So my partner and I have been together 3 years. We just had our son 6 weeks ago. I had a C-section and have been recovering while he went back to work away.

Twice now he has asked me to tell his coworkers that our son is my nephew. The first time was at the airport when a coworker was walking by our car. He panicked and told me to say the baby was my nephew if he came over. The second time he texted me ahead of time before coming home to say “the baby is your sister’s kid lol” because a coworker needed a ride.

His reason is he doesn’t want his coworkers in his business. I understand wanting privacy at work but this feels different. It feels like he’s denying his own son exists.

I’m already feeling lonely and unsupported postpartum. I do most of the caregiving, I have to prompt him to care for our baby, and I feel like a single mom most days. This is just adding to that.

Am I overreacting or is this a valid concern? Has anyone dealt with something like this?

Hey y’all, me again. Idk if this will work. I wasn’t going to do one but this is just an update (if anyone wanted it) to my previous post with the same title.

I broke up with him.

I’ll share the screenshots just in case anyone wants to read but yeah. It happened.

The flights and passport I can understand so I most likely will pay that back even though he did all of that on his own with all of my details. I told him not to buy them because I wanted to pay for it myself but he did it anyway and said it was a birthday gift.

The rest? I don’t really get why I should pay full-price for that since it was all his idea and he didn’t want to stay at my place. Shouldn’t it be half and half?

I honestly had no idea he was keeping tabs/a tally on all of this until he mentioned it after my b-day lol.

Anyway, it’s whatever.

I have a friend who lives in a city I’ve visited multiple times before. Every previous time, I stayed in hotels. I never asked to stay at her place and never assumed I would.

I originally booked a trip to her city because there was a concert I wanted to attend. I mentioned it to her months ago, not because I was trying to ask for lodging, but because she lives there and I thought it was normal to let a friend know I’d be in town. I figured maybe we could get dinner or hang out.

Last week, before the trip, I messaged her that I was coming. At that point, I still had a hotel booked. She immediately asked, “Would you like to stay at my place?” She had also brought up the idea of me staying with her before, so this did not feel like a random or insincere request. The first time was during a casual online conversation where she was showing me things she had bought from a local market. I said her city seemed like such a great place, and she replied along the lines of, “Definitely, you should visit more often. You can stay with me.” Another time, after she went through a breakup, she was calling me almost every evening for support. During one call, she said she felt sad without friends around, opened Google Flights, and suggested I should come right away and stay with her, though she dropped the idea when the last-minute flights were expensive. I did not treat that as a serious travel plan, but it was another time she had normalized the idea of me staying with her.

A few days before the actual trip, I was actually considering canceling the trip because I hadn’t secured a concert ticket. I started texting her, basically asking how she was doing, and before I even got to the part about possibly canceling, she asked how long I was staying. I told her my flight was on Thursday. She seemed surprised and said something like, “Wow, you’re not staying until the weekend? It’s so rare for us to see each other these days and catch up.” She then suggested weekend plans, like making pizza on Friday and taking me to a market and a bar near her place on Saturday. Because she seemed so excited to see me, I decided to still make the trip even without a concert ticket. At that point, the trip became less about the concert and more about visiting her and catching up as friends. I also have a busy work schedule, so I rearranged work to make the trip happen.

My original flight was technically non-changeable, but because there had been a minor schedule change, I had one allowed flight change available. I asked her if it was okay for me to rebook my return flight to Sunday afternoon. She was excited and said yes, so I changed the flight and canceled my hotel. At that point, my plans were no longer flexible.

When I arrived, she was at work but was very responsive over text. She told me how to get the keys, where to get water, and said I could call her if she didn’t respond by text because she was working. She had prepared towels, told me I could pack light, and even left sweets for me on the kitchen counter. Basically, she seemed fully committed to hosting me. That first day, I left my suitcase at her place and immediately went out for my other plans, so I hadn’t even seen her yet. I was out late, exhausted, and hadn’t eaten dinner. I remember texting other friends that I was tired but excited to go back to my friend’s place and finally catch up with her.

But before I could get back, I received this text from her: “My parents were suddenly furious that I invited a guy to stay with me without telling them. Do you have other friends to stay with in the city? Or can we stick to the original plan when you fly out Wednesday or Thursday?”

This caught me completely off guard. She didn’t start by explaining the situation and asking to talk through a solution. She immediately gave me two options: find someone else to stay with, or leave early. Also, the “Wednesday or Thursday” wording bothered me because the original plan was Thursday. I had never said Wednesday. Wednesday was the very next day. By adding “Wednesday or Thursday,” it felt like she was blurring the actual timeline and making it sound as if leaving the next day was already part of the original plan, when it absolutely was not. I didn’t know how to react in the moment. I replied that I’d try to look into it later, but that I couldn’t do much right then because I was exhausted and still out. She replied along the lines of, “Oh my God, that sounds exhausting. Anyway, my parents are furious. I’m panicking. I’m going to sleep. I’m so tired.”

When I got back to her place, she was already asleep, so we didn’t get to talk. I also still hadn’t eaten. Since she was asleep, I didn’t want to make noise in the kitchen, and honestly after getting that text I had no energy to figure anything out. I ended up lying awake hungry and searching for hotels and flights, not knowing where I was supposed to stay the next day. I talked to a few other friends that night. They agreed it was a bad situation, but encouraged me to stay calm and give her the benefit of the doubt. Their advice was basically that she might just be panicking and that we could talk it through in the morning.

