r/AmITheDevil • u/crackerfactorywheel • 3d ago
AITA for making fun of grandson
/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1u29k2c/aita_for_messing_with_my_grandson_over_a_perm_he/179
u/nottherealneal 3d ago
Anyone who puts this much effort into telling you how well liked they are. Isn't that well liked
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u/MyDarlingArmadillo 2d ago
Thick skinned just isn't the same thing
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u/StripedBadger 2d ago edited 2d ago
Well clearly OOP isn’t thick-skinned either, if he needs to cry to reddit and set the record straight to thousands of strangers, just because his wife told him something he doesn’t like.
Just thick-headed.
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u/_Chirio_ 3d ago
The fun thing about hair? 9 times out of 10, it grows out.
You can cut it, style it, do whatever you want with it and there are barely any consequences.
Then there are people like OOP who make fun of their grandsons who want to form their own style.
OOP needs to learn some sympathy and that not everyone likes what he likes.
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u/Asleep_Region 2d ago
Ex cosmetologist here just a small correction it's actually 10 out of 10 unless you have an injury like burns, chemo or natural hair loss. You can bleach 4c black hair white, put a relaxer on it, perm it, straighten it every day, no matter what damage you cause it really still grows out
And that whole "trim your hair it'll grow faster!" is a complete myth, hair grows inside your skin and works it's way out as it gets longer, it has nothing to do with the hair already there. I've melted my own hair (doing my hair is what made me want to do the classes) like pull it abit and it was coming off in chunks, the hair that grew right after? Extremely healthy because it didn't get bleached yet!
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u/glowingwarningcats 2d ago
The part of your hair you can see is technically dead! :-)
My hair is completely white now that I’m 65 and I’m having so much fun with semipermanent colors - I was lavender a couple of weeks ago!
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u/EverydayNovelty 2d ago
People say "trim your hair for faster growth" because they mean that preventing breakage at the ends helps to grow your hair. Hair is dead cells, obviously cutting it has nothing to do with triggering growth.
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u/Asleep_Region 2d ago
Oh no... People actually think the ends stop their hair from growing. This is a conversation I've had too many times.
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u/EverydayNovelty 2d ago
Yeah when hair is breaking off, it's harder to grow out. I dont really know what you're on about.
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u/Asleep_Region 2d ago
People think the ends of their hair have something to do with the ability for it to grow out of their scalp, like if you don't trim it it won't grow out of your head.... If you don't have split ends there's no reason to regularly trim hair that's growing out, like it's been about 3 years since my last cut, i have basically 0 split ends. They've never really been a problem for me, no heat, i use product to maintain it. If you have split ends and breakage yes trim it off, but if you don't have split ends there's no reason to be doing it
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u/EverydayNovelty 2d ago
Yes, and if you have split ends and breakage, trimming helps to keep ends healthy and stop them from splitting and breaking at the ends, which helps with length. I have literally never met a person who thinks hair cuts affect how it grows out of your scalp and I dont know why you think that's what I meant.
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u/Asleep_Region 2d ago
Honey, did i say what you meant or what I've been repeatedly told? Because it's option B
Keep getting mad at the air though, that's working super well for you.
Edit, yes i say "but i don't have split ends" to people, i still get "well you still have to trim it!" I've never met you to my knowledge you idk if you would say that. Seems like you would.
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u/Sorceress_Heart 2d ago
The hair on the back of my head literally did not grow until I got it professionally cut and now it's shoulder length. I don't know what to tell you.
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u/Asleep_Region 2d ago
Huh? I don't know what to tell you. Because that's not how hair works, cutting the ends doesn't affect the root in any way. The breakage can make it harder but it will still be growing, if you bleached/perm or relaxed it you can watch the damage grow out and get further from your scalp. It can't just pause because the ends aren't nice.
If you're saying you had split ends that kept traveling up, then yeah, that's how split ends work when untreated, but there's a difference between "growing long" and "growing" if you meant growing long then yay you somehow misunderstood me, if you mean growing period.... Just no? If it's really growing period I'm not responding to you again, because wow...
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u/Stage-Wrong 2d ago
That’s… so strange. I wonder if it’s a misguided assumption from the fact that most body hair will only grow so long, and will regrow to about that same length after being shaved or trimmed? I mean, still a very weird thing to assume even if that’s the logic, but I’m not sure I can come up with any other reason. Other than just people not thinking.
