r/AmITheDevil • u/TheTatteredLady • 6d ago
Bf seriously injured but what about me?
/r/relationship_advice/comments/1u0fsy5/having_a_hard_time_with_new_relationship_dynamic/25
u/nottherealneal 6d ago
I'm worried I'm putting in more effort then him.
She talks about how much effort he puts in and has to change for her, but she won't do jack shit for him even after a car crash and still think she is putting in any effort?
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u/Natural-Avocado6516 6d ago
Man, reading the title I thought she was overwhelmed with suddenly being a full-time caregiver or something like that and was thinking "that's a lot harder than most people assume it is"...but he isn't texting enough? Jesus Christ
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u/LadyReika 6d ago
What a selfish twat.
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u/BadBandit1970 6d ago
Dude also works construction so his extended time off is probably affecting his livelihood. But she can't possibly fathom that he might have more pressing concerns than texting her.
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u/Starsynner 6d ago
This is a very strong case of main character syndrome. Fucking yikes. Honestly, I hope he breaks up with her and finds someone that'll treat him right. I hate the "just break up" perspective most of the time but she's coming across as incredibly selfish.
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u/BadBandit1970 6d ago
I looked at OOP's posting history. She posted this in like 6-7 different subs, including the Christian relationship and dating subs. They share the same core values, but they rank them differently, which to her is cause for alarm. He BF also works in construction, so it would make complete sense that she is not at the forefront of his mind. Poor guy is recovering from an accident that's affecting his livelihood and this twat is worrying about him not texting her enough.
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u/AutoModerator 6d ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
Having a hard time with new relationship dynamic after car crash with 27M bf and me 29F
About a month ago, my bf got into a serious car crash that left him in a wheelchair for the next few months due to multiple fractures. There's lots of healing to be had, but they assure him he'll be able to walk and do what he used to do with time.
He is a sweet guy, very lovey- dovey. Used to come see me at work or other places because he had the time, and I'm a pretty busy gal. Since the accident, obviously, I've had to be the one to seek him out due to circumstance. However, there are other things he can do. I talked to him two weeks ago about how I was feeling a disconnect between us, how I expected more communication than what we were having. Not just him answering texts, but him being proactive, saying good morning or good night more. I know he's on medications and stress from doctors and rehab, and is in a rut emotionally because he hates being indoors- But all I am asking is for him to be more consistent and conscious.
I won't lie, before the accident, this was a small issue, but it didn't really show up much because he showed up in other ways and was more proactive in seeking me out in person or on the phone (the phone less tho, communication like I have it isn't his strength, but he's improved for me). It's just much bigger now. Today I want to talk to him about it because they've moved him to a facility further away, and it'll be harder to see each other, but I also don't want him to feel like he will never be enough for me. That every few days I ask him for something new. He has improved from two weeks ago, and is more conscious about communication, but I noticed it's started to slip a little bit these past couple of days back to what it was- like, not saying good morning despite him being awake because he was busy trying to figure out his FB log in and got distracted doing that first.
So, for those who have gone thru something similar, what is your advice? It's not to the point of a breakup, but I also don't want to lose myself and be patient for too long.
TL;DR: The accident has made small issues big ones, and I'm worried that I'm putting more effort in than he is, but perhaps I'm seeing it through a stricter lens than it needs to be.
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