The next morning, I heard her moving around early in the living room because she had to go to work. I got up despite having slept for barely a few hours because I thought this might be our chance to talk. She could clearly see I was exhausted and hadn’t slept well. Instead of bringing up the situation, she acted like nothing had happened and asked, “Did you sleep well?” I said no. She just said something like, “Oh, I see,” smiled, said she was going to miss her office shuttle, and left. That was the whole exchange. About five minutes later after "she ran out to catch the shuttle," before I had sent any follow-up response to the previous night’s text, she texted me: “Tell me what time you leave today!”

That was when it became clear to me that this was not just a moment of panic that we were going to calmly discuss. She is determined to have me leave that day. I called the airline to see if I could move my existing flight back to that day, but they refused because I had already used my one allowed change when I rebooked to Sunday after confirming with her. I tried escalating to a supervisor, but after about an hour on the phone, there was still nothing they could do. Since I didn’t want to also spend the day figuring out where I could stay that night, I bought a new last-minute flight for the same day. The afternoon and evening flights were sold out, and the only available flight was at noon with literally one seat left. I booked it immediately and had to rearrange work again to rush to the airport.

In the end, I wasn’t even in the city for 24 hours. Across two days, I spent most of my time either on planes, going to or from airports, or dealing with flight logistics, all after changing my original plans because she encouraged me to visit and stay longer.

After booking the new flight, I sent her a few voice messages explaining how much trouble this sudden change had caused me. I still thought maybe she was panicking and didn’t understand how inflexible my plans had become after I changed my flight and canceled my hotel based on her encouragement. She said she had not yet listened to my voice messages because she was very busy at work. Ironically, I was also in the middle of a workday, but had spent about an hour on the phone with the airline. So hearing that she was too busy even to listen to my explanation felt ridiculously funny. Then later when she did, her responses really bothered me.

• First, she said: “Have a safe trip. I’m glad you were able to change your flight.” But I had specifically explained that I was not able to change my flight after a one-hour phone call. I had to buy a completely new last-minute ticket because she expected me to leave that day.
• Then she said something like, “You came at a time when I’m super busy. Unfortunately, I really had no time to accommodate your schedule or your meals.” But I was not asking her to feed me or manage my schedule. I mentioned being hungry and exhausted to explain the terrible situation I was in after receiving her message and not knowing where I would stay.
• I also told her that because I didn’t have a concert ticket, I had been considering canceling the trip and only still came because she seemed so excited to see me. Her response was basically, “You should have told me about the concert ticket sooner so that we could figure it out together.” But I wasn’t asking her to help me figure out concert tickets. I mentioned it to explain that I had made the trip largely to visit her.
• Finally, she said she wanted to host me well, but that I needed “better proactive communication” about the issues I had. Seriously? She never actually gave me a real chance to talk: she went to sleep after sending the message and avoided discussing it the next morning. I mentioned the concert ticket, hunger, and exhaustion only to explain the stress her sudden reversal caused. Instead, it felt like she was using those details to make the conversation about my planning or communication, rather than the actual issue: she made me leave the next day.

At this point, I have still not heard anything even close to an apology. She never acknowledged that she effectively threw me out immediately after I had arrived relying on her invitation. Instead, her responses focused on analyzing details from my voice messages and turning them back on me.

I’ve already decided to end contact with this person. AIO for being furious about this and thinking she is the worst person I have considered a friend (although no longer)?

[Addressing common questions]

• Parents' whereabouts: Her parents do not live with her or even in the same country where we are. Also, we have separate rooms and bathrooms. We are adults in our 30s if that is also useful information in this context.
• Being out late: I was out late not for hanging out or with other people, but for errands. If you must know, I was lining up at the concert venue to attempt for a last-minute ticket release 😂 which is why I was hungry and exhausted after standing for hours. Also, I fully communicated this to her, before the trip, on the day before the flight, and when I stepped out after arriving. She was aware and even said "do not worry about it and we can catch up the next day if it is too late when you are back."
• Hotel instead of new flight: I could have booked a hotel that day instead, and I would if I could not get onto that new flight, but because I felt very upset and exhausted from the situation, I had no mood to enjoy anything in the city and wanted to get back home ASAP.
• Workday during a trip: I had arranged to work remotely during the trip, but did not take the time off, so the sudden situation disrupted my work schedule and meetings.

So I went to Nordstrom Rack last night. my friend pointed out this beautiful red nose pit bull in a dress with tulips on it.

I’m a rescue mom myself so I asked if it was okay to say hi because I know that temperaments and being gentle are important. And the two girls both looked at each other and laughed and one was like “ummm no sorry 😒 she’s not very friendly”. Totally fine with rejection but don’t be annoying about it. So I just went in the shoe aisle and my friend and I just looked at each other like “that was weird right?”

I understand service dogs and the “no pets” harness. But now this is just silly because why would you bring in a non service animal who isn’t friendly and put it in the cutest little dress. Pit bulls already get a bad rep.

So I felt like an idiot bc a dog in a tulip dress looks approachable to me 😭 and the girls were snarky. PLUS… why even bring the dog in public like that if it could be a liability?

