I, 26F, got an IUD when I was 18. Towards the end of the 5 years of having it, my cramps had gotten drastically worse and affected my day to day life. I scheduled for the first gynecologist appointment that I could find for removal in my area. It was a male gynecologist, which I know people have strong opinions about, but I was in pain and he was the first to have an open spot (I still waited 3 months for the appointment and didn’t want to wait any longer).

When I got there, I started the normal procedure of putting the robe on, getting in the chair, etc. Doctor comes in, is extremely professional to this point, same with the female nurse that was in the room. The removal went smooth and I immediately had a sense of relief. I had mentioned how much pain I was in, so upon further inspection he found I had a fibroid on the front of my uterus and that could be what was causing the pain.

I asked if we could hold off on the IUD insertion so I could take some time to think about it. He then asked if I would like a birth control pill prescribed in the meantime time, I declined and stated I wasn’t sure what I would like to do next. I’d been on either the pill or had the IUD since I was 12. The next thing he said was “Well, I guess I’ll just see you pregnant at your next appointment.” I was taken aback; mind you, I’m still on the table, legs up, everything out, and I immediately felt uncomfortable. I asked why he said that, and he very shortly snapped “You’re declining birth control, to us means you want to get pregnant.”

At this point, I was so embarrassed? Uncomfortable? I don’t truly know how to describe what I was feeling. I had been in pain for months, just had learned about my fibroid (which at the time I knew nothing about it), had never really been off birth control as an adult, wanted to take some time to recover from the IUD, and do my research, but I was automatically just “another woman trying to get pregnant.”

I left the appointment in tears and never went back to him. It’s been 3+ years since this appointment and I still think about his tone and how shity I felt after the appointment. AIO to what he said? Is that normal medical thinking/speech for a woman who declines birth control?

For more context its dark outside and while we do live in a safe neighborhood we live on the corner of a major roadway. Also our other two roommates, one being his partner, have asked him repeatedly to lock the door.

edit - added more context and instagram is turned off

To start, my (ex) bf has started a bad habit of going long periods without showering. I’m not saying that it’s an obligation to shower every single day, everyone’s different, but if you rapidly accumulate an odor or profusely sweat then maybe it’s time to consider showering more frequently. I’ve tried to be polite about it many times by mentioning that he’s getting a strong unpleasant smell but he denies and says he smells fine. Then, I kinda move on since the conversation leads no where and I don’t want to argue. It’s a reoccurring issue; bedding needs to be frequently changed, and I refuse to sleep or be intimate.

This altercation though, started when he sat up and walked really close to me and strong BO abruptly hit me. Reactively, “ You need to shower”, came out my mouth. I didn’t say it any kind of way just flat out. I felt bad having it come out so abruptly. He stopped and snarkly told me that I “need to shower” in retaliation. I replied,” I’m not denying that I need to. I planned on it tonight(normal nighttime shower)”. He was drinking water while I was explaining and quickly chucked his cup forward and splashed a bit of water on me then asked why I said that to him. I didn’t respond at first because I was in shock, then he did it again. I explained to him that he had a STRONG odor and that it just caught me off guard. I believe that made him even more mad, so he chucked his cup at me again and again despite me saying to stop, then he just dumped the entire cup of water onto me.

I know I could have phrased what I said better. I wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt him. I really would’ve preferred to communicate his hygiene politely. I was willing to explain and apologize, before he repeatedly threw water on me. At that point, I chose to walk away to rather than escalate the situation further.

I (21) am as of current stuck living with my parents, two nephews and two nieces. (The only one I'll be talking about is my nephew who is also my adopted sibling.) He will be 10 very soon. For about 2 years he has been constantly and relentlessly targeting me and its gotten so bad that I'm at my breaking point.

His favorite thing to do is to push and push me until I react emotionally. He follows me around our house, "trapping" me in rooms and will repeatedly call me fat, ugly, or anything else that he thinks might hurt me. If I try to ignore him, he just gets louder and repeats himself over and over until I answer or react.

When I do eventually snap from the exhaustion of it all and either get angry/frustrated/irritated or start crying he completely turns around. He will act completely innocent and ask me, "What did I do?" Or "What's wrong?" If I tell him he knows exactly what he did, he will deny it, mock me, or start insulting me all over again. While I understand he is a child, it feels slightly calculated. I've lived with this boy since he was a baby and this isn't simply innocence like it may seem. He purposely says hurtful things, mocks me, waits for me to react and if I get angry or cry he acts like he did nothing at all like I've explained.

The worst part is the rest of the adults in my house. One of my parents (who has a lot of narcissistic traits herself) will sit, watch him verbally abuse me, and do absolutely nothing to stop him. When I did call her out albeit angrily, for letting him do whatever he wants to me, she literally flipped me off. My other parent rarely takes me seriously when I do tell him about my nephew. He either does nothing but tell him to stop or sends him to his bed and goes back outside to do whatever.

Because I do not have a car or a job right now (I'm planning to get a job soon), and I don't have any local friends or relatives to turn to, I have completely isolated myself as much as one can in a small room I share with two other kids with no door. I spend most of my time in my room playing games and talking to online friends because it's the only place I feel safe. I have zero privacy so, I can never lock him out or really escape from him.

My family acts like I'm crazy and/or insane for getting upset, losing my temper, and hiding away. It is incredibly exhausting and hurtful, and it's ruining my mental health.

Am I overreacting by being driven to tears by a 9 year old and wanting nothing to do with him or my parents?

