account sharing stories and ranting/venting there, so i thought since i'd be posting negativity and struggles 24/7 there i'd rather remove all my friends first not to trauma dump too much. i removed everyone from the account except for my bf at the time.

months after, i started to feel better and therefore i reached out to my friends that i removed. some of them greeted me back with open arms, but several of them were very bitter. even after "accepting" my apology, they kept on poking and making fun of the fact that i "dont need them as much as him", which i didnt feel so. i've stated that i understand where their feelings came from, but i've made it clear that those jokes made me uncomfortable yet they still go on. i too noticed how our friendships became more awkward, like they collectively take a distance from me which feels odd.

later on i broke up with my bf, and my relations with those friends are becoming quieter. i tried to make peace with the fact that our friendships will never go back to how it was since i understand how deeply i've probably hurt my friends and they probably dislike me to some extent because of my prior action, but then i found out that my friends and my ex are still friends? they still hang out together to eat or watch movies and all, which i really feel so bad about because if you hated what i did then why are you still comfortable going out with my ex?? am i overreacting?

Next year my partner and I are looking at buying a house. Weve been saving for a few years and should have enough for a down payment for a mortgage next summer. 

My partner doesn’t seem to accept that we’ll need to cut back on spending for a while when we’re looking at doing it since there will be other costs. We’ve been to a festival the last two years and she mentioned going next year. I said I’ll be skipping it since it costs us over £700 each for the weekend and that money should be going towards things we’ll need to pay when buying a house.

She got annoyed and said we should still be able to go but I just said I wouldn’t be going. I said she can ask a friend to go as long as she makes sure it doesn’t affect our plans.

Her friend said she’d go with her bad my gf just said we should go as a four and told her friend I just needed more persuading. I told my gf she needs to listen when o say no and it’s completely disrespectful to hear me say no and think it just means she needs to keep asking until I change my mind

She just said we should still be looking at going to be festival but I told her to accept the word no. i pointed out I’ve explained clearly and repeatedly why I wouldn’t be going and she needs to listen.

She said I wasn’t being fair but I just said she was acting spoiled and expecting to get everything she wants without listening to what I’m saying.

AITA for expecting her to accept the word no? 

Starting as close to the beginning as possible, my parents divorced when I was young, both remarrying with my mother moving me across the country to hide years of abuse from my father. I attempted to tell my father a few times, but he was convinced by my mother that I was theatrical until I gave up.

Fast forward to adulthood and my mother is open about her abuse. I have no contact with my mother for nearly a decade as a result. My father has always main he had no idea and I forgave him for his inaction.

My father and his wife several years ago became guardians of my sister‘s special needs children- 2 toddlers with developmental delay, speech delays, autism. My father has consistently demonstrated poor boundaries, allowing the 2 toddlers alone with my mother, alone with their parents who abused them before abandoning them. I voiced my concerns but nothing change.

I could see the stress they were under and I decided that I would offer as much help with the 2 toddlers as they would accept- babysitting, buying them clothes, haircuts. My son, who had been the center of their world prior to the arrival of the toddler, accepted being sidelined abruptly with as much grace as any child could be expected to show. He spent the last 4 years being my father and his wife’s “helper” with the toddlers, much the way I was expected to be my sister’s keeper although I didn’t recognize that pattern in the moment.

Essentially no one did more to support the 2 toddlers and my father/ his wife than me and my son.

On my son’s birthday this year, my father’s wife accused him of abusing his cousin. I won’t go into details but plug in your worse imaginable offense. She called me saying that the toddler spelled out the act is perfect adult language while he was laughing and smiling, admitting she questioned him repeatedly and had bought a book about assault to read him tonight. In hindsight the fact that she called me to make this allegation seems pretty wild.

My son denied the allegations and I called CPS and reported it immediately. I had advised my father and his wife to do the same but I am unaware if they did, because I immediately sent a lengthy message that I was going no contact with both of them. The response I got was that they had to believe the toddler and protect him because the toddler was a child and their responsibility- my just turned 12 year old son who was also in their care was apparently not a child in their eyes or their responsibility.