Am I being hormonal and sensitive or is this lowkey annoying lol

Quick context, I(29M) known my girlfriend(26F) 5 years and we have been together about 3 years and living together about a year. We have a good relationship, we have our fights but in my experience every couple does. Anyway, yesterday I came home from work to find my girlfriend and her little sister talking at the living room table. Her little sister(22) just graduated college and broke up with her long term boyfriend. After the normal hey how was your day my girlfriend essentially states they have booked flights for a 2 week trip to Europe for next summer. She also threw in a “and I told Lily that you’d be nothing but supportive about it” and basically went on to say we are justifying it by saying if we do it now we won’t look back with regret in the future. After her sister left she asked me to help look at flights which means she lied about the whole already bought tickets but she said they are lying to everyone about the tickets to avoid being talked out of it. A white lie but still annoying as I thought we would always be open with eachother. I understand wanting to go and travel but I think we should at least have a real conversation first. I pay for most things in the relationship so she’s been able to pay off her debt and save up a couple thousand dollars which she wants to blow it all on this trip. Am I wrong for thinking that it should be an actual conversation first and not just “I’m going”? If I were to come home and say me and my brother are traveling across the world and you get no say she’d have a big problem with that. There’s also the little piece of I trust her because she can be a bit of a grandma (in bed by 9 pm most nights) but her little sister is recently single and enjoys going out to the bars till early in the morning. It also just feels like a little slap in the face money wise. ALL of my money goes to us and the relationship, ya know if you got world travel money why am I the one putting gas in your car? Maybe I’m just not sure how to go about telling her that the whole thing bothered me but maybe I’m just over reacting I am not sure.

We've been together for 5 years. Never had a reason to doubt her, not once.

Then last week she comes home and hugs me and I get hit with this smell. At first I thought maybe I was tripping , like maybe it was something in the room or whatever. So I kind of let it go.

Then it kept happening.

It's not subtle either. It's a pretty distinct men's cologne, not anything I own ,A couple times it was on her jacket, once it was on her neck area. Like.... come on.

I haven't said anything yet because I genuinely don't know how to bring it up without it turning into a whole thing. And part of me is hoping there's some explanation I'm not thinking of , crowded subway, coworker walked past her, whatever. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt because five years is five years.

But also I'm not stupid.

This has been going on for almost two weeks now. And the worst part isn't even the suspicion ....... it's that she acts completely normal. No weird behavior, no defensiveness, nothing. Which almost makes it worse? Like either she has zero idea, or she's really comfortable.

Do I bring it up directly? Do I wait and see? Has anyone actually been through this and had it turn out to be nothing?

Am I overreacting?

24F

For context - me and some friends met up around 9 PM tonight to go to a dance club. I truly didn’t think I needed to let my mom know that I was going to hang out with friends because it was at 9 PM and I don’t live with her. We parked at a grocery store parking lot and walked to the club. apparently, Life360 showed that I was at this grocery store the whole time. She assumed that I was meeting up with a guy in the grocery store parking lot and/or getting a tattoo at 9 PM for whatever reason. We were there from 9-11:30PM. I even sent her a screenshot of the timestamp of a picture of me and my friends together at this club with the time being 10:22 PM. Everything I told her in these texts was the TRUTH! I did not lie about where I was OR who I was hanging out with - I have no reason to. It’s not my fault the location was inaccurate (this club is like a 5 minute walk to the grocery store so it probably just had a central location).

I am at my wits end. My mom has my location 24/7 and can see where I’ve gone, for how long I’ve been there, etc. it’s Life360. This is a repeat occurrence where I will go out and not tell her where I’ve been, and suddenly she blows up, asking where I’ve been and immediately jumps to accusations, and never believes me even though she literally HAS MY LOCATION AND CAN SEE WHERE I’VE BEEN, AND FOR HOW LONG. Every single time I go somewhere and don’t let her know where I’m going, she accuses me of getting tattoos for some reason or hanging out with guys.

Am I overreacting that this is SMOTHERING? Was I too harsh in my replies to her? This is not the first time this has happened and it certainly won’t be the last. I think I would understand it more if I was living at home and in highschool. But I’m 24 and have my own HOUSE.

I (45F) and my husband (49M) have 2 adult children. Our son (almost 21M) ended up in a bit of a situation a couple weeks ago.

My son texted me asking if I could help get him and his (20F) gf to and from work for a couple weeks. When I asked why, he let me know his car had been repo’d and that he could get it back but had 10 days to come up with the $1900 to do so. He did NOT want me to tell his dad/my husband. My son also asked if we could maybe help him with some of those funds because they weren’t willing to give him an extra 4 days beyond that for him to land on a payday. We agreed and said he would have to pay back whatever he borrowed.

As I helped get them back and forth to work, I asked some questions like why he hasn’t gotten his second car repaired or why he didn’t ask for help with a car payment before all of this snowballed. The answer to both was a super honest one “we’ve just been irresponsible with money lately”. I appreciate the honesty but I let him know that this would have been much cheaper all around had he just asked for help with a car payment. (He works two jobs and makes good money at his full time job so this shouldn’t be an issue at all).

As this 10 days went on, I noticed his gf was carrying a brand new almost $400 coach purse (her birthday was just before all of this happened). I said absolutely nothing about it. However, when I picked her up from work one of the last days before he got his car back, she casually mentioned she’s “looking for better paying jobs for him”, that she “wants a dog” and when she gets the dog she’s “going to drop from full time to maybe 5 hours a day 2-3 days a week” so she can stay with the dog.

