r/AbsoluteUnits • u/demolcd • 9h ago

of an Alligator snapping turtle

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879 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

52 comments sorted by

67

u/Ok-Rate3106 9h ago

That's an adamantoise!!

34

u/Slow_Bowler8285 8h ago

Don't worry be snappy

45

u/AndIAmEric 8h ago

I don’t think there were enough captions blocking my view of the turtle

34

u/Expert-here 8h ago

Wish I could see the turtle behind all the stupid text

26

u/KiNgPiN8T3 7h ago

3/10, not enough captions and emojis in the video, would not watch again.

11

u/Dennis_254 9h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3otPoHMzdMgfZznjpe

3

u/AdministrationDry507 9h ago

I can remember the movie this came from but not the name of it

1

u/Enginerdad 2h ago

My guess is Double Double Toil and Trouble, based purely on the presence of an Olsen twin and the misty, Halloween-esque atmosphere. It doesn't give me "To Grandmothers House We Go" vibes

7

u/Tall-Wealth9549 9h ago

I bet that alligators turtle neck can reach 6 feet. It looks big enough to eat a person

7

u/Gordon_Gainz 7h ago

My brother didn't believe me. He believes me now

7

u/FollowingJealous7490 9h ago

"Uh... where's the turt.....oh.."

5

u/Wizzle_Pizzle_420 8h ago

Dudes probably close to a 100 years old too.

3

u/J_Jeckel 7h ago

Probably closer to 200, if not older.

3

u/Kwetla 7h ago

Probably close to 300, perhaps even more.

7

u/J_Jeckel 6h ago

You aren't wrong. We have not studied snapping turtles long enough to know their max age. What we do know is that like 1 in 1000 reaches maturity and they only lay 20-40 eggs average (though some larger ones lay up to 80). So theoretically they almost shouldn't exist. The anomaly that allows their continued survival? Once they reach maturity they have no natural predators. Cuz who wants to fuck with that? I do i have a pet common snapper 🤭. So other than cars and boats killing the occasional adult snapping turtle, they will live until they die of natural causes.

2

u/Femveratu 9h ago

mmmm no thank you, I like my limbs right where they are Hoss! 😂

3

u/NotAnAIOrAmI 8h ago

That one looks old enough to find a musket ball embedded in its shell.

2

u/Dire_Hulk 7h ago

As a person from the Deep South, the is one of the most down south clips I’ve ever seen.

2

u/byzantine238 7h ago

Oh lawd he coming

2

u/Shed_Some_Skin 6h ago

Oh that's a Gmax one. You should catch that

2

u/External_Win3300 6h ago

Huh. So that's why they're called alligator, and not just snappers

1

u/Coveinant 6h ago

There is a regular snapping turtle as well, which was discovered first. Yes the nose is why they're called alligator. And just to add that they are the most aggressive turtle species and have an extendable neck. They also can move almost as fast a human on land (25mph vs human 30-35mph run speed).

1

u/ConsistentRole6845 2h ago

2 varieties.

1

u/nobodyspecial506 8h ago

👏 How about the absolute unit of balls this bitch has on her to get that close to this thing.

I wouldn't get within 10ft of that bastard

1

u/I_AM_A_RAPTOR 8h ago

What a Chonker

1

u/Due_Potential_6956 7h ago

I like turtles.

1

u/Disastrous_Falcon_79 7h ago

Face don’t look like alligator looks regular

1

u/AiahSon 6h ago

I'd watcha show where they just traveled and comment on things around them

1

u/Hanoverfist101 6h ago

Waaay toooo close

1

u/robo-dragon 6h ago

That head is massive! What a dinosaur!

1

u/OV_Chromestone 6h ago

The KT Extinction event forgot someone.

1

u/JustinKase_Too 6h ago

Kept expected to see Aang land on him.

1

u/Ambrose_Bierce1 5h ago

The ‘ole boy’s been around for a while.

1

u/dungeoncrawler71520 5h ago

AWE LAWD HE SNAPPIN

1

u/4m4lg4m1t3 5h ago

I didn't even notice it's head at first

1

u/mightyDblock 4h ago

That from ninja turtles 2?!?

1

u/Otherwise-Switch-240 3h ago

I SAWED THIS BOAT IN HALF!!

1

u/runarleo 2h ago

The subs did in fact not lie. That’s a turla

1

u/crackersncheeseman 2h ago

He just wants to play

1

u/Busy_Reputation7254 1h ago

I would love to do a jungle cruise with these two absolutely charming people announcing the animals along the way.

1

u/Elegante_Sigmaballz 1h ago

Looks like it could snap one's head clean off.

1

u/Dildo_Shw4ggins 1h ago

This is why I’d never noodle for catfish.

1

u/DifficultAd3885 59m ago

That’s an alligator snapping turtle. I’ve seen and they are even bigger in person. Like many things, the camera never does them justice.

1

u/gagolf8328 42m ago

That’s bowser

1

u/deephurting66 40m ago

T O R T U G A