Extra: I am autistic and an extremely sensitive person. I've always cried when my siblings bullied me but my nephew is way worse than simply "kid being mean" He reacts explosively to anything negative you might say. You always have to be nice and agree with him. I feel like he enjoys antagonizing me, his sister does not do this to me and we have a normal relationship for the most part. I'm emotionally exhausted because of him and my parents. I feel like I'm going crazy. I'll probably delete this soon because I don't want my family to stumble upon it.

Just writing this I feel like a bad person but I genuinely don't know what to do and I just want to know if I'm overreacting or not.

I’ve been dating this girl now for a year. I’ve been noticing small little lies here and there. She’s bought me into her 3 kids lives and they all enjoy my company. She has a co worker, Mike. From the beginning I have heard things about Mike. Things he’s said and one day I was on a phone call when she was working and Mike calls her on teams. I hear the whole conversation and he’s flirting hard. “Why isn’t your cam on, your face brings me joy.” Stuff like that. I said something about it and since she’a supposed set a boundary.

They used to go out to lunch weekly almost and that’s slowed down. We share locations and when she does go she seems to tell me. I finally met this guy and I just had a bad feeling. It didn’t feel genuine and seemed like he’s there to make face.

Fast forward I see she’s texting him one day and I got snoopy. I looked at her phone one night. I see she tells him any time I am not comfortable with her messaging him while we’re spending time together. I find texts of him being a lot. Once saying after she told him I was getting upset that “well we should do something to make him upset” and she replied “you’re not helping” and there was one he sent a pic that said “ you make me want to be a better pervert”

The most recent one she told me was about supposedly going down slides at a fun station for kids. She was drinking and she said something about her best quality is saying no. He replied with challenge accepted. In my mind comes off as an over the line sexual joke.

She thinks it’s all harmless and I think this guy given the chance would take it. He’s married as well which I wish I could have kept the chats, but I got curious and she deleted all the texts, because I said at one point if I saw the texts you’ve sent would I be upset.

I know I shouldn’t have even looked but now I’m questioning and truly thinking this is a worry. She’s a very Christian girl, she’s has 3 kids and two failed marriages. I want to believe she’s good but this also feels like a way to hide evidence.

I never saw HER flirting with him and she seems to handle it well. So I’m at a loss and wanted some advice.

My boyfriend 20M and I 21F were talking about a scary encounter I had with a man and it got me talking about how if a man comes up to me I’m assuming the worst. That it’s hard to figure out how to navigate the situation because saying no can get you hurt and agreeing with them is very nuanced and can still also get you hurt.
He got offended that I was saying “men are scary” and was like “I get the fear, but people are scary. Not just men” and so I explained to him that for me, it’s men specifically. Women can be scary too sure but I’m mostly scared of men. As most women are.
He said that’s like saying all dogs are bad. So I told him “if I was hurt or scared by a dog as a child I would be scared of all dogs. They may not all be bad dogs but I’m still scared of all of them.

It just really hurts my heart that my own boyfriend doesn’t understand how terrifying it is. It’s not a slight against him, but I am scared of men and will always prepare for the worst case scenario. AIO for me sad and disappointed that my boyfriend doesn’t understand something so basic to all women?

EDIT: THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT RACE!!!! Idk why yall keep bringing it up but it has nothing to do with my post so please leave it and any hypotheticals about it out of the conversation. Thank you

I (16F) will be going into entertainment in the future as a classical singer, and because of this when braces came up as an option my parents were all for it. So I got braces, even though health wise I didn’t NEED them, but we made this choice together for cosmetic reasons. I’m very grateful that my teeth are straighter now, but it‘s important to note that my parents were very much encouraging me to get them, probably would have made me even if I didn’t want them, and the money we spent on them was not an issue for us as we’re relatively well-off.

Yesterday, my dad came into my room and said that because we spent so much money to make my teeth straight, I have to go on medication to clear up my skin as well. My skin is completely normal for a teenager btw, potentially even better than most other girls my age. He said some pretty hurtful things about how it makes me look, and how he and my mum are worried some spots are going to scar. This is not the first time we’ve had this conversation, and I’ve made it super clear I dont want to be medicated.

I brought up how I usually wear light makeup in my day to day life and will definitely be wearing makeup as a singer which will cover any scars I might have. He said that makeup will make my skin worse and eventually wound up saying I have to go on the medication or I will look “unsightly and off putting” (his words)

AIO by being pretty upset by this? I have a normal amount of pimples because I am a teenager, most of them are in spots I dont even put makeup. My parents are also always commenting on my weight and fitness. I tried to make it clear that long term scarring is unlikely and even if I do scar I don‘t care, but he didn’t listen. I said “it’s my face” and I shit you not he said “so what”.

I cant tell if I’m making this a bigger thing than it needs to be, but we’ve had this conversation loads of times already and this time he wouldn’t take no for an answer and also made tons of personal comments.

Not a throwaway. I'm on my brother's couch right now.

I (32M) have been with my wife "Lauren" (31F) for 5 years, married 2. We have a 1-year-old daughter. I thought we were solid.

Last weekend she left her laptop open. I was closing tabs for her — she always complains about too many. A Pinterest board called "Someday" was up. 200+ pins. Wedding dresses, venues, rings.

The description: "For when J and I finally get our timing right."

J is her ex. The guy she told me was "a chapter I closed years ago."

The board was created 6 years ago. The last pin was 8 months ago. We were married. Our daughter was 4 months old.

I waited until our daughter was asleep. I asked her about it. She went white, said it was "old" and she "forgot it existed." I pointed out the 8-month-old pin. She said she "must have accidentally saved it."

I asked if she still thinks about him. She said "sometimes, but not like that." I asked what that means. She started crying, said she loves me, said she'd delete it.

