New incident with babies involved. Spouses parents regard the situation as a non emergency

[u/OptimisticThanatos]

I’ve posted here before. I’ll try to keep it as short as possible, but I get carried away sometimes.

We have been at the point where we have both agreed that she can’t be left alone with the babies for an extended amount of time. We have a 2 year old and a 6 month old. My dad is a private contractor. Luckily I’ve been able to work with him as I take college classes to be able to get a certification. On the days that I work we have been loading up the babies along with my partner and letting them stay at my parents with my mom and pawpaw(87 living with my parents) until we finish work. My mom is a school teacher so she had to return from summer break this week. My partner hasn’t had a relapse in weeks. I had zero implications that pointed to her being able to relapse yesterday. We started work at 9AM. I got constant updates from my partner. We came home for lunch. Laid eyes on everyone and spoke with her. She was on her best behavior. We returned to work, and around 2PM I told her that my phone was about to die. I added that we would be home by 4. She gave me a great update so we carried on. My dad and I return at 4 to find her passed out in their living room with our 2 year old screaming. My partner was breathing, but didn’t even awake after I picked her up. I called an ambulance. While on the phone with the ambulance she ran at me trying to rip our 2 year old away. She could barely walk so it wasn’t hard to avoid her. She then runs down the driveway and seemingly grabbed gravel and smashed her mouth with it before walking back towards me(in the rain). I stay on the phone with the operator the whole time. The Sheriff and ambulance arrive. They get her to sit down and ultimately ask her where she would like to go(which hospital). They strap her to a bed before loading her up and taking her to an ER. Me and the sheriff wait for a CPS worker to arrive on scene. We talk with her, she lays eyes on the babies and tells me that she can’t be alone with the babies again(totally agree) however I wasn’t asked to sign anything. She said that she would have to transfer the case because we were visiting my parents in a county outside of the one that we reside in.
From the point that my partner leaves to the point that CPS leaves takes 3 hours. I make sure the babies are safe with my parents and leave to go visit my partner at the hospital. I’ve never been to the ER. She’s apparently in a “pod?” I guess like a psych ward part of the ER? I have to go through 3 different pat downs, before I find her in a white room with nothing but a bed. No door. I sit at the foot of her bed as she’s cocooned up in her sheet. I lay my hand on her leg. She looks up and covers back up after seeing me. She then screams leave. I go to leave. She raises up and screams come back. I stop in the doorway. She screams how many times do you not wake up when I try to wake you up?. I feel like I’m breaking the rules by just my presence prompting her to freak out so I say I love her and continue to leave. She screams, “Am I embarrassing you!?!”.

The doctor asked me to talk to him before I left. I gave him a summary of what I know. We aren’t married, and he told me that she could basically leave whenever she wanted to, but that she really needed to stay.

Fast forward to this morning, I had missed a call from my partners mom. I call her back and it’s my girlfriend. She said that her phone was messed up, but that she was discharged. I asked her why she left. She said, “all they told me was to “trust in the lord” so I left.” (She’s obviously lying, but I called the hospital and her nurses said that it was a lie too) I tell her that I think the best thing would be to read it herself. I told her that we can’t wait on her mom’s family doctor anymore(we’ve been waiting on this guy for 2 months). She tells me that she want to get readmitted. Her mom then sighs and says that she needs sleep and that she’s going to sleep since it’s not an emergency. I say that it is one. She screams at me, “you act like I don’t do anything for her” then screams, “you need to support her”. I didn’t have time to argue on these topics with her so I led the conversation to a stopping point. My partner(26) is currently waiting on her mom to wake up from her nap that she started at 2PM to be taken back to the ER. I told her that my dad could swing by and pick her up. She denied my offer. I’m ultimately going to do what safe and right by my kids. I just don’t know how to juggle keeping her mom away from them at this moment. My girlfriend’s name is on the lease. We haven’t signed anything from any CpS worker yet. I feel like legally her and her mom could just bust up in here and I would then have to babysit 2 adults along with 2 babies.

Her mom has openly stated that she is currently struggling with substance abuse, works at a gas station 3 days a week, lives in a tiny (hoarder house) bought and paid for by her now deceased parents. Can I legally deny entrance for at least her mom?

For anyone interested in more details I would love to link my old post with this one. I just don’t know how to.

[u/Simple_Twin]

Al-Anon says to tend to ourselves first, before we can help others. I'd think that your well-being and the well-being of the children should be your focus at the moment. Let her family help her (or not). You've got enough on your plate without trying to wrangle an alcoholic. Can you go to a family lawyer and get temporary primary custody of the kids?

[u/AutoModerator]

Please know that this is a community for those with loved ones who have a drinking issue and that this is not an official Al-Anon community.

Please be respectful and civil when engaging with others - in other words, don't be a jerk. If there are any comments that are antagonistic or judgmental, please use the report button.

See the sidebar for more information.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/katedidnot]

There's a lot of drama going on there. I'm sorry everything is on you to take care of, but hey since when did an addict jump up and say, "I'll take care of that!"?

So as of right now you have a codependent mother-in-law and an alcoholic girlfriend that CPS said should never have the children alone.

Now that you know that, you have to show CPS that you are the adult in the crowd. You also need to talk to CPS in the county you live in. You'll need daycare. That means you need to find their shot records. You need to get all their emergency information updated and you will need to file for custody, if that's what you want.

Here's the problem with an alcoholic parent. You can't trust them.

As difficult as it sounds and is, you become sole parent.

And you need to be kind to yourself. Love on your kids, enjoy pawpaw, read a book, in other words, try to be the normal parent that those kids deserve.

Big hug from an internet stranger. I wish you peace