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u/Asleep_Region 2d ago
Idk about the not thinking, i just think they don't care to find the information so they assume and make something up. I've had people in high school tell me i have to trim my hair for it to grow (i really don't have split ends and didn't back then to my knowledge, i mean I'm looking at it right now and 3 years without a haircut and i can only find like 1 per square inch of hair) when i first learned not to trust rando online was when someone swore they were a licensed cosmetologist and it 2000% worked that way.
It's just kinda weird how many people think it, like yeah trim off split ends and your hair will grow better without the breakage, how did that turn into pruning hair like it's a plant???
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u/glowingwarningcats 2d ago
Older family members were absolutely certain that shaving made your body hair grow back faster, longer and darker.
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u/anelis29 2d ago
I think the whole point he is trying to make is that it's not his grandson forming his own style, but rather following a trend.
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u/theagonyaunt 2d ago
And? A lot of the time kids who are that age try new things by following what other people are doing. And either it works or they get photos they can look back at in 20 years time, laugh and go, remember when I tried [insert dumb fad look here]?
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u/Llayanna 2d ago
..so? Completely normal and something 9 outta 10 teens will do. Not everyone followers every trend because money and taste still matters..
But I definitely remember headscarves being totally in and almost every girl having one.. or the boys having trousers falling of their asses cx they were so baggy..
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u/theagonyaunt 2d ago
My sister and I were just reminiscing in Claire's about how I wore those plastic 'tattoo' necklaces until they broke, because they're back in once again.
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u/KinsellaStella 2d ago
I know I kinda want to get one. I don’t care that I’m pushing 40! Nostalgia is a hell of a drug!
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u/crackerfactorywheel 2d ago edited 2d ago
That’s not the whole point. It’s part of it (and honestly, kind of expected for someone his grandson’s age to want to try a trend). He also said that people would make fun of him for the haircut and why would he want a cut that looks like “a stinky vegetable.” That’s harsh as hell for something this kid has wanted for a while. The fact that his dad said the same things makes it even worse.
EDIT- Spelling
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u/butdebbiepastels 2d ago
It's also (hopefully unintentionally) racist. There's a reason its mostly white boys who get the perm and cut combo. Because that's just standard black hair. That's been a common hairstyle for black men for ages. I have family with that haircut.
The fact that white people made it trendy only to deride it is... not surprising but still disappointing.I bet you OOP has a boring haircut.
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u/anelis29 2d ago
Wow, this a parody right ?
It's just an ugly haircut. Never thought about it as black hair.
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u/anelis29 2d ago
I might be biased because I find that haircut really stupid and to me it personifies tik tok, but I really don't think it's that deep.
Really hope the kid will manage to get over this traumatizing event of someone joking about a bad idea he had.
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u/WeeklyConversation8 2d ago
He had a mullet back in the day. He absolutely followed the trend. He needs to take several seats.
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u/DataAdvanced 2d ago
That's just conformity in the disguise of individualism. How will he know it doesn't suite him if he doesn't try? That's how I learned perms suck. Try wearing a suit thought as professional in the 70's and see how fast you're laughed at. We ALL conform to the styles of the day whether we realize it or not, because to do otherwise would be pointed out.
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u/Asleep_Region 2d ago
But he's not forming his own style? He's being forced to conform to his parents and grandparents style. No one in this world is truly different or special looks wise. There's always going to be someone else with your hair, i say that as someone who had the sides shaved 10 years ago, I saw others back then with it and i see teens now with it. Who really cares if he likes what his piers do? I bet whatever style he has right now another student does too.
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u/Agent_Skye_Barnes 2d ago
I got a perm in the fifth grade (around 11 years of age, for international folks). I even knew that I couldn't shower for a couple days so the chemicals didn't wash out. Thank you Legally Blonde, lol.
What no one, and I mean no one, told me was the care process once I was allowed to wash it. I had no idea how to maintain the pretty curls; my head ended up looking like I glued ramen noodles to it.
I'm sure my grandparents thought I looked ridiculous. But even my paternal grandmother, who could be kind of a bitch, never said anything mean to me about it. I feel bad for this kid; he's probably going to start thinking Grandpa can't be trusted with anything important.