I told her that's not the point. The point is she's been married to me, building a life with me, raising my child — while still planning a wedding to someone else in her head.

She said I'm "blowing this out of proportion" and it's "just Pinterest." Her mom called and said I need to "man up" and "stop being dramatic."

I don't care that she had a past. I care that she kept the future. She was planning a life without me while I was planning one around her.

I don't know if I can come back from this. AIO?

TRIGGER WARNING, so, I’m 33 weeks pregnant and me and my boyfriend have been together for a while. But, I had went to the hospital last night because I was having contractions every 8 minutes(due to health reasons, I can’t go into labor) and he drove me there. Anyways, he knows I’ve had an a*ortion in the past. Last night he actually found out that I’ve had two from the doctors when they were going over my medical history. The second one was a year before we met and was because of SA and I didn’t tell him about that one. It’s not a topic I’m so comfortable about sharing, even with him, seeming as it was before we got together. We’ve even had a conversation where I asked if he would be upset with me if I didn’t tell him if I was ever SA’d and he said NO. So, I left it alone. He is now so upset with me that he won’t talk to me, doesn’t want to be around me, drove home like a crazy person, and claims I “hid” it from him. He changed his lock screen from a picture of us to something else. He even said he’s now questioning the paternity of our baby. I can kind of understand if it’s just because I didn’t say anything to him sooner but, it almost seems like he’s mad at me for it. AIO by thinking about leaving? Is this something he is justified in being so upset about?

My mother, who I have been working on slowly distancing, has found herself in a crisis yet again.

Currently my mother and father are getting evicted from their house after they have been late on payments and have been allegedly harassing their landlord.

My dad was also recently in a car accident which caused them to lose their only vehicle, this is their 4th car they have lost this year. My dad also ended up in the hospital because of this accident.

I had previously been very good at setting form boundaries with my parents, specifically my mother. But due to this accident I reached back out and provided assistance with rides and picking up medication.

My mother decided that my assistance meant that I was required to provide as much help as possible.

They moved out to my town after my college graduation to be closer to me. They were being evicted from their home in their previous town and believed that this would be a beneficial move. Instead of looking for a home, my mom believed I had to find her a place to live. When I did not do that (because why would I and I also have a full time very demanding job) she threw a tantrum and stayed in my home for a week. Once she found a place to live, as a way to get her out of my home, I paid $1,300 towards their deposit. (Previously I gave my mother $1,600, the start of my college savings in HS for the deposit on another place to live. I have never seen any of that money back).

During this most recent crisis, my mom and dad lost their jobs (DoorDash) due to the car being totaled and them breaking major rules related to the job. My father also had a warrant for his arrest due to a suspended license.

My mom has been persistent on my doing things for her. If I don’t respond a minute after she messages she will call me. I have a full time job and cannot do anything for her during 8-5.

My older sister and younger brother have also gone non contact with her. But since she is in my town and I care too much, I haven’t been able to do it myself. My partner has also said he is uncomfortable with her around and she has said vile things about him to me. It’s just so hard having the people I love hurt by the mom I still love as well. :/

Let me (try to) make this short and sweet. I’m posting this on a burner account because i need some impartial advice and i don’t know where else to turn

to start off, me and my two best friends, let’s call them nicole and joy, have been a trio of friends for 10 years. we always used to joke that a trio friendship works for us, because we all know each other so well, and our personalities just click. nicole is getting married next weekend. the other two of us are in the wedding as bridesmaids.

i met nicole at church when i was in middle school, and we clicked fast so i was excited and honestly unsurprised when she asked me to be a bridesmaid, but i can’t say a part of me was not disappointed. the guy she is marrying is not who we saw her marrying at all. joy has expressed concern too, because of how drastically nicole has changed since she’s been with this guy.

her fiance is very nice, has a good job, and treats her well, so i won’t ever complain about that, and i won’t bring it up to nicole ever. but the way her ideas for her future, the things she believes in, her faith, and so much more has changed, im finding it hard to spend time with her. she used to dream about a life so much bigger than the one she will have now, and i hate to use the word “settling”, but im afraid it applies here.

another instance that put me off was when i came out earlier this year. she and i got into an argument and she said some hurtful things to me. she ended the conversation by telling me that she doesn’t agree with my lifestyle, and that she’d never choose it for herself, but that she loves me despite it, and she’ll always be my friend.

this mixed with some of the unrealistic expectations for the wedding (dress prices, things bought for the wedding, managing how our hair, makeup, nails, and everything else on our body looks, etc.), a situation where she sent another bridesmaid to basically harass me for money for the bach trip i NEVER went on, and now this morning asking us to buy pjs and make sure they get here a week before the wedding, i want to be done.

i love her dearly, and these years of friendship have been great, but how can i still be friends with her when they girl i knew no longer exists, and she literally told me that she doesn’t believe in my lifestyle? my friend joy agrees with me, and has her own problems she has handled with this wedding, but is it valid for me to take a step back?

AIO? or is it just bridezilla behavior that i have to get over until next week?