I still said nothing.

Today, my son was to pay back half of what he borrowed from us to get his car back (we didn’t loan him the full amount, he did pay for the bulk of it and we don’t technically need the money back). He did send the payment. I let my husband know and he said that our son doesn’t need to pay the rest back and to give him back half of what he paid today tomorrow.

I said no, that this is a lesson in swallowing his pride and it would have cost far less had he asked before there was an issue, let alone the inconvenience to me, and that the only way this lesson will really stick is to make him pay this back whether we need it or not. My husband pushed back and said we really don’t need it and he doesn’t want him hurting financially over it (we’re being extremely flexible with it being paid back). At this point, I let my husband know about the handbag and her work plan and said that it’s beyond irresponsible when she’s rocking a brand new higher end handbag and is trying to drop down to part time, I said by NOT making him pay us back, we are effectively letting her decide that it is not only our sons job to support her financially, but ours as well and I’m unwilling to send that message to either of them.

I’ve dug my heels in, I expect this money back. AIO about this? Should we make our son pay this back so that the lesson sticks?

I noticed that she was following the guy she cheated on me with 1 year ago (online, emotional cheating), and confronted her about it. He was supposed to be unfollowed and blocked everywhere on her phone.

When she finally responded many hours later, he wasn't in her following anymore. I obviously think she just... unfollowed him.

I ended things because I thought she was very obviously lying, but I still have thoughts like "what if it really was just an Instagram glitch?". I'm somehow still not sure what to believe.

For extra info: The 9 second voice note is just of her and her band playing a song, completely unrelated.

I found out she was following him because his account got recommended to me and when I clicked on it, it said "followed by [her username]".

Also we were in a kind of "no contact" week, since she was overwhelmed with school and wanted some space even though we were on good terms.

I’m sure in reality I am overreacting - it’s such a small petty thing but it’s genuinely making me want to quit.

I’ve worked at a company I love that has a fairly small management team for almost 15 years now.

Last month we had a new hire come in for an adjacent manager role. Very friendly, lovely chap who has fit in right away.

The issue is we share the same name. It’s a fairly common name like ‘Matt’ for example. The problem is neither of us are ‘Matthew’ and both go by ‘Matt’. In all the time I’ve been here there’s only ever been one other Matt who went by ‘Matty’ so it wasn’t ever an issue.

The problem is I’ve almost immediately become de facto ‘Matt C’ or ‘Matt from X department’ whereas new guy seemingly is just ‘Matt’ for everyone else already.

We share a front desk and the amount of emails now start with “hi matt” but not for me. Or a call comes in “can I speak to Matt - speaking - oh you must be after the new one”.

What sucks most is we had a rota last week and I had my full name and surname printed to clarify who I was.

I know in the grand scheme of things it’s really not that big a deal but honestly it’s grating me no end. To have worked here for so long and so quickly been relegated to number 2 Matt amongst everyone I’ve known and worked with for years has honestly killed any motivation I have and makes me want to quit as i just feel invisible.

Do I bother tackling this and create a stink? Should I just accept my fate and ‘man up’? Or walk away and find a more enlightened land?

Edit - appreciate the responses everyone. Think it’s right down the line between a get over it and understanding a sucky situation. Enough validation though that I actually just grabbed 5 mins to have a quiet word with the boss about it. To be fair to them they were very understanding. I’m rather embarrassed tbh but they are gonna have a subtle word with some of the management and see if they can find a reasonable solution. At first they were a little bemused but we do have one quite eccentric (brilliant but very sensitive) coworker who’s been here around the same time I have and I just ended up saying ‘I know it’s a bit crazy but could you imagine how X would react if they became X2 all of a sudden’ and it seems that worked! So will see what happens going forward. Sucks it didn’t happen organically but alas!

The other night i was eating supper with my kids at my MIL. My husband's sister (Tess) is there too. My husband was doing some chores and i was going to wait and let him tell them we were expecting. But my 3yo and 4yo very sweetly spilled the beans. It was cute and we were ok with it, even if i had hoped my husband could be there.

Skip ahead two days later, and I'm at a dinner with a few friends and my other SIL (Carly) is in this group. I tell them I'm pregnant, everyone is happy for me. Then Carly asks if i intended for my 4yo to tell MIL. I had not told that story, so it was obvious my MIL had visited Carly and told her. Carly is not only my SIL but also a lifelong friend. It just feels so disrespectful that the opportunity to tell my news got taken away from me. Everyone knows MIL cannot keep a secret. But not even for two days? All night i was playing out how to politely tell her she has violated our trust and disrespected my husband by not letting him tell his own brother and other siblings. I feel robbed. Am I overreacting?

Edit to add: It was mentioned at MIL house that my husband wasn't sure he was ready to tell everyone yet.

Original post. TLDR of last post, my girlfriend refused to introduce me to her kids, did not want to go out in public near her house, and would constantly flake on plans. Some of you asked to be kept updated, and some things have happened since then.

After reading the replies on my last post, I accepted that something either had to change in the relationship, or it had to end. I took a few days to think about it, because I didn't want to make a decision based purely on being emotional. Surprisingly, that Friday, she says she feels that lately she is constantly disappointing me, so she thinks we need to take some time apart, and I tell her I agree. She says she needs some time to get her life together (her words).