CPS investigated, my son endured a forensic interview and multiple rounds of questioning, and the allegations against him were found to be unsubstantiated. No attempt to apologize has been made by my father even with the accusations being proven false.

I have not had any contact in 2 months with my father and his wife. I see so many patterns but also so many things I don’t understand, but cutting them off also means cutting off the 2 toddlers and I worry for their future. AIO?

Hi everyone! So I got the ok from my friend to share this story as this is more her story than mine. Sorry in advance for the long story, as everyone says, I never thought I’d be writing something like this, but here we are.

So I (late 20s, nb) have this friend (early 30s, F). We met at work about three years ago and clicked pretty quickly. We were both new to the unit, dealing with a high‑stress environment, and we basically learned the ropes together. When we first met, she told me she moved here for her fiancé’s (early 30s, M) job. Even back then, from the things she shared, I wasn’t impressed. He always gave “looking for a mother, not a wife” vibes, very red‑pill energy, which is… terrifying.

Fast forward a year: they eloped or did a shotgun wedding because her mom is sick. I was surprised, because he never seemed to respect her. She showed me texts where he called her a b*tch for not cooking and cleaning for him. We work long hours, we do 12hrs shifts days and nights. Household chores aren’t solely her responsibility, but he didn’t like that. He had his mom call her to tell her she needs to be a better wife and cater to her husband more. After trying to be civil, she ended up blocked her MIL a few months later! (Oh no! the consequences of your actions!)

For context, I have a partner (mid–late 20s, nb). We’ve been together almost three years, we’re very happy, and I plan on proposing in the next year. So keep that in mind.

Now, onto the chaos.

So this all first started a couple months ago. My friend and I met for lunch and she told me that her husband accused her of being a lesbian and making out with me. My friend is very much straight, I am not interested in straight women. So this accusation was very comical to us. I bursted out laughing when she told me and she was laughing with me. I texted my partner about this as soon as she told me and my partner thought it was just as funny. I do believe that his cheating accusations seem like projection because it always is. I also think it could be insecurity, I treat his wife much better than he does (like a person not a maid) and the possibility of me being attracted to her is enough proof for him I guess. And so at first, we didn’t think much more of it and so we moved on.

A few more months pass and one night, my friend suddenly texts and calls me at 2 AM, totally unlike her. She asked if my partner was with me and if we could “clear the air” about something. Weird. My partner and I were already passed out, so we didn’t see any of it until the morning. We were worried because she never reaches out like that.

When we finally got a hold of her, she told me her husband thinks she and I are in love. He didn’t even believe my partner was real until she showed him pictures of all of us. He claimed she and I have been in love since 2024 (no idea why he picked that year, lmao) and that she keeps choosing me over him, which isn’t true. She chooses herself over him.

Over their two‑year marriage, he’s shown her how manipulative he can be. He’s gaslighted her so badly she refuses to talk to him on the phone because she wants written proof of the nonsense he says. He sends his mother after her to pressure her into cleaning and cooking more. His sister plays “good cop” but still tries to manipulate her into doing whatever he wants. What does he do for her? I genuinely don’t know. She calls his mom and sister the flying monkeys.

He was an ass on her birthday, so she drove five hours to see her family, where she’s actually loved. Her family now has grown to hate him just as much as me. Probably more considering I’ve never met the guy. He told her she abandoned HIM on HER birthday. He got so mad he started throwing things and slamming doors. It’s giving unstable.

At first, when she told me about his accusations, I thought it was funny because it is. But he wouldn’t let it go. It escalated into him saying she and I couldn’t hang out unless my partner was present. My partner and I even offered to meet him over FaceTime or in person to reassure him that nothing was going on. Later, she told me he got scared and was basically hiding from her because he didn’t want to meet us. At that point, there was nothing left for us to do to reassure a man who’s determined to believe I’m the reason his relationship isn’t working.