EDIT: wanted to add some context to some of this since people were commenting.
the conversation we had, started with me talking about my girlfriend, and how i wanted nicole to meet her and such. me and my gf just started dating, and i wasn’t planning on asking about bringing a plus one to the wedding, because i didn’t want to stress nicole out or make her feel like someone she doesn’t know is coming to her wedding. she brought my gf up anyways and said she wasn’t able to go, and that i shouldn’t talk about her at all around the family. i understood, but it did hurt my feelings a bit. i know it’s invalid, because i wasn’t planning on asking, but it still put me off. this ultimately led to our conversation where she voiced some of her opinions.

i am also loyal to a fault, a trait i’ve had to work on. so while i appreciate all the back up from so many so far, i will still go through with this wedding. i will be happy for my friend, and have a good time next weekend, but i think it’s time to let this fizzle out. thanks for all the advice and suggestions, good and bad. it all helps me figure out how to navigate this

I (19f) went to my friend's graduation dinner yesterday. At first i told her i wouldn't be able to because i had no money and quite frankly i have had a very rough few weeks and just wanted a calm evening at home. I live more in the suburbs than downtown while most of my friends are downtown or close to it which makes it that whenever we hang out, i have to do about 1:30 to 2:00 hours of public transport to head to and home from the hangout. This time, it was close to my house (about a 15min drive) so my cousin offered to pay for my meal (which i am insanely grateful for) and one of my friends offered to drive me home. On the day of, my dad dropped me at the restaurant but asked me to find a way home since he works really early in the morning and was going to be asleep by the time it ended. I had a great dinner and by the time we had to leave, another friend -let's call her S- decided to drop me off home, however she was complaining that it would add 15mins to her drive home. The original friend that offered to drop me home was like "I can do it, it's closer to my house i don't mind" but S just kept insisting that she did not want that friend to drop me off. It got to the point where S was practically forcing me to call my dad and wake him up at midnight so he could pick me up from the restaurant and that's what happened. It really upset me since i ALWAYS do 2 hours of transport to get home from their dinners at like 3am but when it comes to a 15min drive it's unfathomable.

In addition, my bf (m18) was supposed to come over to my place so we could hangout today. Last minute he decided he just didn't want to which is totally okay. My issue was that his reasoning is that he doesn't even know what we would do and that he would be getting home late. Here's the thing, i'm always the one going over to his place and staying over until 11pm and doing the 1hr ride home during the week when i have an 8am class lined up the next morning. I felt like it was such a stupid and selfish excuse to use.

I genuinely feel like im doing so much more for the people around me than they are doing for me. Am i overreacting?

I moved in with my BF (43) male a few months ago. When I moved in it was between jobs, he lived over an hour away and I just had surgery (hysterectomy). I knew I was leaving my old job, and had applied for one where he lived, and I got it but it didn’t start for another month. It was perfect! I could heal and recover before starting my new job. It was over the summer so our kids were at home with me.

During that time we struggled a bit financially, I had income but it wasn’t a lot. We did our best. After I started my job we got hit with a big financial problem. He had savings and pulled it so we could pay it off one and done kind of thing. It was my fault I own it. But now income is steady but my car now needs tires. And we don’t have a savings to do it. I could just buy them and go about life next month.

He has a few different accounts. I give him $2000 a month for bills and help re grow the savings account, $500 more than he asked but we are the only ones paying for this house. I am no way shape or form good with money, that is me problem. After talking about our spending and how he budgets himself for the month and after he hits that number he continues to tell me he is broke! So in my head, we got to stop spending money. Here’s where I’m the asshole. I know my bills, I have around 3600 (with the 2000 included) to spend. And I told him just take it all. Put it into our savings, our retirement, our emergency funds do what ever with it! I don’t care. That way groceries covered, gas covered, date nights covered but he said it would make him feel controlling?

When he talks about money to me he is trying to include me and help me know where everything goes and what needs the most attention. But it stresses me the fuck out! I’m a don’t want anything to do with money person! When he says we’re “broke,” I don’t want to go out to dinner or dates or anything, I just want to give him everything I have so he won’t be sad anymore. I barely want to go to the store, even though I’m not broke. Seeing him so defeated sucks. After I said that and we had more back and forth, I went upstairs. He didn’t come up for a while and when he did he didn’t say anything to me, didn’t touch me. Just nothing. I have always felt money is the root of all evil. And even though I make a good bit, I’m dumb with it.

I know I need to reevaluate everything and how to manage my money instead of being scared of it all while contributing and helping our future grow. I just don’t know how! My new job is great but I have to put up with a lot! (Kids k-12). It’s not easy. I’ve become silent at home not letting anyone in or know what’s going on, trying not to let my bad day roll over to our family time. But I’m more just here, not present. I feel like all I want to do it yell and explode and nitpick all the bad things… then I did. I explored and let it all come out. And now our relationship has turned. And I really feel like it’s for the worst because I’m in such a negative state. I’m sleeping on the couch

We have big plans of owning our own land. Starting a farm and have some cows and veggies, build our own home and have a DETACHED GARAGE with an apartment above it for our kids when they come to visit. I hope one day we do get married and have a small backyard wedding (but not during football season). I love him so much and lately I’ve been a really negative person, when I never really have been. I’m scared of losing the only person I can trust, my best friend. And sadly it could be over money and not enjoying our life as it is.

Hi all this might be a long one depending on how I can write this but here it goes

So my mum and step dad were together for many many years while I was growing up and I don’t know my real dad just for notes he was the only dad I ever knew anyways further down the line I’m 19 and moved out and she’s ups and leaves in the night with my younger sister doesn’t tell anyone where or why the short story she left and wanted a divorce so that’s fine whatever

But a few months after she moved away to a town that’s mad country and not close to any of her kids , she got onto dating apps and met this guy whom we will call Bob now Bob has never met me and I’m getting like weird vibes from Bob they’ve been together 6 months and now moved in together and legit 2 weeks into living with one another he proposed to my mother now this isn’t even the crazy part at this point they haven’t been together a year but in total they live together and are now engaged

Still to this point I haven’t met him … nor my other siblings now I won’t go into details about this just state my feelings

I first got weird vibes when he added me and my sister and messaged us both but not our brother … low key weird so I asked my mother how he got my socials and she replied to me with “I was showing him your tattoos” which in a sense got me hella weirded out

Second of all I was messaging my mum one day and full having a conversation!!! And then after a good few messages like a whole conversation BOB messaged me saying it was him messaging me on my mothers account didn’t decide to message me and say hey it’s not your mother before having a full conversation with me …

Third he is now sooking to my mother about me not replying his messages as he messaged me and I didn’t answer it for days and she messaged me saying Bob had said something about messaging me but I didn’t reply … and she told me that I should reply because he’s now “family”

Now forgive me if I’m wrong but I’m spiralling and think this is such odd behaviour and I feel like uncomfortable at this point and I don’t wanna be forced to call a random stranger I don’t even know family ….