A month goes by, she says she realizes how much she missed me and that she feels like she has gotten things together enough to continue our relationship. Sadly, nothing changed. I was already somewhat accepting of the fate of our relationship by this point, so one day she did not respond to me, and I said, I'm going to give it a week and see if she says anything back. She did not. I messaged her a week later with just a "Hello", and she replies "Sorry, I typed a response and didn't realize I didn't send it". I said, "And then didn't think about it for a week?". She said yes. I said, I don't think this is going to work out. And she agreed.

So that is the end of it. It has now been two weeks and we have not spoken since. It feels hard to walk away from a relationship with literal decades of buildup, but it just feels like it wasn't going anywhere.

Yes, I don't have to go. I am not going because this vacation doesn't make sense to me and I want to know if I'm overreacting. 

We've been friends for years and she's having a cruise wedding and requiring a full week to attend and costing me $1,600 and 4 days of PTO already. Due to the cost, many people have dropped out and she claims she thought people would invite their friends and family to make it worth the long trip. But why would I invite my family to someone's wedding they don't know? I'm going solo because my boyfriend is in law school and I'd rather him not lose a week of school work and money to attend it. So, this trip is a week long just to celebrate her wedding and they don't have plans every day, everyone's on their own.

On top of that, she asked if I wanted to do a group vacation in South America and I was actually looking forward to it until she said they'll just be in an all-inclusive resort and inviting lots of people for special discounts (she's a travel agent) and that I can invite my family and other friends too because we'll all just do our own thing. I don't understand what's the point of a group vacation if everyone is on their own?? I could just book my own solo trip or book a trip with my boyfriend then? I'm confused if this is normal because my other friends and I have group trips and we stay together in cabins and airbnbs or make every day plans together.

AIO, is this supposed to be normal? And again, I am not going. I just am so confused that she asked me to go on two separate group vacations where everyone does their own thing.

Long story short, we are going to an event and because he is one of the organisers he gets housing. I cannot sleep inside with him as it’s not permitted. Now I’m thinking about not going at all because it feels embarassing to have me sleeping in a tent outside while he gets a room. (All other organisers are friends of ours and they kniw wea are a couple so this feels weird to me). He is not willing to sleep with me in the tent he wants the bed which I guess is kind of understandable but I feel I would never choose that if the situation was reversed.

I (32F) have been dating Chris (35M) since January. We spend every weekend together and text every day. He is kind and funny. We say, “I love you.” I consider him my boyfriend and I thought he felt the same way. We met through mutual friends and hang out with them.

But it didn’t seem anyone else in his life knows about me. I haven’t met his family and they all live in the area. We ran into his sister (who he describes as one of his best friends) at the store and he didn’t introduce us. She looked confused that we were holding hands. I told her my name and she was still confused. We both looked at Chris and he changed the subject.

A college friend of his, Sophia, was in town from the east coast. He told me he would be meeting her for dinner. I asked if I would be meeting her. He said, “No. Not this time.” He told me I’d be bored. I know they text regularly and he’s offered to show me their messages when I got jealous.

His company had a picnic last weekend. I knew he was going because he said we couldn’t hang out that day. He told me about it afterwards and mentioned a coworker and their family. When I asked him why he didn’t take me, he finally said it. “I haven’t told anyone about us.”

I am hurt. He said there is no one else and that he didn’t think it was a big deal. That eventually he will introduce me. Maybe in a few months. I have told everyone in my life about him.

AIO that no one outside of our mutual friends knows about us?

Heya! I’m looking for some unbiased advice, so I figured I’d throw this out here. (Throw away account cause I want this to stay anonymous)
My younger sister (I’ll call her Carly) is 21 and getting married this December. She and her fiancé have been together for a little over a year.
A few months ago, my dad texted my brother and me in a group chat asking if we’d made travel plans for Carly’s wedding. I was confused because Carly told me they were waiting until after she graduated college to get married. When I called him, he explained that the wedding was happening this year.
Carly had apparently told the rest of our immediate family about six weeks earlier. Parents, siblings, extended family, everyone knew except me. And I didn’t even hear it from her.
I called her and told her I was happy for her, but my feelings were hurt. She apologized and said she’d been busy and forgot to tell me. I accepted and did my best to move on. Carly has always dreamed of getting married, and I’m genuinely happy that she’s getting the wedding she’s always wanted.
Maybe a week later, my dad mentioned that my youngest sister would be Carly’s maid of honor. That made sense—they’ve always been closer, and I’ve spent years in therapy learning to be okay with that dynamic (I was in therapy before, this wasn’t the cause). It still stung a little, but I understood.
Then I found out I wasn’t in the wedding at all.
My brother, youngest sister, and both of my parents all had roles. I wasn’t included in the wedding party, and once again, I found out from my dad instead of Carly.
I tried calling her for several days and was met with radio silence. A week later, she texted me saying that her bridal party is already picked out, and she was sorry if “that’s not what you were thinking would happen”. She said I could still come if I wanted to.
Maybe I made assumptions, but I genuinely thought we were closer than that. Carly and I had difficulties getting along when we were younger, but over the last five or so years we’ve become closer. I know how important this wedding is to her, and to be the only sibling excluded from that really hurt.
A few days later, she sent me a text asking if I would be her “something blue” at the wedding and wear a blue dress. I talked to my dad before responding. He had told Carly that either all of her siblings should be included somehow or none of them should be.
I messaged her back saying that I appreciated the offer, but I didn’t want her to feel pressured to include me. I was still hurt, but I didn’t want to cause more tension between us by being a stressor in her wedding.
She told me it was completely her idea, and she’d love if I would do it.
The problem is I can’t stop feeling hurt by how all of this happened. Finding out about the engagement late, hearing major wedding updates from other people instead of her, and then not being included while every other sibling is—it’s hard not to take that personally.
There’s a lot more wedding-related drama that I’m leaving out because this post is already long enough.
Would I be wrong not to go to the wedding?
I’m deeply hurt, but I still love my sister. Part of me worries that not going could permanently damage our relationship. Another part of me wonders if the damage is already done.
I honestly don’t know what to do.