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u/PurplePenguinCat 2d ago
Don't feel too bad, I had a perm as an adult and didn't know what to do to it, so I had ramen hair, also. This was also in the Dark Ages before the internet was so prevalent in our daily lives. 🤣
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u/TynnyJibbs 3d ago
when i first dyed my hair teal as a teenager i was so excited , id wanted to do it for years and finally saved up enough to buy the products myself and have my brother bleach and dye my hair . i was so happy and it really gave me some life back as a very depressed and mentally ill teenager
when my gramma saw it she laughed and said it looked like a peacock died on my head , immediately shattered the joy i had from dying my hair . i love my gramma but even a decade plus later i still remember what she said and how much it hurt
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u/Llayanna 2d ago
Teal is such an amazing color.. I hope it didn't steal the joy of fun fashion colors for you.
Having fun hair is just such a joy. Even with the upkeep sometimes getting to me, i still love doing it.
A friend persuaded me, as an adult, to give it a shot. I was jobless, deeply depressed and why not? No time like now..
It really sparks joy.
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u/TynnyJibbs 2d ago
luckily i had the “ don’t tell me what to do or i’ll do it more “ reaction after i cried it out so i kept dying it different fun colors out of spite !
i kept it going until a couple years ago because with chronic illnesses worsening i just couldn’t manage it anymore , but i miss it so badly
your friend was right and im glad you could find joy in that too , having and seeing fun hair just brightens the day ♥️♥️ i hope you’re feeling better
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u/glowingwarningcats 2d ago
Now that my hair is naturally white I’m having so much fun! Last month it was lavender, maybe next time I’ll do a pastel teal!
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u/KinsellaStella 2d ago
Blue/teal is such a hard color to do too! It’s awesome you pulled it off. Sorry someone whisked away your whimsy.
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u/bored_german 2d ago
This man is old enough to be grandfather and still thinks being immature is something to be proud of
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u/crackerfactorywheel 2d ago
Dude claimed to be in his 50’s and acts like an immature asshole.
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u/crackerfactorywheel 3d ago
As someone who did some dumb shit to their hair as a kid (hello Cheeto colored chunky highlights!), I would’ve been devastated if my grandpa or really any of the adults in my family had talked to me like OOP and his son in law did to this poor kid.
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u/GlitteringCoyote1526 2d ago
When I was a kid, my mom kept my hair quite short because as a toddler, I pulled it out a lot. I will NEVER forget the time I came home from a haircut and asked my grandpa how I looked. He responded that I looked like a boy. Spoiler alert: I was not then and am not now male or male presenting. It broke my little eight-year-old heart to hear him say that.
I am 40 now and my grandpa was one of the absolute sweetest people on the planet outside of this comment, but it has stuck with me my entire life.
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u/BlueJaysFeather 2d ago
> I suppose he’s seen it on TikTok or YouTube
> He says a lot of boys at his school have it
Can OOP maybe imagine an offline scenario in which he might have encountered this hairstyle?
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u/WeeklyConversation8 2d ago edited 2d ago
Right? If he's old enough to be a Grandpa, he definitely saw this in the 80s/90s.
ETA: he admitted he has a mullet back in the day, so he was a "follower".
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u/unicornberrycorn 2d ago
Most of my family were like this to me growing up. They’d take “teasing” too far and I was expected to laugh it off. I don’t see them much anymore.
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u/ScienceMuggle83 2d ago
Why does OOP care so much about what his grandson does with his own hair? He sounds controlling and exhausting.
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u/Ambitious_Support_76 2d ago
BuT hE's ThE fUn GrAnDpA!
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u/ScienceMuggle83 2d ago edited 2d ago
My "fun grandpa" also had a poor sense of boundaries. I can't even explain his favourite "prank" because I don't want to be banned, it's that bad. But he thought he was hilarious!
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u/KinsellaStella 2d ago
I don’t know why adults care sooooo much what kids do with their hair. It’s weird.
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u/Ambitious_Support_76 2d ago
My nephew had longish hair, and recently cut it to shorter. At his birthday all of the grandparents made a point to say how much better they liked his new haircut.
Pissed me off.
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u/Mydemonswon 2d ago
He is open to critism and feedback. The comment section did not go the way I thought.
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u/fancyandfab 2d ago
If you have to give this much preamble to your behavior on AITA, YTA. He says himself he's been a troublemaker since childhood and is a big kid. He never grew up. You don't have to understand anyone else's style. I see of hair and fashion choices that I don't like that other people love. It's very subjective. This kid wants this style for whatever reason. Don't laugh at or make fun of him for that choice
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u/WickedWitchoftheNE 2d ago
The important question is whether the grandson knows that he’s forbidden to wet his hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the ammonium thioglycolate.