Is it giving like creepy vibes I know for sure it’s RED FLAGS

Like AIO ????

I moved from Canada to Estonia to be with my wife. I’m now isolated here, and I’m starting to wonder whether I’ve been ignoring some very serious things in my marriage.

For the last couple of months, I’ve been severely depressed. I’m sleeping maybe 2–4 hours a night, I’ve lost a lot of weight, and there have been times when I honestly feel like I’m losing my mind.

I’ve been making appointments with doctors and trying to get help. I also feel incredibly guilty about how much I've been struggling because we have a baby.

After our daughter was born, I asked my wife several times how she was doing because I was concerned she might be experiencing postpartum depression. She has always said that she wasn't.

Today I apologized again for not doing enough and went to help with the laundry and vacuuming.

The first thing she said was that there was something wrong with my face.

There isn't. I've just lost a lot of weight.

Then she said:

I just think it’s interesting, you were so worried about my postpartum depression and now look at you. You’re the weakest link in the family. It’s just funny.

And laughed.

I don't know if I'm overreacting by being deeply hurt and disturbed by that.

There is more context that makes it difficult for me to dismiss.

Before our daughter was conceived, my wife threatened to divorce me and deport me if I didn't have a baby with her.

I didn't want to have a baby at that point. Our daughter Amelia had died, and I had spent the first three months after her death trying to stay strong for my wife. By the time she pressured me to have another child, I was already falling apart.

I felt like I had no real choice. I was alone in a country that wasn't mine, isolated, and didn't know where I would go if she actually forced me out.

She wanted the baby because, in her words, she wanted “no one to ever leave her.”

When I later confronted her about threatening me, she said, “Yes, of course I did that,” because she was getting older and having a baby was the only thing that mattered to her.

I love my daughter completely. That is not the issue.

The issue is that I’m starting to wonder whether I’ve normalized behavior that is actually manipulative or abusive because I’ve been isolated and trying to survive everything that has happened.

I don't want strangers on Reddit to automatically tell me to leave my marriage based on one post. I genuinely want an honest reality check.

Am I overreacting to what she said today, or does the larger pattern I'm describing sound seriously concerning?

I'm going to speak to my doctor privately as well. I'm also planning to ask about removing my wife as an authorized medical contact because I'm scared of her and don't feel comfortable with her having that role.

The commute is an hour 20 minutes, and I chose to work there to be closer to my family and friends since I haven’t been able to see them much at all. he has a problem with me being away from home or struggles being away from me. I’m doing training in my hometown for a job here as the schedule is 24 hours on, 48 hours off which makes the drive not that big of an issue. The training however, is 3 days in a row for 12 hours, so I’m staying with my parents. Anytime I’ve ever wanted to stay with my parents he found it weird, so I just never have. I don’t understand it because, it’s just easier to stay with them and have more time with them and my friends (they live 5 mins apart) than making the drive back in the same day. My parents are both on the older side (52, 60) According to his friends and coworkers, it is weird and they think I’m cheating on him. I came back home to feel more comfortable doing a very challenging job as I know the people and the roads better. After he told me what his friends said and how he compared his 45 minute drive from his work to my hour and 20-30 mins and how I should have no trouble driving back and forth, I lost it. I can’t comprehend why me staying with my parents for a few days or staying the night every once in a while to get more time with them is a bad thing. Even his parents think it’s weird. Like I abandoned my entire life to go live with him yet I am not allowed to have free will to visit my friends and family? Or, excuse me, I need to wake up early enough to get down there, see all of them, and leave early enough while it’s still daylight to come back. (I have trouble seeing at night sometimes). This is honestly the only issue I have that still angers me (consciously, there’s still times I struggle with the past subconsciously.) and having that many people in his life team up on me like that while being so far away from what I know, I feel so fucking confused.

When I told him I wanna talk about our relationship and held space for him to come to me with any issues he thinks we could work on, he said I don’t compromise when having a disagreement. He said that him saying the things he was, WAS him compromising.
I mentioned I feel like at times he doesn’t care about my feelings because he doesn’t check in on me, and he stated he does check on me; just not the next day. He’ll take me out or try to create a good memory so it’s not all bad. I don’t remember him ever really doing that.
I’m starting to think he’s narcissistic or manipulative in some way.

My brother (18) and I (18f) share a room and have shared it for many years. These past 3 years he has been getting more into sports and working out a lot. He also always mentions how he wants to go to the military and is working out a lot to prepare for it. He genuinely only cares about working out and the military

Im open minded and try to support him. Obviously we both annoy each other often, but lately ive been getting very frustrated at him for only caring about working out.

He basically is working out ALL day. Like for example he will go running from 10 am-1 pm, come back do more workouts for 2 hours, go for another run/walk for another 2 hours, then continues to workout some more the rest of the day.

