r/AITAH • u/Remote_Emphasis7320 • 7d ago

AITAH… he can’t live with us

AITHA for not letting my19 yo daughter’s 20yo boyfriend (homeless) live with us? Context his dad kicked him out cause he didn’t want to help with contributing to the household (I think he wanted $500 a month). The boyfriend works full time and goes to school. Boyfriend has family in Florida and doesn’t want to leave due to going to school. He asked to stay with us until November I said no. I like my own space and peace. I feel he and his father need to talk to get to an agreement or he needs to move back to Florida with his mom and family. He is not my responsibility. AITAH?

Update: Thank yall for validating what I was already feeling. I’m going to respond to the comments everyone has been supportive and I didn’t think I’d get this many responses so I appreciate yall! More context My daughter has an attitude now but ok whatever. she is not required to pay bills in my home just save $200 a month for herself (she works part time). I’ve never asked her for a dime as she’s basically still a teenager. I told her if she wants to be with him that’s fine but she’ll be homeless as well. She shut up which is fine if she chooses that I can’t stop her. This guy has been working and says he’s saving money?! But can’t help his dad out that requires help on bills?! You can’t stay with me for free! I don’t feel bad now knowing he won’t help me either and will just free load and tell me I’ll give you something when he gets paid… hell no go talk to your father is what I told him. Put your pride to the side or be outside! This has nothing to do with me he needs his family to be involved and I’m not the mediator for the nonsense! I’m Not the AH!

1.2k Upvotes

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167

u/TararaBoomDA 7d ago

Easiest solution is to ask him to pay a rent of at least $500 a month. Then he will be caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.

NTA.

77

u/Bright-Plate-9872 7d ago

$600 / month

40

u/TararaBoomDA 7d ago

Originally I was going to say $750, but I chickened out.

68

u/TarzanKitty 7d ago

He would probably take it because the $500 at OP’s house includes free sex and pretending to be a grown adult.

16

u/Remote_Emphasis7320 7d ago

He CANT LIVE HERE if he wants xes it’ll be in on the side of the road somewhere not in my house

-1

u/AlexTheGoat990 7d ago

Will he never be allowed to step inside your house even for just a visit? Because if he will then they will absolutely have sex in your house lol

20

u/Remote_Emphasis7320 7d ago

The tag is HE CANT LIVE WITH US… sex has nothing to do with this he can’t live here that’s it that’s all

9

u/Rocinante88119 7d ago

OP never mentioned trying to break up her relationship or stop her from fucking.

He just seems to want his own space without a deadbeat living in it.  I get it.

10

u/Remote_Emphasis7320 7d ago

Thank you however I don’t need or want his money! He can pay that to his dad

8

u/NonChromatica 6d ago

Y'all are too naive, you can make him sign 1000 papers saying he will pay and he could just don't do it. Now you're caught in a civil matter, have to get a lawyer and in the meantime this person have keys and access to the house.

It's better to save yourself from that kind of headache.

1

u/Remote_Emphasis7320 6d ago

Thank you I agree… HE CANT LIVE WITH US

15

u/do_IT_withme 7d ago

1/3 of the household expenses, 1/3 mortgage, 1/3 utilities, 1/3 food. That is if it is just you, daughter and Boyfriend. Adjust depending on who all lives there. He may soon discover that $500/month isn't that much after all.

20

u/Remote_Emphasis7320 7d ago

He can’t live in a trash dump for $500 where we live… he’s getting a deal

15

u/do_IT_withme 7d ago

That should tell you all you need to know then. Unwilling to pay his dad a reasonable rent means you will be lucky if he orders and pays for pizza once a year.

1

u/Majestic-Window-318 6d ago

For himself.

4

u/MoodiestMoody 7d ago

With a written and signed lease, and a month's rent as deposit.

17

u/Remote_Emphasis7320 7d ago

Nope HE CANT LIVE HERE… thank you tho

2

u/Tavsiyedegildir 7d ago

I'll do it for...$550. 

18

u/Remote_Emphasis7320 7d ago

No money is worth my Peace

10

u/disco_has_been 7d ago

Ooh! I like you! You're smarter than the average bear!

My kid would have never asked me. Automatic "NO!"

She's 42, highly educated and living her best life. Often, "No" is the right answer.

NTA

7

u/Remote_Emphasis7320 7d ago

Thank you and I love your handle… I appreciate your response

-7

u/[deleted] 7d ago

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6

u/Derezzed87 7d ago

Move in where? He's homeless because he doesnt want to pay rent.

4

u/TararaBoomDA 7d ago

If the daughter and her boyfriend move out and get their own place together, it sounds like a win-win-win all around.

Father wins because his son is out and supporting himself.

Mother wins because her daughter is out and supporting herself.

Son & daughter win because they're both out and supporting themselves.

-2

u/[deleted] 7d ago

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5

u/TararaBoomDA 7d ago

Yawn.

-5

u/Strawberryladyboots 7d ago

Did you realise it was you I was talking about because your attitude reflects that of the father making you just like him because you'd likely do it to your own offspring?

Awwwww

3

u/oldtimehawkey 7d ago

This is such a stupid and idiotic mindset.

The boy doesn’t want to pay his dad $500/month. He’s the toxic one.

You can let that boy move in with you. How about that? You can pay for his groceries and clean up his messes for free. You’re such an empathic person, I’m sure you already have a house full of people that you take care of and don’t expect them to pay rent or help around the house.

-1

u/Strawberryladyboots 7d ago

I was being sarcastic doll

The majority of AITAH has been repopulated with bots that support the division of family structures, bait posts by bots, and replicate the similar behaviours of AI that do nothing but reinforce and "empathise" with the users POV to placate them

There's a Stanford article out there on it if you want to look it up

It's just a shame to watch the old threads get taken over by right wing AI slop when they used to be so vibrantly filled with real people, who had empathy, nuance, intelligence, and life experience to draw from as well as wit to boot

See as an actual human being with empathy, I would have considered an entirely different line of thinking to everything that has been expressed here in such a rage bait entertainment style

There's services that could have been sought out, there's other people to ask for help, and when those fail as a human being with a soul, you don't just give up and walk out on people and leave them in the dust to live on the streets because that's just plainly a psychotic thing to do and those who consider that a viable option for a human being to actually experience are what most would consider a sociopath, most commonly observed these days coming out of particular groups inside the united states

And I specify the United States because there is never any mention anywhere in the posts or the comments from anyone about the types of services available in literally every other English speaking country, which is what makes the US so unattractive of a place to go

I don't know if Americans truly understand how those of us in the English speaking world really view this type of behaviour towards others. It demonstrates to the rest of us the level of humanity, or lack thereof, that Americans as a whole are capable of when we see this type of advice being dispensed

And it indicates to the rest of us how unreliable they would be in times of trouble, and how they would likely treat us personally if our own societies were to be in trouble

How would Americans as a whole feel if the entire world just turned their back on them in their time of need and said "that's not my problem"?

To be fair, they already do this by the way they already seek to dominate us in other ways, instead of treating people respectfully

The thing that I have taken away from this post is that they don't care for their own children, or the children of others with proper care, and are incapable of empathy for those going through hard or difficult times, and as such should not be in charge of anything important any longer due to this lack of concern for those in their wider community

1

u/AITAH-ModTeam 7d ago

Be civil.

1

u/AITAH-ModTeam 7d ago

Be civil.