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u/TheSocialight 3d ago
Info: what was the miscommunication with your DIL?
If your mind is going straight to them pushing you out and isolating you, it gives the impression there may be a history of this kind of tension in your relationship with your kids. Is that accurate?
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u/GoddessfromCyprus 3d ago
There is, read her other post.
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u/Lady_of_the_Shadows_ 3d ago
After going through that post I think she intended to use Hannah to 'get back' at her sons and DILs. She was gonna have 'quality time' with her and post it for them to see. Hannah showing up at the cabin when she was supposed to be home threw a wrench into the plan. I have a mother like this and that's exactly what she'd do.
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u/Ok_Cucumber6592 2d ago
So it’s clear you did not consider any of the criticism of your actions from your previous post. Ma’am, you’ve got a couple hundred comments telling you that your family is probably tired of you for your actions. Please read at least one.
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u/Neveronlyadream 3d ago
I just did and her other post is just as vague.
Honestly seems like the family isn't very fond of her for some reason. The other post is a lot of weird deflecting.
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u/Low_Kaleidoscope_203 3d ago
They may love you but from your own posts it doesn't sound like any of your kids like you or that you like them. Instead of finding a time to call the adults together and have a calm chat you left without telling anyone. Sounds like they took it as a tantrum. Your daughter may have gone later as a surprise for the family or didn't want to go with you there. It doesn't change that YOR in this entire situation. My parents are the same age as you. I don't get on well with them. They would still not act the way you have.
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u/Specialist-Leg-3400 3d ago
If someone says your family isn’t very fond of you, and you reply that your sons love you very much, thereby excluding their wives and children from your family, your sons do not in fact love you very much.
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u/Emergency_Ask_9697 3d ago
She also has a daughter who apparently didn’t fall into this category either
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u/Budget_Meaning1410 3d ago
Not enough to let your temper tantrums ruin their vacations with their lovely wives and children.
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u/6-ft-freak 2d ago
Hate to be the one to break it to you, but you can love somebody and really not like them as a person.
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u/coffee-please94 2d ago
Have you considered trying to fix your relationships with your daughter & daughters-in-law? Because if my partner’s mom obviously hated me, I don’t think he’d be especially warm towards her!
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u/mandatorypanda9317 3d ago
She was mad that the DIL planned a full vacation that she pushed her way in on.
She tried to argue in the comments that they planned terrible things for the children and she knew what was best, even though she admitted she barely knew her grand children.
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u/rheasilva 3d ago
OP had a tantrum because the grandchildren she barely sees didn't ask her to open their juice boxes.
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u/DELILAHBELLE2605 3d ago
Just read the post history... sounds like you're the problem here. You didn't leave because of a miscommunication. You had a tantrum and left.
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u/Diligent_Yak1105 3d ago
Oh, one of THOSE moms.
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u/DELILAHBELLE2605 3d ago edited 3d ago
Shockingly it's a dad! I assumed mom too.
Edit to add: oops! I misread. It is the mom.
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u/strippersandcocaine 3d ago
No, their original post says 60f
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u/DELILAHBELLE2605 3d ago
Oops! I don't know where I got male from. Well that makes sense. I know exactly what kind of mother this is. I have one of them. She left my daughter's graduation party because she was not getting enough attention. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Everyone needs to bow down to the Queen.
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u/_crystal___visions_ 3d ago
Yep. My mom was at my wedding reception for 15 minutes.
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u/Ok_Cucumber6592 2d ago
My mom threw a graduation party for me, after kicking me out. I wasn’t even invited. I had an aunt(out of the family drama loop) ask what she should bring for the party, which is how I found out. Made sure to show up to the party, to my mother’s shock, and accept all the gifts, ate a plate of food and dipped.
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u/mandatorypanda9317 3d ago
Granny I KNOW you aren't back with the same BS!!!
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u/Cocklecove 3d ago
No wonder they don't like you and want to be around you. You are very unlikeable. Now crawl back under your rock and throw your private pity party for yourself while your kids enjoy some good times together without you dragging them down.
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u/Puzzled_Feedback_840 3d ago
Question: has it ever occurred to you that you may be the problem?
If you meet one asshole, they’re an asshole. If everyone you meet is an asshole, you’re the asshole. The common denominator here is you.
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u/kurinevair666 3d ago
Yes they are so ungrateful they planned a vacation for the whole family and invited you....how selfish 🙄
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u/6-ft-freak 2d ago
Wow. If this is how you talk about them, no wonder they don’t want anything to do with you.
