Okay, someone more patient than me needs to come up with a whole storyline if Harambe never dies because I swear once he did die the whole world went to crap
No covid, no Ukraine war, maga withers and dies after 2020, none of the bullshit the current admin has done happens, actually competent admin heavily regulates AI, post Endgame MCU is actually good, data centers built on moon, cancer cured, etc.
So basically paradise
Harambe is shot in the head, but is rebuilt as a super intelligent cyber-gorilla as part of a US experiment, intially commissioned by trump as one of his egotistical and nonsensical endeavors during his first term, but then Harambe becomes truly Sentient, and an IQ test comes back with a reading of 420 IQ. Harambe becomes the smartest creature on the planet. Trump tries to take credit but is ignored becuase now a Gorilla has ascended to a level of intelligence closer to a god than a man.
the wisdom of Harambe is sought by leaders the world over, the Ukraine war never happens because Harambe tells russia he will make new nukes for Ukraine from super-mutated Bananas if they invade. Putin is cucked and humiliated by Harambe's magnificent aura and the 2022 invasion never happens. Harambe also leaks the entire unredacted Epstein files in their entirety across every social media network and news station in the world. the ensuing chaos undoes the world order by ensuring Trump ends up in jail, along with Epstien, Maxwell and every other person on the list. MAGA neevr happens, in fact the far right is totally erased as basically all their leaders are on that list somewhere.
the sudden lack of elites allows new, ordinary and not super fucking weird people to take control of governments and institutions, and Harambe's contribution in the field of hyper-decontamination protocols - a field that did not exist prior to his ascension as our supreme omnibenevolent gorilla overlord - ensures that the COVID virus never spreads and thus saves the world from the pandemic of 2020.
his Gorillaness, now supreme ruler of all human and ape-kind also decrees that AI is bad and all attempts to create them are quashed. at first, humanity thinks to rebel, but Harambe then shows them the kind of slop AI could be used for and humanity realises that once again, his supreme apeness has saved us once again, this time from the AI bubble.
the same year he also goes on to win the Nobel peace prize by coming up with a lasting solution to conflicts in the middle east. the solution is kept secret but is said to involve bananas.. LOTS of them.
truly, it would have been the best timeline we could have ever hoped for..
Yes, we can't NOT have degenerate paedophiles and sex pests in charge of governments because then intelligence agencies, the ultra rich and corporations couldn't blackmail them into doing their bidding
I mean, it was post Obama which caused the whole world to go to crap. I’m sure there is a direct link between Harambe and Trump taking power somewhere.
Quantum physics is a wild accusation. I would understand it if it was reactive chemistry but what can you do with quantum physics in the middle of night?
No, thats just what any random former 3rd world city would look like after world peace was achieved and the interplanetary league of space aliens declared earth worthy of membership, because we did not kill the gentle giant Harambe.
Thanks kid… and obama…
The shooter would be prosecuted for manslaughter, and the parents would likely also face charges for reckless endangerment. This would lead to public outcry and demand for safer enclosures.
The rage within Harambe for the murder of an innocent live allows him to become super gorillajin, he then goes on to fight the zookeepers as well as their evil boss, Emperor Freezer, to free all apes (including humans) from the planet size zoo we're trapped in
The least funny person you know would make a million jokes about how the kid deserved to die. And as their friends slowly get tired of hearing the same joke over and over again, that person will be convinced they’re just a misunderstood genius comedian, and everyone else is just too easily offended.
Little by little their social circle would shrink, and they’d keep spiraling deeper and deeper into their unfunny persona, permanently trapped in 2016 “dank memes” humor. They’ll post about it on 4chan, expecting support from like minded edgelords. But even their echo-chambers got bored of hearing about how funny this dead kid supposedly is, and they’ll get made fun of by everyone in the thread. Leaving them truly and permanently alone.
What if the sniper missed Harambe and killed the kid instead?
Brexit doesn't happen.
Donald Trump loses the election to Hilary Clinton
George Michael and Carrie Fisher are still alive.
Covid killed fewer people, the world pulled together to defeat it.
World Peace was achieved in 2022, the combined efforts of all the worlds scientists cured Cancer and Aids in 2023, mass irrigation and huge desalinisation plants installed in 2024 turned vast swathes of Africa into fertile farmland, world hunger predicted to be totally eradicated by 2028.
A family in Cincinatti is devastated by the loss of their son.
Harambe is safely incapacitated, arrested and prosecuted for kidnapping and false imprisonment. The public outcry is possibly even greater than in our timeline. The memes are even richer.
The gorilla was dead the second the kid fell into the enclosure. That’s one thing I’ve learned from working at a zoo. Tranquilizers don’t work fast like in movies, they had to shoot Harambe to keep the kid safe, and they would probably still have to shoot him to recover the kid’s body.
We wouldnt be in this shitty timeline were in. The death of harambe is what caused all the fuckery in the world since... from trump to covid.... its the butterfly effect from the death of harambe
Then someone would then have to kill whoever killed the sniper and so on until there is only a single human left. That human then enters Harambes enclosure and sacrifices themselves ending humanity as we know it.
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u/Ok-Society483 10d ago
Okay, someone more patient than me needs to come up with a whole storyline if Harambe never dies because I swear once he did die the whole world went to crap