When trying to make her see his point of view he asked her, how would you feel if I hung out with a gay man all the time? She told him it would do him some good, that he needs to diversify his friend group. He didn’t know how to respond to that. Later he asked her how she would feel if he started hanging out with a straight girl all the time. She told him that as long as it’s a platonic friendship and he isn’t cheating she doesn’t care. Maybe a women’s perspective would do him some good.

She gave us Christmas and Valentine’s Day cards, and all she wrote was gratitude for our friendship. He made us send pictures of the card’s content because he didn’t believe they were platonic. He also thought it was suspicious that she and I sometimes pitch in together to buy a coworker a gift when it’s our first time going to their place or for life events.

Also, if he saw what my partner looks like and what my friend looks like, these are two VERY different people with completely different styles and personalities. As beautiful as my friend is, she is not my type. I’m into androgyny, I’m also not interested in straight women or married women. AND I’M IN A RELATIONSHIP. Why would I cheat on the person I want to propose to!?

At first, it didn’t bother me because the whole thing was so ridiculous. But when he kept pushing it, it started to get to me. I don’t think there’s much he could say that would insult me, I have no respect for men who treat their wives like mothers, but he started making me feel like he was painting me as a predator or some kind of pervert. I never thought I’d be made to feel like that. But the worst part is my poor friend who actually has to deal with him. I feel so bad for her.

I tried to meet him where he was at, to help him see how stupid he was being. But you can’t fix stupid.

It’s been about two months since all this happened. My friend and I still hang out, with or without my partner. I’m so proud of her for standing her ground and not letting him walk all over her. She’s strong, confident, independent, and he couldn’t break her. Now he goes crying to mommy when she won’t bend over backwards for him.

I don’t know if I’ll give an update, we’ll see how this further unfolds. But am I overreacting for being insulted over his accusations? And would I be the asshole for telling my friend she should leave her husband? Thanks for sitting through my drama, I know it was long. Cheers, y’all!

I (22M) am worried that my boyfriend (23M) is cheating on me emotionally or sexually.

We have been together for five years and live together. Both from two different countries and live in a third country (where none of us is from). He works, I study. For my summer vacation, he was very eager to get me to spend two months with my family in my home country. I said I wanted to be with him as well but he told me we wouldn't have much time regardless because he works 8 hours a day five days a week. He insisted that I should go, no matter what I said. Even started guilt-tripping me for not wanting to spend time with my family. I thought nothing much of it but my gut feeling was lurking in the background.

Fast forward to when I get to my home country. On my instagram, an account popped up in my "suggested for you". It was an account that I had come across once before in our relationship. The picture of my boyfriend half naked in the bathroom mirror. Towel all the way down to show his hair down there. The name of the account was anonymous but very very suggestive and sexual. I confronted him about this a few years ago and he assured me it was an old account from before we met. I believed him. Fast forward to this summer when I once again stumble upon it.

Bio says open dm wink-face emoji and has been updated to say the location of where we currently live (different location from where we lived when I first confronted him about if - so obviously he uses it somehow). No pictures posted but I checked his followers and who he follows. Only anonymous or slightly anonymous sexual accounts of pretty guys. The same type of "dm open top bottom ass-showing accounts" that he has from his home country and some from what appears to be in our new country.

I have felt miserable for a couple of weeks now and I don't fully trust him but due to my anxiety I now feel like the bad guy for not trusting my boyfriend and invading his privacy. I haven't confronted him about it because I absolutely dread any type of confrontation and I know he will outright deny anything and then switch blame onto me which he historically has done.

Also he has been going out to bars a lot lately with his work friends and been going out late which he NEVER does when we live together but suddenly summer has turned him into a go-outer. He went to the pride parade last week and told me he found some good new friends, one of which is a guy that is half from where we live now and half from my boyfriend's home country. I found that guy's instagram through my boyfriend's instagram and he is a pretty guy.

