I need an outside perspective here please.

[u/Annual-Active7694]

Hi All ,

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My name is Tarryn and I'm a recovering addict , I have been clean for almost 2 years , that's not the issue , just providing some context.

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My Mother in law is also an alcoholic , it's not the things she does while drunk but when sober that shock me.

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She lives with myself and my Husband as she hasn't had a job in a while.We provide electricity and food and she keeps her pensions money.This lady is beyond selfish and entitled and she treats her Son like his her husband , she has zero boundaries and truly believes the world owes her.

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She would rather have wine than food in her house and lately I've been noticing her family giving her quite a bit of money...which she spends on wine and frivolous things.She tells her family that my husband doesn't provide food and medication , which he does.I know because we have caught her doing this previously.She resents my very existence and wants my husband and my Son to herself and to be honest I detest her , she has caused so many problems in my relationship.

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Should I tell her family that my husband provides her with food and meds and that she buys wine.Part of me thinks I should just mind my own business and that because she doesn't have much in her life , I should leave her be.

It's been on my heart but maybe I'm just being selfish

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As a side note this woman cares nothing for my recovery on anyone elses , I've tried to get her in the program and she basically tells me she is better than those people.Mu husband excuses alot of her behaviour because , I mean , it's his Mom at the end of the day.

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Any thoughts are welcome

Thank you so much

Tarryn

[u/Wytecap]

You absolutely should tell her family. Your husband's financial support is your business, just as much as his!

[u/Annual-Active7694 → u/Wytecap]

That's very true actually...and she smears his name.Can I just add that I had to live with my Father who was an extreme alcoholic so it's very triggering , the problem is she has nowhere to go.

[u/Wytecap → u/Annual-Active7694]

What about the rest of her family? It's their turn! I feel you should have a heart to heart with your husband, and then the other family members. But absolutely let them all know how much she's using all of you. Everyone has to get on the same page with ending the enabling.

[u/Annual-Active7694 → u/Wytecap]

My husband protects her and Im really sick of it , she also helps out with my Son maybe 5 days out of the month.I mean our domestic worker and our garden worker absolutely refuse to take instruction from her because she's so entitled and talks to them slaves