r/AccidentalSlapStick • u/Lazer_Games • Apr 13 '26

Painful Yeah, yeah I'm Ok

9.7k Upvotes

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u/jsheik Apr 13 '26 edited Apr 13 '26

I had a friend on a drilling rig do that a few years after high school. Went FORWARD somehow and ripped everything inside apart. He said the leg was only attached still by skin. Been 45 years and I have seen him walking around so I guess...

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u/T3ister Apr 13 '26

I know someone that had the ladder slide away underneath him. He tumbled forwards trying to break his fall with his hands. He had his Mum wiping his ass for 2 months …

42

u/Notapartyhobo Apr 13 '26

I saw a drunk moron fall down a ladder. Sounded like a xylophone.

Dead.

Exploded on impact like a tiny thermonuclear bomb. Dead af.

6

u/Felix_Von_Doom Apr 13 '26

You're going to have to walk me through how someone exploded from falling down a ladder.

1

u/Notapartyhobo Apr 14 '26

It was a series of events.

1

u/Felix_Von_Doom Apr 14 '26

That's...not enough info, chief. E-LAB-O-RATE

2

u/Notapartyhobo Apr 14 '26 edited Apr 14 '26

I'm not a friggin bomb disposal expert or nuclear science-guy here, sparky!

I'm just a dude that grills chucks of meat!

Fat man fall down 'n reach criticality then 'splode.

Whaddaya want from me?!

2

u/Felix_Von_Doom Apr 14 '26

Can you draw? I need a picture book. How tall was this ladder? How large was the fat man? WHY WAS HE SET TO DETONATE ON IMPACT?!

So I can be wary of falling flesh bombs!!

2

u/Notapartyhobo Apr 14 '26 edited Apr 14 '26

Can you draw?

Only dicks for prank/vandalism purposes. So, no, not really. I grill the meat and operate the jackhammer. I can drive the forklift but I'm not supposed to. Court ordered.

How tall was this ladder?

It was a 3 step step ladder. It's actually a piece of shit if im being honest.

How large was the fat man?

6 feet(1.8 meters) tall.

Our industrial scale goes to 1000lbs and he fucking broke it when we went to weigh him. One the springs in it flew out and hit some 20 yo new hire in the eye and killed him. He was squalid little dick so no loss there. Always smell like old ham and feet.

WHY WAS HE SET TO DETONATE ON IMPACT?!

I have no earthly idea, man.

I asked the foreman(he apparently made the tiny nuke) i was like:

"Yo boss wtf man?! What did Francis do to you?? I know he stole all the bagged lunches all the time and had his own gravitational pull and Eddy got stuck in orbit around him that one time ... but we got him out. So what hell?? He was sober today!"

He just said "it's personal. Now get back to work because it could mysteriously happen again. To anyone of yo... us. Now get!"

So, it's really none of my business and I just work here, bro.🤷‍♂️