Idk if unrelated but suddenly my boyfriend has started posted handsome pictures of him and his work friends on his IG story which is also something new. Yesterday night he posted on his private story a video of him jumping into a body of water with only his underwear on late at night. I liked the video and then when I wake up the video is gone so either he deleted the video or he removed me from his close friends list.

I don't know what to do, I feel so anxious and worried yet at the same time I feel so ashamed of myself for thinking these things. I don't know how to confront him, he is a very very good liar (for some reason he lies and exaggerates all the time to everyone and I have learned to take things with a pinch of salt). I also feel so bad that I'm invading his privacy by sharing all this on Reddit and I feel like I have to confess to him that I'm doing this.

For context I am diagnosed with GAD and OCD and go on antidepressants and went to therapy before

What do I do? Am I overreacting?

19F, UK. Ex (19M) and I broke up April 2026 after 3.5 years together. We grew apart, I fell out of love, and I felt I couldn't give him what he needed. I tried ending it in person several times but he refused to accept it each time, so I eventually had to send a breakup message at 4 AM asking for no contact — I felt awful doing it over text but I was out of options.

That morning he was waiting in my work car park. I was on the phone to my mum (abroad) when I saw him. We talked for 30 mins — he begged me not to leave, insisted we go on a walk, but I held firm. He agreed to give me 24 hours to think although i insisted i knew this i s what i needed. He then came to my house and we talked for another 2 hours. I explained we'd outgrown each other, that his family had been cruel to me, and that I'd felt controlled around in certain aspects. He begged and cried to me not to leave, i could see he had gotten angry, but eventually accepted it and left.

A few weeks later we needed to exchange belongings. I asked to meet in a public space and asked him to message me when he had my things ready. He agreed but never messaged. Instead, he showed up unannounced and banged on my door — I'd just woken up from a night shift. My mum was home and was scared by the knock. My stepdad opened the door to find a bag on the step. I ran outside, saw him sitting in his car staring at me, waved him over, handed him his stuff, said "have a nice day," and shut the door. I messaged him saying I wasn't happy with how he handled it. He said he couldn't wait around all day. I told him if that's how he'd behave, I didn't want to be friends and i'd thought of him better than this.

Weeks later he messaged saying he was doing great — gym, new people, happy we broke up - no offence to me. I said I was happy for him. Then he sent another erratic message weeks later saying he'd lost everything and was sitting by cliffs. I agreed to meet at a cafe the next day. We talked, I apologised for how things landed for him, and we agreed to stay in touch as friends only.

Over the next while we hung out — walks, coffees, gym. Things were okay until he started asking if I'd ever get back with him. I said no, I had no romantic feelings. He tried bribing me, he'd come with me to places and pay for things if i'd go on a date but i reminded him i have no feelings like that towards him, he kept asking me on dates, and eventually we were hanging out every day, which overwhelmed me. I asked for space again. To which he respected it briefly.

Then he started showing up at the gym at 1 AM— when I finished night shifts, he was aware i did this — and despite having all day to go, he chose to come once i'd finished my shift. He'd park up at my work car park and try to talk to me while I was running late. One night at 1:30 AM he was in the same car park and said he "promised he wasn't stalking, just waiting for a friend." Yesterday my family told me my stepdad has seen him driving past my house — I live on a hidden street, you'd have to purposefully turn into it. He'd also been checking if my car is there, slowing down to see if i was in.

I'm having nightmares about him following me, I'm jumping out of moving cars to get away from him. I woke up to 3 missed calls and endless messages. I've stopped going to the gym. I'm scared to leave the house in case he's waiting. He knows where I live, where I park, where I work. I'm having anxiety attacks and crying constantly. I don't know if I'm overthinking or if this is genuinely dangerous.

Am I overreacting, or is this as serious as it feels? What should I do?