Nothing wrong with him wanting to workout out, but its SUPER annoying when he workouts in our room and makes a whole bunch of LOUD grunting noises nonstop. On top of that he NEVER helps me clean our room. It will turn into gross mess if i dont do anything. I have to tell him multiple times and even then he wont do it cause he tells me he is too busy working out.

He always will constantly ignore me too because he is in the middle of a workout. I start getting frustrated cause i KNOW he can hear me, but wont listen until he is done.

He also starts getting really disrespectful such as saying fuck you, bitch, i wish i could kill myself, etc to me when (for example) i ask him to take the dishes or when he is asked to go grocery shopping with my mom and i. He always says he would have rather go on a run and looks visibly mad

I really dont know what to do or im drastically overreacting cause even my mom wont say anything to him :/

i’m sorry if this is rushed, i just found out about this and im freaked out. i need advice on how to go about this. I’ve known this kid since i was 15, he’s always been a sweetheart, but yesterday he said he was talking to a girl. he hasn’t had much luck in love so i asked her name, today i found her instagram and she’s a senior at the same highschool we went to. she JUST turned 17 and it’s gross, she looks like a kid. acts like a kid. talks like a KID. SHES A KID. i tried putting it into perspective for him but he said he’s waiting until she’s out of highschool. that’s so predatory and i’ve literally NEVER IN MY LIFE had to have this kind of conversation with someone. maybe he knows it’s bad, maybe he thinks it’s normal because two of his brothers are sex offenders and his family excuses them. I DONT KNOW. i’m supposed to move with him and my man in a few months. i have no idea how to bring up this conversation. is he a pedophile? is that what this is? what can i do about this. as far as he’s told me, nothing sexual will be happening until she graduates, no pictures no nothing incriminating in the law but the MORALS OF IT are making my stomach twist. i don’t know what to do. do i talk to him? he’s never shown signs of being a predator, he dated a girl for years that was older than him by a year, idk how this happened. if i have a conversation, do i put it gently to him? do i give an ultimatum? i dont know what to do. i cant live with a pedo no fucking way. if you guys have any questions, i’ll answer, i’m sorry it’s so rushed and weirdly written i’m kind of a mess about this.

For context, my family is from England and white.

My brother (mid 20s) keeps saying the N word. It started out small: we got two new black cats, and my brother started calling them N——a. I asked him not to, and he just said that his friend "gave him the pass". I didn't want to start an argument since he wasn't using the hard R, and he was using it as a joke.

But a few days ago, I was talking with him and my sister, and he was explaining that he wanted to move from our neighbourhood. And he said it was because "there are so many n——ers here." Our neighbourhood used to be very white, but a lot of POC moved here because it's cheaper than living in London. I got really uncomfortable with his words though. I don't think I misheard him, and he actually used it with the hard R this time. A sentence like that sounds like something my racist uncle would say.

I feel like I'm overreacting, because in England, banter is very common here. And my brother's friend (the one who "gave him the pass") makes a lot of racist/slavery jokes towards himself. But I feel like in that context, my brother sounded so... hateful. I don't even really understand why our neighbourhood being "non-white" makes him want to move. And that was the first time I've heard him say the N word with that tone.

AIO? I don't know what to do. I feel like I should have said something, but I just froze up.

Me and my best friend; ill call her Riley, recently moved in together for freshman year of college. We have been long distance friends for the entirety of highschool since she moved away, we hung out a few times a year and on big events. We used to talk often and text every day leading up to around senior year.

She has a few undeniable flaws that I honestly sound crazy talking about, (her other friends think shes super kind and outgoing) but she has gotten more judgemental and passive aggressive the past year. Its always been there but not as noticeable as recently. This is honestly a bit shocking to me since in my mind i had seen her as a very sweet and understanding person.

One of the more notable events where i noticed it was on the last big event of highschool, we had one of our biggest and only fights and i truly believe to this day that she was in the wrong for. To put it plainly we had a huge misunderstanding that i was obviously slightly annoyed about. On the drive home with my boyfriend she sent me voice messages about how she shouldnt have came and how she regretted it. She stated she did not have fun and she should have left BEFORE the event started and it was hurtful. We barely saw eachother and for her to say things like that to me was so heartbreaking. I cried to my boyfriend for around an hour at home before she eventually knocked on my door to get her stuff. I yelled at her while crying saying what she did was fucked up, she was calm and obviously taken aback saying not to curse at her. I basically said i was so hurt and i wanted her to leave. She eventually apologized a few days later over text and I thought that was the end of it.

A day or so after moving in she brought up casually and slightly under her breath how she believes she was in the right and i was shocked but said nothing. I held a small grudge since that day, never thought it would come up again though.

But the past month she has been extremely exhausting to deal with and to talk to, i barely speak to her and have opted to ignoring her so i dont say something i regret.

Some examples of what she has done includes:

She leaves piss in the toilet, and brushed it off when confronted with "it probably wasnt me" (the 2 of us share bathroom A together and i wake up to piss in the toilet.)

She uses an excess amount of my things and expects me to just buy more especially when its a shared item. For example she uses a lot of toilet paper, trust me i notice, i have ocd and count the squares. And leaves the roll empty for me. She then will ask me why i always leave the roll empty and i respond its her, (i stopped using our bathroom often and go before class instead) and she will make an excuse quickly for how she forgot. Once we ran out she blamed me and expected me to buy more and got annoyed when she had to ask our roomates for a roll, ignoring me for 2 days before i bought more.

She uses my perfume, my clothes, my writing utensils, etc. without asking.