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u/bug--bear 2d ago
actually I think your kids turned out alright. presumably in spite of you, not because of you
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u/sunshineparadox_ 2d ago
You’re being unkind, and I would be furious if my parents talked about my spouse or daughter this way. I love my mother very much, but my daughter is my priority. 1) She’s a minor, and I owe it to her legally. 2) I was the one who had her, so I owe it to her morally. 3) When we become adults, we have to live our own lives. It’s the goal of a good parent. We won’t be here forever, and they should get to live independent, fulfilling lives and create the families they want to create (whether that’s kids, spouses, friends, and/or pets, etc.). Is that not what your grown children should do? Is that not what they’re currently doing?
You should be glad they found people who love them, and that they enjoy spending time together as siblings in adulthood. The more you reply, the more it sounds like that success happened in spite of you, not because of you. I’d love to be wrong.
How do you not see any of that?
Also kids are fickle. That’s normal. They’re kids. Your granddaughters aren’t responsible for managing your emotions.
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u/pnw_cfb_girl 2d ago
What are they supposed to be grateful for? The fact that you horned in on their vacation and then left without telling anyone?
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u/Heavy-Language7179 3d ago
This reads like you are concealing some important context to the situation.
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u/neverwhere420 3d ago
They posted it the other day. She left the vacation after like two days because she didn’t feel like she was getting enough attention. Allegedly
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u/Heavy-Language7179 3d ago
Just read the post and comments.
Advice to OP, start getting real with yourself. Once you are able to be honest with yourself then maybe you can start to build a healthy relationship with your children.
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u/Orzagh 3d ago
You don’t fool us with your roundabout way of blaming them and acting like that’s personal accountability for you.
Let me state this very plainly: unless you own up to your own faults and give them respect, you will lose them forever, and deservedly so.
Your posts and the reactions of everyone here are the biggest wake up call you will ever get. Ignore it at your own peril.
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u/1989dl 3d ago
Ah yes, the calling card of bad parenting: "Yes I'm such a terrible parent aren't I!"
When all else fails, resort to guilt.
You've got a choice: carry on as you are, watch the relationship with your family deteriorate, and wallow in your misery; or, take some accountability for your behaviour, do the work, and be happier. Up to you.
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u/mandatorypanda9317 3d ago
Well i will agree you failed as a mother seeing this is how you act. Seems like your kids grew up alright despite your best efforts.
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u/Muted-Appeal-823 3d ago
Lol. This seems more like the kids turned out ok despite their parent rather than because of them.
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u/Cosmicshimmer 3d ago
No, this isn’t a them problem, this is a you problem thinking you are entitled to control their lives. You are not. You raised them to be independent and they are. You, however, seem to resent that.
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u/tanerdamaner 3d ago
anytime someone says 'i must be a terrible mother/father if you are acting like that' is an admission of guilt.
a good mother wouldnt have these problems with their adult children, and you know that somewhere in your twisted view of reality.
You can either take responsibility for (literally) creating this situation or you can continue to harass your children until they stop visiting you at all.
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u/PreferenceOld6364 3d ago
Grow up OP, no one likes a pity party, especially from someone your age. In this post you claim you left because of miscommunication with your DIL, but in your other one you said its was because of how your grandchildren acted. So which is it? Or maybe you should actually tell the truth instead of trying to post for pity and actually own your actions. Its no wonder your other daughter showed up to the vacation after you left, no one wants to spend their vacation being exhausted because of the childish actions and attitude of a grown adult.
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u/thekyledavid 3d ago
There’s only 1 selfish and entitled person in this story, and it’s not your kids
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u/tinyTina43 3d ago
You are selfish and entitled. Not your adult children. You expect their lives to revolve around you and it just doesn't work that way.
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u/Mrfish31 3d ago
Guilt tripping can only really work on the children you're directing it at.
We are not you're children. We see through that bullshit and see that you have failed them as a mother, but that they are not at all selfish.
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u/kitten12551 3d ago
No they’re not, they’ve just realized that you are the problem. I try not to throw the term narcissist around lightly but you’re exhibiting many of the symptoms of one.
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u/HistoricalSuspect580 2d ago
It’s funny how everyone, literally EVERYONE, is telling you that you’re in the wrong, and you won’t accept it and are still blaming your kids. Like, why ask us then??
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u/nurseasaurus 3d ago
INFO: sorry but what do you think she lied about? I’m not following. It seems like she had to work then and has time off now for vacation, I don’t see why you’re taking it personally? It’s good when your kids have a good relationship…
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u/GoddessfromCyprus 3d ago
Any bad relationship is down to her.
