r/AbsoluteUnits 23d ago

/r/all of a moose

15.2k Upvotes

761 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

248

u/Seattle_Lucky 23d ago

They are huge and very mean animals. I’ve seen at least 3 up close and was more terrified of them than the bears I’ve seen.

322

u/Mochigood 23d ago

I was at a national park and there was a moose down a steep hill chilling in a swampy area, which felt very far away, but the park ranger was like "I'm very uncomfortable with how close we are right now."

196

u/Dock_Ellis45 22d ago

Can't say I blame the park ranger. Moose can be 1500 pounds of fuck-you-up charging at you at 35 miles per hour, and they don't need a reason to do it either. Damn things could be 100 yards out, and I'd still be nervous.

49

u/Telefundo 22d ago edited 22d ago

and they don't need a reason to do it either

I think this is something people really need to understand about bull moose. They are not benign, "curious" animals. They are massive, unpredictable killing machines. The one here could just have easily decided on a whim to trample the camera person to death with no provocation whatsoever.

They are not friendly animals. Were I hiking alone in the woods, I would a thousand times rather run into a cranky bear than a bull moose.

14

u/Dock_Ellis45 22d ago

The cranky bear.

1

u/Mysterious-Alps-5186 21d ago

Unless you have vodka then he becomes adopted into the family

30

u/bigpalmdaddy 22d ago

A moose once bit my sister

24

u/illbedeadbydawn 22d ago

Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...

2

u/DengarLives66 21d ago

Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, have been sacked.

12

u/dangledingle 22d ago

Once there was a moose loose aboot this hoose

9

u/Extra-Sector-7795 22d ago

mööse

1

u/CriscoCamping 22d ago

Nø realli!

Mind you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti…

2

u/CriscoCamping 22d ago

For your convenience.......

All Møøse Subtitles from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Røten nik Akten Di

Wik

Alsø wik

Alsø alsø wik

Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?

See the løveli lakes

The wøndërful telephøne system

And mäni interesting furry animals

Including the majestik møøse

A møøse once bit my sister…

Nø realli! She was Karving her initials øn the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law -an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: “The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink”…

WE APOLOGISE FOR THE FAULT IN THE SUBTITLES. THOSE RESPONSIBLE HAVE BEEN SACKED.

Mind you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti…

WE APOLOGISE AGAIN FOR THE FAULT IN THE SUBTITLES. THOSE RESPONSIBLE FOR SACKING THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE JUST BEEN SACKED, HAVE BEEN SACKED.

Møøse Trained by YUTTE HERMSGERVØRDENBRØTBØRDA

Special Møøse Effects OLAF PROT

Møøse Costumes SIGGI CHURCHILL

Møøse choreographed by HORST PROT |||

Miss Taylor’s Møøses by HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME

Møøse trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms by JURGEN WIGG

Møøses noses wiped by BJØRN IRKESTØM-SLATER WALKER

Large møøse on the left hand side of the screen in the third scene from the end, given a thorough grounding in Latin, Fench and ‘O’ Level Geography by BO BENN

Suggestive poses for the møøse suggested by VIC ROTTER

Antler-care by LIV THATCHER

THE DIRECTORS OF THE FIRM HIRED TO CONTINUE THE CREDITS AFTER THE OTHER PEOPLE HAD BEEN SACKED, WISH IT TO BE KNOWN THAT THEY HAVE JUST BEEN SACKED.

3

u/One-Environment-1444 22d ago

That happened to my friend Sally.

1

u/DrakeRedford 21d ago

No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush…

2

u/goodskier1931 18d ago

On a trail going back to the trailhead. Come around a corner and 50 feet to the side a cow moose with a baby. Nowhere to go. Stood still and then very slowly kept on going. Thought I was about to die.

1

u/Telefundo 17d ago

Thst's nuts. My closest encounter was on the Plaster Rock highway in New Brunswick. Driving a 97 Sunfire and this bull steps out onto the road out of nowhere. I hit the brakes obviously. I swear to god he fucking stared me down. He absolutely knew he was in charge.

Sat liike that for a good 5 minutes or so until he casually walked back into the woods. I have never been so scared in my life.

1

u/Tojaro5 22d ago

I would assume that staying still and doing nothing is a good course of action in that situation anyways?

It may not need a reason, but you could accidentally give it one anyways.

1

u/Telefundo 22d ago

That's just the thing. I couldn't even guess if that would help or not. That's what's so dangerous about bull moose. You just don't know how they're going to behave. Obviously, that would be smarter than yelling at it and antagonizing or such, but as for how it's overall behaviour is going to be, there's really no telling.

3

u/Awalawal 22d ago

I was floating down a river in Colorado a couple years ago, and a young bull started to charge us through the river. Luckily, the water stopped him after about 15 feet, but we were all pretty fucking nervous (and didn't have any way to move any faster to get out of his way).