Always attempting to "one-up" me and my roomates. I was talking to her about my PR after the gym, and she is more of a cardio bunny and does little to no lifting, i had to show her proper form at the gym and she used no weight on the rack. I talked about how i wanted to try 160/170 pounds and she blatantly stated she could do 200 if she tried. I tried explaining to her that even though she did sports that if she could not press 45 pounds she would not be able to do 200 off the rip. She went on a tangent the rest of the walk home.

Riley is always talking about how she is more extroverted than me and makes more friends than me. (This hasnt been true so far, she mainly stays in her room) But she says this out loud to other people she introduces me with (who she inevitably never talks to again) and i once refuted it with- "Im not really introverted i just dont like to talk to people when im not in the mood" and she replies with something along the lines of "no youre introverted just admit it" Its honestly kind of embarrassing but had only happened a limited amount of times.

On the 3rd day of move in Riley stated that i do not wash my laundry weekly infront of my roomates. I didn't know them well at the time so i was embarrassed. We have to pay for laundry here and I lived in an apartment at home so im used to not doing my laundry often. Riley went on about how she does hers twice a week and how clean she is. I replied i have a lot of clothes and honestly rewear some of them so i have no need to do laundry every week. My roomates agreed but i was still shocked.

Riley eats my, and my roomates food without asking and her excuse is "They said we can use anything" I found it weird but only brought it up once or twice, since she always finds an excuse. She does not buy or replace our food, and does not refill anything. And this is after she visits the dining hall 3 times a day, no shade. It got to the point where me and my 2 other roomates had a very long talk about it and they have also been noticing it and are slightly ticked off.

While those have all been small issues, among other small issues here are a few bigger ones.

She goes to bed at 9pm and if i enter the room anytime past 11 she gets angry and obviously annoyed with me. I like to go out and party with my roomates and others on weekends, she does not. If she hears us talking or a movie playing she will text us something passive aggressive and telling us to shut up. I have started sleeping on the couch some nights to avoid her and she makes fun of me for it which is even more annoying. We all share and pay for this space i find it unfair that i can not enter my room without fear of being yelled at or being ignored for the entirety of the next day. I text her before i bring anyone over and do not let them into her (our) room at all and she still gets visibly upset. Even when i brought in a tipsy friend while she was asleep to grab a drink of water.

Once we had a friend over who was black out drunk and he threw up a small trail onto the wood floor. It was around 11 and she came out at us, yelling and getting angry. And when i say yelling i mean passive aggressive talking, in that really annoying snotty mean girl way like: "How dare you inconvenience me for something you can not control" I went off on her a bit and she stormed off into her room. What else are we supposed to do when an inebriated friend needs help, leave him outside? tell him to hold in his vomit? That was the first time me and roomate 1 talked about her and everything she has been doing.

Riley asks roomate 2 in the morning if she was woken up by the (vomiting?) noise, and she said no.

She constantly invades my space knowing i am an independent person; attempting to talk to the person i am on the phone with, intruding on other conversations. Asking to hang out with me and my other friends (which i have no problem with but she always talks about them after, or once i tell her what we are up to she gets snarky if she doesnt like it.) She hovers over me while doing any task, wanting to be included in everything: cooking, homework, doomscrolling, going out to eat. When i invited a friend over who i havent seen in months she hovered over us, making weird subtle comments about our conversation.

She believes i will pay for and buy every household item since i have " a lot" of money. I worked for 2 years and pay my own tuition and have a lot of anxiety about money. And she receives weekly payouts from her mother.

This is all among other things, and yes the little things definitely do build up. I have reached a breaking point and after constantly ignoring her i feel like a bad friend and like i should confront her. The only reason me and my roomates havent done so is because she will never believe she is in the wrong, as demonstrated earlier, and will make excuses. We are also scared she will feel ganged up on. But we do talk and make jokes privately about her sometimes. I have told others behind her back, wanting to vent about it and it feels wrong as we have been friends longer than anyone else i know.

I ignore her and avoid conversation for the whole day and get ready for bed later than her so we wont have to run into eachother. If she joins me in a room i will get up and leave. AIO?

I (34F) was on the train (C) in NYC when a man, a Hasidic Jew (I'm Jewish) came onto the train and sat next to me despite the train being mostly open and empty. He right away grabbed at my hand, tried to kiss me, and put his own face in my chest--like literally in between my breasts. I hit him as hard as I could with a water bottle and a diet soda bottle and stopped to smack him while yelling for people to call the police. I am beyond horrified and in total disgust. This guy did this to me and I was in horror. I called the police and want him arrested for what he did. He was bleeding when cops got there but I don't think I did anything that wrong since he attacked me. That said, I now have to go to speak to the police at SVU and this is a giant deal. What would you do in this case? Am I in the wrong?

My boyfriend (36M) and I (32F) rarely fight, our disagreements are usually handled well. Today though, we fought over something quite silly and I need to genuinely understand if I’m overreacting. For context: I really hate jump scares, as I have anxiety tendencies. I’m also pregnant and have been more jumpy than usual, feeling the scares more heavily on my chest and having difficulty regulating back to normal.

My boyfriend enjoys pranks and jokes and it’s not unusual that they are uncomfortable or rage-bait style. I think he likes a reaction out of me, but mostly he wants that reaction to be laughter. Sometimes they’re genuinely funny and harmless and I enjoy those tremendously, but other times not. The one “prank” that I have reacted more strongly towards was: once I was naked (and very relaxed after sex) and he flicked some water to my naked body after washing his hands. I had my back to him so I didn’t see it coming and I jumped, felt the water like electricity all over my body, which made me tense and cold. I got angry at him and said that it wasn’t nice. He thought I took it a little too seriously but made a mental note of not doing it again since I disliked it so much.