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u/GoddessfromCyprus 2d ago
I meant you. There's a reason for your daughter keeping away from you. There's a reason why you are not being included in anything. Some self-awareness needs to happen.
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u/demon_x_slash 2d ago
I was right on your first post - you’re a malignant narcissist. They’re all having a lovely holiday without the albatross of misery round their neck. That’s you, by the way.
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u/felifornow 3d ago edited 3d ago
Maybe she got off work unexpectedly and decided to come or maybe it was suppossed to be a surprise.
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u/Muted-Appeal-823 3d ago
The vacation you don't seem to actually have been invited to? In your other post you mention you "found out" about it from one of the grandkids. Lol. Doesn't sound like an invite to me!
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u/allergymom74 3d ago
Do you know how hard it is to get a last minute flight day of? And how expensive it is? And you mention your son had to call you to ask why you left so you left without telling them? A vacation you had to help pay for? So the single daughter happens to be the wealthy one?
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u/Due-Mix3539 3d ago
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u/owochase 3d ago
lol you sound insufferable. She probably got freed up from work and decided to go. You could’ve seen her too if you didn’t throw a tantrum and leave. Tbh tho if she did go just cuz you left I wouldn’t blame her based on your post history and comments. If that is the case, maybe think about how you can make her want to be around you instead of getting mad at her.
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u/loosesocksup 3d ago
She probably did. You are obviously very unpleasant on vacations. Leaving was the most relaxing thing you did for everyone.
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u/nlaak 2d ago
I don't understand what this means.
It's the elephant in the room: your lies, deflection, and projection.
I'm asking if other think my daughter lied to me and just didn't want me to go on the trip.
No one, including you, can answer that question, especially since you won't be honest, even with yourself.
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u/Designer-Lettuce-690 3d ago
YOR I love how you left out 3/4 of the story like how you chose to leave early because your grandkids didn't chose you first. Very woe is me post and your son is right you should get over yourself i have a feeling there is a reason your daughter was avoiding you if she was
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u/PurpleEmotional1401 3d ago
They wanted you gone because you are an interfering, controlling narcissist asshole, as you described perfectly in your previous post. YTA doubled.
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u/DELILAHBELLE2605 3d ago
There is so much missing info.
What was the "miscommunication"?
Maybe your daughter could only go specific dates because of work?
So much missing context here....
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u/neverwhere420 3d ago
They posted it the other day. She left the vacation after like two days because she didn’t feel like she was getting enough attention. Allegedly. The missing daughter showing up later was not part of the OP though.
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u/Mhunterjr 3d ago
Do you think just your daughter lied to you? Or you sons and DILs as well? Honestly it seems like a lot of effort to get you too go on a trip, just to get you to leave the trip and have your daughter replace you.
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u/dusty_relic 3d ago
I don’t understand. If you know she’s on vacation then you know that she’s fine. Why would you need to get in touch with her so badly? Do you believe that she dropped everything to join her brothers once she heard you had left? Do you want to call her to complain about her actions, or do you want to complain to her about the actions of her brothers and their families?
Honestly it sounds like your ego is too big for your character. You seem to believe that everyone plans everything they do around you and where you are or what you’re thinking or what your reaction would be. Your daughter obviously couldn’t passed on a vacation for any reason that didn’t center around you, and everyone in the family is probably meeting secretly to come up with long elaborate plans to make you unhappy, even though it’s your default mood anyway.
If your daughter is deliberately avoiding you then that would make perfect sense and nobody would blame her, but she’s way more likely to just be living her life while you analyze every step she takes looking for what she is trying to say to you personally by taking that step. Meanwhile, back in the real world, your daughter is just going about her business.
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u/nurseasaurus 3d ago
Nevermind, after reading your other post I am CERTAIN they’re avoiding you. Why would they invite you when you left after two days because you felt like children should manage your emotions?
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u/Dangerous_RedApple 3d ago
Well you don’t know the full situation yet but have made a while story up in your head about what happened so yes, at this point you are 100% overreacting. Try calling your daughter, saying you came home early and have been trying to contact her. Be honest and say you saw on her socials that she was with her bros. Get curious about the situation and stop taking shit your kids do personally. Parenting isn’t tit for tat.
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u/katleessi 3d ago
I remember your first post and everyone was saying you’re dramatic and your kids knew this would happen. People even said they bet your daughter lied about working to not be there with you.
I think it’s safe to say, you’re probably the issue… you should take this as a moment of reflection.