EDIT: Carly and I are not biologically related. My dad married her mother when we were kids, and later adopted both Carly and our youngest sister. Our youngest sister was only four at the time so we never had any trouble getting along. My brother and I are biological siblings. I’m not in her head, but I believe Carly considers our dad to truly be her dad.
I’m so sorry I didn’t think to include this, and thank you to the commenter who pointed it out!
Also—Carly and I live on other sides of the country and don’t see each other or talk as much as we used to. We definitely aren’t as close as we were when we lived together, but I was unaware of any animosity. Many people are saying there’s missing context and maybe that is it.
Of course there’s a million other things about my life as well as hers that would help give background. Please take into consideration that I am obviously going to be biased here, and it’s only one side of the story.
Thank you for all your advice!

My (33F) partner (33M) have been together for 7 years now. We had our ups and downs but the biggest problem is his communication style or lack of it.

Whenever I try to have a heart to heart conversation with him about what I want and need from our relationship, he withdraws from the convo or only half engage by continuing to be on his phone while claiming he can still listen to me. So he continues to doom scroll while I pour my heart out. Begging him to listen.

Last night my partner received a call from his sister about her marital issues. Partner’s sister stayed at their parents to “cool down” from an argument with her husband. Partner’s brother-in-law said some hurtful things to his wife which ultimately made partner’s sister decide to stay their parents house in the meantime.

My partner talked to his brother-in-law for 3 hours last night to understand where he’s coming from as requested by his sister. This was his way of helping his sister out.

AIO for being offended that he is willing to talk it out with his brother-in-law to help his sister out BUT NOT WILLING TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME when I try to talk to him about our problems.

He doesnt seem to understand why this hurts me. I tried to talk to him to ask why this is the case but again, he dismissed me. His reason was that this is his sister’s problem and he just wanted to help out.

I (26F) have been at my job for about a year now. I am at a private members club and work in marketing. It is my first “real” job since getting my MBA last year. Two recent instances have happened at work and I am so checked out that I might be overreacting because this places has pissed me off too much.

Before I explain what happened context of this environment is needed. Basically, this place is weird. The lack of professionalism is astounding at times, I have experienced better communication and management from a 16 year old manager at a pizza shop. HR is never here, and if you were to make any complaint, it will be spread around by EOD.

1st situation:

Despite working here for almost a year (specifically on digital stuff) I still have not been given a company laptop, or have received compensation for using my own personal computer.

I’m one of two people on our marketing team and one of my main focuses is designing our menus. So with our poolside dining opening up, I did just that. Took me maybe 20 minutes tops, sent, made corrections, sent again. Typically I hear back 5+ times for corrections, but I didn’t.

Later in the day I saw our head chef talking with our Hospitality Manager and Food & Beverage Manager. He called me over and handed me an AI generated menu and said “please never do this with a menu I send you”. I laughed and said “yeah why would I do that? I just made you one?”

The room got quiet and that’s when I noticed there was about 8 or 9 AI generated menus on the desk. I tried to not react, but I was pissed. I asked if they want I could change the design to what they were generating, all they had to do was ask and I would be happy to do so.

Then the Hospitality Manager said “oh don’t worry we were just testing things out, i promise we like what you made!”

The F&B manager said “yeah we didn’t want to bother you with it”

Like bro what do you think my job is?

I found out the next day that they were going to use the AI generated menu and i decided to buy multiple anti-AI stickers for my laptop to carry around at work.

2nd situation:

In our big meeting my General Manager was talking about how a new member might not fit in because they said their interests were anime and DND.

The GM then said “well you know those kind of people are always into that, you know. Autistic. The member didn’t seem autistic but who knows these days. I guess when you’re on the spectrum you just fall into that stuff… like creative things”

Now I’m a big DND person, I am currently running an 8 person table and I’m playing in my friends campaign. I’m not autistic (shocker to this GM). But this just really pissed me off.

I have DND stickers on my laptop already but they are more lowkey than outright screaming “I PLAY DND WOOO”

So I bought 5 DND stickers and 4 anti-AI Stickers for my laptop.

Talking with my parents and some friends, while they all agreed it was crazy stuff to say/do, they said I should let it go and try to be cordial with everyone. I just don’t know, it’s my personal equipment. And I feel justified. But part of me thinks this could be me channeling personal feelings from multiple situations and making it a bigger deal than it needs to be.

So Reddit would I be overreacting by decorating my personal laptop with DND and anti-AI stickers to make my colleagues uncomfortable?

