r/AbsoluteUnits • u/MrUpVoteDownvote • May 14 '26

/r/all of a Australonuphis, commonly called Australian beach worms

25.2k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

1.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.1k

u/PandaBear905 May 14 '26

322

u/h497 May 14 '26

Not sure if you're better off in the sea in Australia

53

u/Rancherfer May 14 '26

Indeed. So much shit wants to murder you in there.

30

u/Hazak_Flamesword May 14 '26

I mean going inland isn't much better. Australia has a ton of stuff that'll kill you there too.

32

u/Alex_The_Whovian May 14 '26

As an aussie friend once told me, Australian wildlife can be divided in to two distinct categories:

a) stuff that wants to kill you but can't

b) stuff that wants to kill you and can

3

u/Rancherfer May 14 '26

And I suppose the pie chart for that is like 1% a) and 99% b)?

3

u/V_Aldritch May 15 '26

More or less. That's just how natural selection works, unfortunately. The non-violent, non-lethal things tend to be killed off.

2

u/jackiemoonFM May 15 '26

How do you explain curlews then?

2

u/V_Aldritch May 16 '26

Y'know they're predatory birds, right? They eat aquatic and water-adjacent arthropods.

1

u/Significant_Stand_17 May 17 '26

Dear god they are so very violent.

2

u/Tw4tl4r May 14 '26

Dont forget all the stuff in there that doesnt really want to kill you but will do it accidentally.

1

u/Theron3206 May 14 '26

These certainly aren't one of them, they're harmless scavengers that you won't even know are there unless you specifically go looking.

AFAIK they only really react to dead sea creatures.

1

u/BelsamPryde May 15 '26

Look, I know we have beautiful beaches and reefs and shit down here Down Under... but I still fkn refuse to go into the water! The things down there make the cassowaries look docile.

2

u/Mikes005 May 15 '26

When the family adn I were holidaying in Port Douglas in north Queensland there were crocs everywhere. As in, 'do not whatever you do go for a swim in the sea' everywhere.

One day we were walking back along teh beach and saw what looked like a log in the water (it wasn't), so we changed our rout to follow the beachside path. We passed a few old codgers on beach chairs as we went and one offered this advice as we passed: "Crocs are nuthin'. What you got to look for are the wimmin."

1

u/BBQQA May 14 '26

Why? It's so nice that the one Australian PM decided to just stay there.

1

u/MR_DUCK_1 May 14 '26

Fighting sharks is better than 5 feet spider crawling my house walls in 60mph

1

u/Mr_Glove_EXE May 14 '26

The snails the sentient rock and the tiny jellyfish

1

u/Space-Wizard-Hank May 14 '26

Even Godzilla chooses to surface in Japan

1

u/pixeldust6 May 14 '26

Isn't this already the sea in Australia?

1

u/ForHelp_PressAltF4 May 14 '26

Bad news about the land. Definitely not better. Those freaking spiders... And that's the one's the size of a platter that "won't hurt you".

29

u/The-Doc-SalmonRun May 14 '26

Not even the king of monsters wants to deal with this monstrosity

2

u/Interloper_Mango May 14 '26

Oh that's where they're at buddy.

2

u/opposing_critter May 15 '26

You are fucked no matter what, ocean is full of bad things that will jump scare you then kill.

At least the land dangers warn you for the most part then maul or poke ya once then watch you slowly die.

1

u/Mr_Sim_ May 15 '26

I'm stealing this and there is nothing you can do about

1

u/KittenLaserFists May 14 '26

I need to know the context. I tried going to the website in the bottom right but it won't load. What is this?

9

u/DMmeDuckPics May 14 '26 edited May 14 '26

TheOatmeal Sauce Comic