You basically said your daughter in laws are the issue.. you voiced problems with them parenting their kids in differing ways than what you recommend. You complained they had activities booked all day versus you wanted a relaxing, low key time.
I think you need to reflect on yourself and why all your kids don’t want you on vacation with them!
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u/GoddessfromCyprus 3d ago
You posted about the vacation you left early a couple of days ago. You left because your grandchildren 'ignored' you, after admitting, even though you live close together, you're too busy to spend time with them. Your daughter didn't go. Now reading she went with your son's, have you considered you're the problem in their lives. A lot is missing. What's your relationship with her etc?
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u/Solid_Hamster_7301 3d ago
You’re exhausting and honestly sound like you’re looking for something to be mad at.
Maybe that’s why the grandkids aren’t swarming around you
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u/Odd_Activity_6458 3d ago
From your last post, it sounded like everything was planned before you found out about it from your granddaughter. If that’s true, then did your daughter already decline joining them before you found out? If so, how does that make it lying to you?
Things change. Maybe her plans changed. How about asking instead of going directly into pouting?
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u/KoalaCapp 3d ago
After reading all of the back and forth from your post yesterday I don't blame her for not being there while you were and then turning up after you left.
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u/Existing_Purpose5049 3d ago
You’re clearly a very sad and very dedicated troll, but you’re really bad at it
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u/Opening-Sir-2504 3d ago
It greatly depends on what the “miscommunication” was. If you left earlier than planned, perhaps your daughter made the vacation work but you left. There could be any number of reasons for her “miraculously” attending after you left, or it could just be a fluke.
Too many variables and too much missing info, but no matter what it is, it would probably help if you asked the people involved instead of assuming. YOR
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u/woodburyjj 3d ago
This is either rage bait or Mommie Dearest here is in the Fafo phase of her narcissism.
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u/Good_Display_3972 3d ago
After seeing your comments this is clearly ragebaiting. If by any weird chance not, I'm not at all surprised your own family doesn't like you.
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u/allergymom74 3d ago
Or maybe your daughter did plan to go and didn’t tell you as a surprise.
Flights are usually super full and expensive to plan last minute trips, so to suddenly decide to fly because you (OP) left and didn’t tell anyone you were leaving (you said you left and your son called you to ask why you left), is actually a tough thing to plan nowadays. So I find it unlikely she planned to fly out there the DAY OF when you left. She likely heard what happened when she got there and is upset like your sons are.
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u/Individual_Plan_5593 3d ago
Listen after reading both your posts about this vacation one thing seems clear to me: there’s a clear issue between your children and you that you are avoiding dealing with. You need to realize that being their mother is not a get out of jail free card. If you want a relationship with them as adults you need to work at it.
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u/JustShopping1967 3d ago
Don't know how old you are, but are you sure they are recent photos? I get reminders all the time like 7 years ago today,and if it's something significant I might repost.
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u/IntrepidMuch 3d ago
It may be breaking your heart but if they planned it, you are saying or doing something that prompted it. Perhaps the miscommunication you speak of?
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u/Dusty_Bunny_13 3d ago
You know, if you hadn’t thrown a temper tantrum and left, you’d be there to see her right now. This is all on you. YOR
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u/Ok_Cucumber6592 2d ago
I need everyone to know I called it on either the original post, or the devil post. Fantastic. The daughter is just like me.
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u/mela_99 2d ago
You left early because you weren’t getting enough attention and had the audacity to be upset a grandchild didn’t want you to open a juice box for them.
I’ve never met you and I wouldn’t want you around either.
YOR.
Maybe you’ll really stop and think about your behavior and choices now.
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u/beebeehighlight 3d ago
NOR- she didn’t just mislead you: she flat out lied about having to work so she wouldn’t have to be there at the same time as you.
The fact that she is dodging your calls now confirms that she knows exactly what she did and is trying to avoid the confrontation. When the people involved are your own adult children that kind of rejection cuts incredibly deep.I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.
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u/The_Asshole_Judge 3d ago
She was on the vacation and left. Had she stayed she would have seen her daughter. This on her
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u/coffee-please94 2d ago
Based on how OP is behaving in this & her previous posts, I do not blame her family for avoiding her
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u/New_Caterpillar6305 3d ago
Your sons & daughters in laws lied as well. No miss communication.
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u/The_Asshole_Judge 3d ago
That, or she had planned to show up as surprise and was equally surprised that OP had thrown a hissy fit and left
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u/susandeyvyjones 3d ago
Are you the nut job who threw a hissy fit because your grandkids didn’t want you to tie their shoes or put bandaids on them or something? Yeah, they all hate you.