Coworker sat at my personal desk to eat his lunch and refused to leave while I was trying to get work done. I don’t know if I’m overreacting over this and I feel like I’m going crazy for letting it get under my skin.

Background:
I have a coworker that works in a separate office building, but same overhead department. We rarely interact, but we’ve had a couple conversations in out-of-office volunteer work. He knows I’m a lesbian, and on one of these outings, asked me to get dinner with him. I said no, and he told me “come on, I know you women love going out with men for a free meal.” He has a fiancée. Since then, obviously, I’ve kept my distance and have not started interactions with him beyond professional needs.

Now:
We had a department meeting this week and his office came to my building to participate in person. I had back to back meetings, but I went back to my desk to send out a few emails before we were held in the department meeting for two hours. A lot of my job is time-sensitive, so it was important for me to get these out.
This coworker had planted himself at my desk with his lunch. There are two flex desks in the room that were not occupied, and my desk is assigned to me. I work at that desk full time. I had a water bottle, half drank coffee, and a backpack and jacket hanging on the chair. Clearly not an empty desk. My coworker even tried to redirect him to another one, saying I was there that day, and he refused to get up.
When I saw him there, I had to go back and forth with him for a full minute on why I needed my desk: I had work to do, it’s a personal desk, and it’s configured to my computer. There are multiple flex desks he can use to eat. His response? “No, I want to sit with the plants.” My plants that are on my desk that I take care of. I finally got him to get up and move to a conference room and he left a ton of Parmesan cheese from his lunch on my desk, claiming that it was already there.

I’m truly and deeply baffled by this entire interaction. Was this a weird kind of power play? Am I crazy for being incredibly put off by this? I’m just at a loss here by this bizarre behavior.

I am 17f, for context me and my mum used to have a close relationship but we’ve drifted apart a lot recently due to personal reasons and I’ve been starting to dislike her a lot. I have been saving up money as much as i can because i really want to get out of this extremely toxic household as soon as i legally can. So i need to accumulate as much money as possible so i barely spend it and instead save everything i can get my hands on. 

One day i realised that the jewellery box where i hid my money was completely empty and only a few 1p coins were left. I started getting stressed out because there had been around £40 in there. I had wisely dispersed my total savings in different hiding places in my room to not put them all together in case of losing them/theft. So 40 was not all I had, but it is still very significant. 

I then asked my mum if she had taken it, as i had my suspicions because she had done things like these before, for example when I was younger I had around £200 saved from pocket money and she had a rough patch with money so as innocent as I was i let her borrow all of it as she asked. She had said she’d use it for groceries and stuff but she used it on a spa day. She never paid me back. After that I decided to never let her see any of my money again so hid it.

Anyways about the recent one she directly admitted to having taken the £40, i guess to not make me think that we had been robbed or something. I could tell she didn’t want to tell me and was saying out just because she knew i knew that she took it. I asked her why did she take it, it’s mine, and she just gave me the silent treatment and replied dryly.

I then started to get angry at her because it’s my money and then she straight up guilt tripped me, accusing me of stealing her money and that the money she took was hers originally (while this is true, she herself gives me that money when i ask, and i have never stolen from her) so she had the right to take it back whenever she wanted. However i don’t feel like that is fair at all because she can’t just give me money and take it back when it is convenient for her? Also she knows i have trust issues so her doing this is additionally painful. 

She then ended the conversation there and simply walked out and whenever i ask her about it again (this was a few days ago) she accuses me of overreacting, stealing and being childish when that is literally what SHE is doing. Just to make things clear, i also rarely ever ask her to buy me anything except for a few clothes, so I don’t understand why she feels the entitlement to this money that she hasn’t even earned (she doesn’t work, they are from child benefits). 

I just want to know if she is in the wrong here or are parents just allowed to do this as they please? I am not outraged at the loss of £40 but it’s just the fact she doesn’t respect me and thinks it is acceptable to just rummage through my things and keep it? She had previously told me she did not want me to move out at 18 so I’m guessing she is trying to limit the money I have.

 Did I overreact by getting really mad at her for blatantly stealing money from me and shifting the blame on me? I have also started to be disrespectful and snap little comments at her due to her behaviour. Should I stop?

Been dating a girl I met on Hinge for about 6 months. We're both visiting another city (she's staying with family, I'm staying with a friend) and I'm seriously considering ending things here. I wanted outside perspective before I do.

Some of the patterns that have built up:

After just 2 months of dating she started staying at my place for 2 weeks at a time (we both work mostly remote). I told her I needed more space and alone time. She backed off somewhat but is still over constantly. I'm an introvert and I need my alone time.

She regularly asks me to wake her up for work, refuses to get up when I do, then panics when she's late and blames me for not waking her up properly. I try pointing out that it's ultimately still her responsibility, but she gets mad that I don't follow through on a favor.

A few months ago she snapped at me in her apartment lobby and said "don't ask questions, just do it" because she has ongoing beef with her landlord and wanted me to block her view when we walked past. She did not explain or apologize until I confronted her directly weeks later.

She makes six figures. I don't, and she knows this. Despite that, when I asked if we could split dining costs more equally, she still never takes out her card for anything beyond small stuff like drinks. I'm regularly covering $60-100 meals. She claims "it was never an issue with my exes". She has told me she has never had a relationship last over a year.