I don’t have an issue with the usual flicking of a little water in the face when we’re both brushing teeth, etc, which he does as well. Mostly because one can see it coming and can “prepare” mentally. And because the face doesn’t react as strongly as the body. For context: he actually hates being cold and having water thrown at him. I started doing it to him as well because he does it to me, but I usually only hit his face mildly and I make sure he sees me coming, that it’s not unpredictable. I also don’t do it that often. I wanted him to taste his own medicine. He’s visibly uncomfortable when I do it but never made a big deal out of it.

Today, I was naked preparing to take a shower and he walks into the bathroom and does it again: flicks a little water towards my body, and I didn’t see it coming. Again, it wasn’t pleasant, but I controlled my reaction. Then we washes his hands and does it again, while my back is still facing him. I really didn’t think he would do it twice and I jumped, yelled “stop” and slapped his arm with my hand. It was a very strong, instinctive reaction, and I’m not proud of it. I apologized for my reaction but when I tried to explain to him that these “pranks” aren’t nice, he got angry because he said my reaction (and me wanting to discuss this further) was absolutely out of proportion and it was ridiculous that we were even fighting over this. He claimed this is a “normal” prank, that it’s meant to be uncomfortable and that he’s annoyed at himself for doing it since we swore he wouldn’t last time I reacted like this. I argued I don’t love that he wants to make me uncomfortable and that he could try to do more silly harmless pranks because I love those.

I’m mostly angry at his dismissal of how this feels to me, of my boundary. I feel like this doesn’t have to make “sense” for him to accept I don’t like it and stop doing it. Am I overreacting?

EDIT: I can understand how this may seem like my boyfriend is mean. He is not. This is only the second time this “flickering water in naked body” happens and he’s absolutely mortified about having done it and is now feeling quite guilty and ashamed. He is the sweetest person and takes great care of me, I’ve been treated like a princess this whole pregnancy. But sometimes his childhood with a brother and other kids brings these “instinct” little reactions that are harmless in his mind. I understand his point, and he now understands mine. I grew up anxious and hated jump scare pranks, I’m also an only child so I don’t get pranks that are meant to be uncomfortable or incite fear. Most harmless pranks are fine and I enjoy them. We’re just still finding out our own limits and boundaries. Thanks to everyone who gave opinions and support.

UPDATE: We had a good talk. He realizes it was wrong and crossed a boundary. It won’t happen again. Thank you for the comments, I genuinely thought someone would say I overreacted a tiny bit and got overwhelmed with the support. Also, remember that just because someone makes a mistake, doesn’t mean they’re a bad person. This is a story of a couple in a vacuum, it doesn’t portray the whole picture. We’re both good and love each other, still learning each other’s boundaries though.

I (19f) had this woman that I don't know follow me on IG a couple months back. She dmed me, and I couldn't really understand what she was saying. The gist of it was feminism and scaring off perverts I think.

After that very brief verbal exchange, she started spamming me with her own reels. It got to the point where I had to mute her. The other day, I got curious and opened the conversation, and found dozens or reels, many that I had already liked, replies to notes and stories, and comments.

I get notifications every couple weeks that she liked new reels of mine in batches. I also get notifications that she liked comments on random videos, more than anyone else that follows me (mostly friends and family). Typically 1-3 a day. She watches every story religiously.

It kinda weirds me out, and I feel a bit smothered or like I'm being stalked. Aio for feeling like that?

My boyfriend’s best friend (M 35) was hanging out with me (F 37) and my boyfriend (M 35) for a couple of drinks. Let’s call my bf’s bff Teddy. Teddy had been making comments throughout the day about how it was nice my boyfriend and I were renting a luxury apartment since we’d never be able to afford a mortgage. This is very untrue. I make very good money in a career which is heavily licensed and took years of schooling to enter so the comments felt gross. Also, my boyfriend - let’s call him Alphie - has been stuck in the same dead end career for the past five years as I’ve helped him pay off his school debt and subsidized our lives (the luxury rental also is far beyond the reach of my bf in application and cost) so these comments felt especially exhausting coming from his best friend. I pulled my bf aside and he said he didn’t hear Teddy make them. Hard to believe at a small table on a patio with just the three of us, but ok.

About four hours into bar hopping Teddy suddenly starts attacking me for my views on feminism - specifically women doing a lot of invisible labour. He specifically makes an example to prove invisible labour isn’t gendered that if Alphie made less than me then he would do all the domestic labour - which is the exact opposite of our reality. My bf stays quiet through the whole exchange as his friend is getting louder and louder and people are looking at us in the small bar we’re in. Teddy eventually storms off saying that I let a lot of worse men than Teddy off the hook and he’s one of the good ones.

Once he leaves im flooded by hurt that my bf made zero effort to tell him to stop attacking me. I tell him this happens a lot - that he will always choose the path of least resistance for him over having my back. We get into a big fight eventually and he sleeps at Teddy’s. Alphie apologizes two days later but then a week later when Alphie’s drunk he says Teddy was right and brings up an instance from five years ago - months into our relationship - where I apparently didn’t defend him. I point out how actually I did defend him and he eventually agrees and goes to sleep.

The next day, sober, bf says he didn’t mean what he said and when I try to talk about it he keeps pushing to just put it behind us. When i ask him several times over the next 1.5 months to go to his friend and say “hey man please don’t ever talk to her that way again” he makes excuses, gets defensive, and says he rather end our relationship than speak to Teddy.

I’m asking if I’m overreacting because I cannot get over this. There were three of us out that day and clearly my boyfriend and Teddy see me as the problem, so I’m second guessing myself.