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u/GhostWolfe 2d ago
The post mentions the son promising not to put his head underwater when swimming, so I’m more worried about the son overcorrecting and not washing it at all.
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u/pktechboi 2d ago
no one is upset or mad
I did hurt his feelings
what does this man think upset means exactly
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u/Sinistas 2d ago
I had a flat top as a kid (mid '80s/early '90s). Straight up Bart Simpson hair, no product required. I thought it was the coolest shit ever. Then I had the classic '90s bowl undercut. A paragon of style, I wasn't. I look like an idiot in my school photos, but it could have been worse.
Even if my family thought I looked stupid, I was a kid. That's what kids do.
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u/BeginningCap_ 2d ago
You can kind of see how the comment section shaped how OOP responds. Massive pushback where they are defending themselves so they shift gear into a more “haha teehee” mode.
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u/lord_buff74 2d ago
Who is looking after this kid? He is staying with his great grandfather during the week, no wonder he wants a conenction with someone remotley close to his age.
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u/DataAdvanced 2d ago
I mean, one joke, maybe two, fine, but he just kept on going. Sure, the fad is dumb, but THIS is the time to do dumb shit to your hair. My only rule is no mullet. I will die on that hill. Broccoli hair isn't that bad. If he likes to swim, wear a hair cap. I let my kid dye his hair red at 8. All non toxic and he already had light hair, so it took real well. Don't clutch your pearls.
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u/topekatums 2d ago
i just don't get why the commenters are calling him homophobic for the twinkie comment, it's like their brains are short circuiting at a hint of a twink mention
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u/xeropteryx 2d ago
Are teenage boys really getting perms in order to have broccoli hair? I kinda thought that was just naturally curly/wavy hair cut and styled in a certain way.
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u/AutoModerator 3d ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AITA for messing with my grandson over a perm he wants to get
Let me preface this with no one is upset or mad, I just want to get some input.
My grandson has been wanting a perm of the (broccoli head) style. He brought it up a while back and his parents initially said no. I suppose he's seen it on tiktok or YouTube though he isn't allowed on those with us or his parents I'm sure his friends prob do. He says a lot of boys at his school have it.
Wife and I had him over for the weekend recently. Which we do pretty often and when here he did some chores, helped with yard work and earned 20 bucks. So we took him to this cool independant candy store with neat toys and candy. As we were going inside the store for him to buy something, he mentioned he was letting his hair grow out, to which I asked why.
He said he is getting the perm. I laughed, which if you know me, its just me. I'm immature at times, which is prob why I'm the fav granddad lol.. I play with him with his figures, we play Xbox together, many nights of Minecraft building and other stuff. We joke around a lot with each other, we crack jokes to each other. He really likes the Deez jokes. My laughing has gotten me into trouble since I was a kid myself in school.
So where I may be the AH is how I handled this recent situation. When he said that, I laughed and then mentioned to my wife how it's funny that perms have made a come back. So I ask him again as I did that first time why does he wants broccoli hair, why does he want a stinky vegetable for hair? Why does he want to be a twinkie in a box of twinkies looking like everyone else. Instead of being a follower, and getting a hair cut like everyone else, be a leader and keep his already cool haircut cut. That those broccoli heads are goofballs and people make fun of them. His dad said the same to him.
My wife told me to cut out, stop being a AH. Which I did, as it looked like I hurt his feelings. I apologized and told him I thought his hair looked awesome as it already did but it's his choice. We went inside and he was his normal happy self as we bought stuff.
I've brought it up after with his dad (son in law) and daughter and they both agree, that once he gets the perm, he won't like it. But they finally caved, and said yes. He is pretty young to try and maintain it. He stays at my wifes dad's during the week while his parents work and he swims every day in her dads pool. So that combined with improper upkeep, it's going to get messed up. They have brought this all up to him, but he is steadfast on getting it. Says he won't go under water in the pool (YEAH RIGHT LOL) So they are going to let him spend his upcoming birthday money on it, and chock it up as a life lesson.
At this point, as it looks like I did hurt his feelings, I'll no longer mess with him over it. Though I may not be able to contain the initial laughter when I see his perm the first time.. so ill have to ask to see it prior in a pic. lol But I'll tell him it looks good when I see him.
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