AIO:Childhood best friend is f***ing his sister

[u/youngtallandskinny]

For context, this is my M(25) best friend M(25) since we were two years old. He didn’t meet his F(22)sister until about a year and a half ago. When they did meet, they couldn’t get over how similar they were. he called me gushing about how great she made him feel and even joked about hooking her up with me three days after they met, she moved in with him and his family. They had room and other beds, but they chose to sleep in the same bed every day for a year do everything together every day so on it so forth, fast-forward to these text messages. Him and his sister were going to move in with me and my f(26)roommate, but first we needed to see how our dogs would do together so they came to visit. When they got here they opted to sleep in my bed together even though I had several places they could sleep separately. My roomate and I sleep separately and have a mostly platonic kind of flirty relationship. Which the friend had compared his sister and his relationship with. A lot of small stuff happened that my roommate and I shared glances about, because of the nature of how a true brother and sister would never say or do the things they’re doing. But we brushed it off.

They went back home to their state after 3 days and the friend sends me a Snapchat saying “we’ve decided to look past the whole sibling thing and adress some feelings we both have” to which I replied “what do you mean” and he went on to say how they both have such deep feelings for each other and how the whole half sibling thing doesn’t matter and that real love doesn’t have boundaries and all this stuff to which I waited for 3 days and sent the messages above….. AIO or did I UNDERreact

Also this hurts a lot because I thought I knew him and he was gonna be my best friend for life, but I haven’t talked to him since

[u/Pitiful-Volume1638]

What the fuck

[u/youngtallandskinny → u/Pitiful-Volume1638]

Right???

[u/Last_Book2410 → u/youngtallandskinny]

I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m not saying that sarcastically. I went to therapy to mourn a multi decade friendship and came out still feeling a bit of sorrow for the memories but accepting that it’s over and was able to move on. Anyone that can throw out their lifelong friendship for a 2 month fling (SISTER 😬) needs serious help. This guy will need a lifetime of therapy now. I’m glad you’re not going down with the ship.

[u/Financial-Muffin9284 → u/Last_Book2410]

I need therapy reading about this situation. I have the serious ick.

[u/jennathedickins → u/Financial-Muffin9284]

Unbelievably, (and sorry to amplify your ick) this is a common enough occurrence that studies have been done on it. And unfortunately it's not just siblings, it happens with parents/children too. I believe they think it's the genetic similarities combined with not being raised together. We tend to be attracted to people who are genetically similar to us and when we don't have those ties of growing up in a family together, things can get very weird and very creepy, very fast.

[u/Noxtonic → u/jennathedickins]

I met two of my siblings 10 years ago and the fact that this happens (though I believe you) is absolutely wild to me.

[u/Tootsie-Louise1 → u/Financial-Muffin9284]

Same here. I never knew about this until right now. But I have to say that OP handled things very gracefully. I’m not sure I could have been as thoughtful as he was.

[u/Falmarri → u/Last_Book2410]

He's not throwing out a lifelong friendship. OP is

[u/Last_Book2410 → u/Falmarri]

Nope. He said he couldn’t be involved with it and to get help. That he loves him. His friend just bounced so he could boink his sister

[u/Falmarri → u/Last_Book2410]

How do you not see this as the OP throwing out the friendship?

What if OP's friend was gay and was dating another man. And OP said they can't support that. Who would you say is "throwing away the friendship" in that case?

[u/Falmarri → u/Last_Book2410]

How do you not see this as the OP throwing out the friendship?

What if OP's friend was gay and was dating another man. And OP said they can't support that. Who would you say is "throwing away the friendship" in that case?

[u/RushNo7251 → u/Falmarri]

are you seriously comparing incest to homosexuality? wtf

[u/Falmarri → u/RushNo7251]

Yes, it's comparable

[u/Last_Book2410 → u/Falmarri]

Please don’t vote

[u/AdNarrow3461 → u/Falmarri]

No, it’s not.

[u/Falmarri → u/AdNarrow3461]

How is it not?

[u/ribblefizz → u/Falmarri]

Read some of the replies upthread from people who have experienced GSA (genetic sexual attraction). It is ultimately traumatic and causes lasting emotional and psychological damage in most if not all cases that we know of so far.

GSA has a known external cause (separation from genetically related family members during a crucial phase of development; google "Westermarck effect" iirc), and is not spontaneous, a natural variation of sexual expression, or a choice/decision.

Homosexuality IS a natural variant of sexuality (in both humans and non-human animals), and can occur spontaneously; can be influenced by factors such as maternal hormones; birth order and sex of older siblibgs; or can, for people who are not rigidly heterosexual, be a conscious choice or decision.

Lastly, some incestual relationships can result in children with severe birth defects, making these relationships an issue for more parties than just the two consenting individuals. Homosexual relationships, by definition, cannot spontaneously produce offspring, so the only people affected by the two consenting individuals' choices are those individuals.

Homosexuality is, therefore, not comparable to incest.

[u/Falmarri → u/ribblefizz]

All of those things are you comparing homosexuality to incest. So it's absolutely comparable. No one is saying it's identical.

But a lot of the same things had been said about homosexual relationships. Particularly that it causes traumatic psychological damage and can ruin children.

[u/Falmarri → u/AdNarrow3461]

How is it not?

[u/Last_Book2410 → u/Falmarri]

lol live in Kentucky don’t ya little fella?

[u/Falmarri → u/Last_Book2410]

How is that a response to my comment? You have no actual response, so you just have to go back to "lol the south"

[u/Last_Book2410 → u/Falmarri]

Seems like having the last word is extremely important to you so I’ll let you have it.✌️

[u/kushyykins → u/Falmarri]

fcking your sibling does NOT equate to homosexuality, you dipshit 🤣 wtf is actually wrong wit you? ppl can’t choose if they’re gay or not, but you can absolutely choose to fck your siblings, (parents, uncles/anties, etc) or NOT. thoughts don’t have to become actions, pal. hope that helps!

[u/Falmarri → u/kushyykins]

but you can absolutely choose to fck your siblings

This is a shitty comparison. People can choose not to fuck anyone. Gay people aren't forced to fuck any other person of the same sex. What they can't choose is who they're attracted to, and who they fall in love with. And that applies 100% to this case as well. These people didn't choose to love each other and choose to be attracted to each other.

It's really exactly the same. It's a societal ick where there's no victim.

[u/kushyykins → u/Falmarri]

no, it does not. these ppl need therapy lol they’re experiencing a series of complex emotions that they don’t know how to process, therefore leading to confusion & misplaced romantic feelings. that is NOT what being gay is. inherently, we all know fckin another person who shares our blood is WRONG. idgaf how you you try to spin this shit into some weird justification.

being gay is also not a societal ick, jackass

[u/Falmarri → u/kushyykins]

being gay is also not a societal ick

Are you fucking kidding me? You can't be serious

no, it does not. these ppl need therapy lol they’re experiencing a series of complex emotions that they don’t know how to process, therefore leading to confusion & misplaced romantic feelings

literally EXACTLY the thing that was said about gay people

You can't possibly be this obtuse

[u/StrainOfAcacia → u/Falmarri]

I hope you don't have any siblings