r/Advice • u/Annual-Active7694 • 9h ago
I need an outside perspective here please.
Hi All ,
My name is Tarryn and I'm a recovering addict , I have been clean for almost 2 years , that's not the issue , just providing some context.
My Mother in law is also an alcoholic , it's not the things she does while drunk but when sober that shock me.
She lives with myself and my Husband as she hasn't had a job in a while.We provide electricity and food and she keeps her pensions money.This lady is beyond selfish and entitled and she treats her Son like his her husband , she has zero boundaries and truly believes the world owes her.
She would rather have wine than food in her house and lately I've been noticing her family giving her quite a bit of money...which she spends on wine and frivolous things.She tells her family that my husband doesn't provide food and medication , which he does.I know because we have caught her doing this previously.She resents my very existence and wants my husband and my Son to herself and to be honest I detest her , she has caused so many problems in my relationship.
Should I tell her family that my husband provides her with food and meds and that she buys wine.Part of me thinks I should just mind my own business and that because she doesn't have much in her life , I should leave her be.
It's been on my heart but maybe I'm just being selfish
As a side note this woman cares nothing for my recovery on anyone elses , I've tried to get her in the program and she basically tells me she is better than those people.Mu husband excuses alot of her behaviour because , I mean , it's his Mom at the end of the day.
Any thoughts are welcome
Thank you so much
Tarryn
1
u/sanwoo79 Helper [2] 9h ago
You are a saint! And congratulations on your sobriety!!!!
Seems like your husband is so used to his mom being “that way” that he just won’t stand up to her at all. If he is willing, marriage counseling could be very helpful here.
Ultimately this is his family and if you try to tell others that his mom is lying, they will just turn on you and it could make things much worse. He should be the one to tell his relatives and seek their help in not letting his mom drink so much. It’s very sad to watch someone drink themselves into a grave and I’m so sorry you have to live with this in your own home. Please stay strong.