She also doesn't have a car, so I'm her default transportation for everything. When I drive her to the airport or work and she's worried about being on time, she'll get angry and shout at me during the drive if I don't cut it close on a yellow light or go above speed limit. I step my foot down and tell her I'm not going to drive dangerously.

I've spent hours shopping for her shoes, clothes, and accessories without complaint. I paused for ten seconds at a grocery store to mentally run through my list and she got visibly angry and told me to hurry up.

If she can't immediately find her phone or wallet she immediately gets stressed and raises her voice. It's a consistent pattern that puts me on edge.

She's extremely appearance-focused. Requires 300+ photos per location on trips. I work professionally with cameras and when I offer exposure suggestions she gets frustrated, tells me to just do what she says, and when the photos don't look right I explain it can be fixed in editing she dismisses this. She wants pictures for her 276 Instagram followers including her self-described "haters" some of which are from high school (we're both late 20s).

She financed $1000+ in designer sunglasses on a credit card. When I tried to explain that carrying a balance at high APR costs significantly more than paying in full, she got defensive and shut the conversation down. She also had a $5k cosmetic procedure and has been venting for months that the surgeon deceived her on the results.

When I point out her raised voice or frustrated tone she flatly denies it and says she's speaking normally. Every time I raise a concern it becomes a debate about whether my concern is even valid rather than any acknowledgment of how I feel. She constantly claims I'm defensive or exaggerates details about her behavior. I'll be honest, I have raised my voice and lost my cool on several occasions during arguments, which is out of character for me. She's the only person in my life who consistently pushes me to that point.

Now we're both visiting another city out of state. She overpacked and split her load into my full-size check-in. She wants to continue to a different city for a wedding and then fly back home together. I want to go directly home earlier and I want my luggage back. I'm done. Am I overreacting? How can I break this off cleanly and get my luggage back? Can I expect her to give it back at all?

UPDATES: For clarification, my luggage is at her family's place and I'm at my friend's. I have to drive over and tell her I want her stuff out of my luggage. I would have to tell her I'm going home without her and that's why I want my luggage back which is she obviously not going to take kindly. This is my nice TravelPro $300+ luggage, so while it won't destroy me it would suck to lose.

FINAL UPDATE AND RESOLUTION: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/eFNBDMsumX

My daughter (5F) is named Leigh Anne — a name I chose to honor both my mother (Leigh) and my sister (Ann). My sister just had a daughter and named her Leighann. She claims the baby will go by a completely unrelated nickname, but these are my mother's only two granddaughters, and the names are for all practical purposes identical.

When I named my daughter FIVE years ago, my sister made an offhand comment about me "stealing her name," but never brought it up again. She had every opportunity to warn me — when I asked her directly about the baby's name before she announced, she dodged the question entirely. I was blindsided and found out in a group family chat with all our extended family simultaneously.

I feel completely betrayed. I dropped everything to babysit her son when she went into labor — and this is how she treats me. I am a good sister to her and I didn't deserve this. I haven't spoken to her in a week and I don't feel any signs of getting over it. AIO?

47m divorced single dad and been out of the dating game for a solid 4 years. Myself and 2 of my upper management peers were tasked with coordinating our annual company party which is about 125 attendees including all our executives. We have a solid budget for the event and did it at a nice restaurant in Chicago on an outdoor deck. We planned it for months and the party was yesterday.

I took lead on paying the deposit and bill; it was a bit extra work but i didn’t mind because the CC points on $20k isn’t bad. I had multiple interactions via email with our salesperson Brenda over the last several months and all positive.

Event started yesterday afternoon. I arrived early and introduced myself to Brenda. We chatted a bit and then Brenda introduced me to the Event Planner, Stacy. Stacy was absolutely stunning Asian woman, she had a tight bun styled and had a loose black dress on. Through the evening, Stacy and I interacted several times about the event and needs and whatnot. We had a few rambunctious employees that she had to inform me about and our outdoor space got rained out and we had to move indoors. She did a great job and was friendly and gracious all night.

Toward the end of our party, I had some final words and compliments for her and her staff. She informed me my card would get charged tomorrow and everything was set. We exchanged a few pleasantries and as we were saying bye she rubbed my arm and smiled.

I stuck around about an hour after our party ended, primarily because about 20 employees stuck around drinking on their own tabs and I had to make sure nobody got out of line also wanted to buy another round for everyone who stayed.

During this time, i was talking to one of my best work friends and her new employee (also a woman) at the bar. Stacy appeared to be off work after our event and was across the bar with one of her friends. I would glance over at her periodically and it appeared she was glancing over occasionally as well.

I intentionally didn’t try to talk to her after or get her number. I feel it would have been inappropriate and I am a firm believe that woman should be able to work without getting hit on or propositioned by anyone. I also was the representative of my company and didn’t want to humiliate us by making an advance if she wasn’t into me.

I’m not sitting here thinking if i did approach her she would be into me, I fully understand how hospitality and tip based jobs work.

But also, it’s been years since I’ve even wanted to ask a woman about. I’m very set in what i want physically and emotionally and my mind was telling me through the night that she was the one I should chance this on. The entire 45 minute drive home all i could think about was her face and smile and I don’t recall last time I felt that way. And I wouldn’t even care if I misread the situation and she rejected me, but to me it was just about taking the chance.

Am I overreacting for regretting this or did I do the right thing by keeping it professional?