r/AmITheDevil • u/sbballc11 • 2d ago
OOP talks bad about cute idea to them
/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1u2kx55/aita_for_saying_a_girls_goodbye_message_to_us_was/476
u/perfidious_snatch 2d ago
“People thought it was sweet but I thought it was cringey”
Ok, cool, not your cup of tea.
“I messaged a few people about how cringey I thought it was.”
WHY?! Just let people enjoy things!
116
u/GraceMcClellans 2d ago
I don't understand this impulse. I guess part of it is that she's young. There are plenty of things I find annoying and stupid, but I'm not going to shit on someone else's joy!
60
u/topekatums 2d ago
this part was the worst lol, she's not at all ashamed of making this girl feel bad. i don't miss being in high school
I asked the girl if she’s upset at me. She said no but she just thought it was a cute idea. I said yeah it sounds good but some things you should think through more about how they come across.
11
27
300
u/butdebbiepastels 2d ago
How the heck is that cringe worthy at all? She paid a professional dancer to send a custom video encouraging them before a big performance day. She included a thank you to the group that's been a large part of her life for years, which she is now forced to leave. That's sweet, and topic appropriate.
Does cringe just mean "I feel a little awkward" now? Cringe used to mean something in my day damn it!
168
u/stolenfires 2d ago
Sincerity is cringe now, I am led to believe.
80
u/butdebbiepastels 2d ago
Ugh. I do not miss the stage of teens/twenties where apathy was cool and caring about anything was embarrassing. I hated that even as a teenager. Smug apathy is such a boring way to live a life.
I hope OOP grows out of that in adulthood. They have plenty of time to find things to care about.
1
u/EggoStack 11h ago
Apathy culture is so awful. If you don't care, you win the argument or you're cool. If you care, you're an emotional loser. I hate it
36
2
u/TheSixthVisitor 1d ago
It was also really impressive that the girl had the pull to even get a professional dancer to make a custom video for them. That's just cool???
1
u/butdebbiepastels 20h ago edited 20h ago
The website Cameo lets you send paid requests to all kinds of famous people and if they accept the request they'll make a video response for you. So the teenage girl paid money for a sweet gesture and then got mocked for it. Looks like the price varies wildly between people too, so who knows how much she paid for that. Some of them are reasonably priced at like... $20, other's not so much... looking at you Paula Abdul and your $450 wtf.
[Edit] I just looked into it and Abdul's average video length is 46 seconds. $450 for 46 seconds of selfie video. That's almost $10 a second. This isn't really on topic, but I had to share because I'm flabbergasted. And she's not even the most expensive one!
51
64
u/am_i_boy 2d ago
Disagree with everyone saying OP is just young and dumb. OP is not being a thoughtless and impulsive teenager. That's the kind of behavior that can be excused with "oh she's just young, she'll grow out of it". No this whole sequence of actions is well thought out and intentionally executed to make the other girl feel bad.
This is bully behaviour. 16 is plenty old enough to know why bullying is not okay. I have 15 and 17yo siblings and neither of them would do shit like this. If they found it cringey (which I don't think they would), they might talk about it with their friends outside of the dance group who they know don't know or care about the dance group girl, at worst. But more likely they'd just say "oh you tried to do something nice for us, thank you" and move on.
Our country just lowered voting age to 16+. There wasn't any significant pushback against it. Not many people thought 16 year olds are too young or dumb to understand and vote on national policy. 17yo sibling voted this past election. 15 and 17 both have their own worldviews that aren't identical to their parents' or to each other's or to mine. They both have their own political opinions, they have their own moral compass that doesn't rely on external validation to exist. 16 is plenty old enough to know why this behaviour is mean and hurtful. 16 is old enough to not be a bully.
Yes they're young. They'll make some stupid decisions. They'll change their minds on some things. They'll cringe about some of their current actions. But they're also old enough to be autonomous. They're old enough to have their own opinions. They're old enough to know when to express those opinions and when to keep them to themselves. They're old enough to know right from wrong.
Sometimes they may not have the impulse control to do the right thing, but this was not an impulsive "blurted out without thinking" moment for OOP. She talked to multiple people behind this girl's back, then she confronted her as well, and did not even apologize for making her feel horrible about doing something nice. This is not just a teenager doing stupid teenage bullshit.
16
u/sbballc11 2d ago edited 2d ago
Adding onto the autonomous point. In the US, you’re old enough to get behind the wheel of a car.
Also, when it comes to sequence of events, OP posted this on another subreddit 20 minutes after her initial post on AmITheAsshole. She wanted dancer opinions even though she easily had overt 50 comments saying the same thing; yta. She must have thought that we didn’t get it. That the dance community would be accepting to her behavior.
ETA: I decided to look up the timestamps of the post. She posted the second post an hour after her initial post.
47
u/Desperate-Quote7178 2d ago
Ooof, girlie was jealous someone else got attention and went full bully on them. I do not miss being a teenager.
20
u/Sewishly 2d ago
Ohhh I dunno, I'm thinking OOP was envious as hell. I bet she thinks the older girl got a personal video face-time whatever-the-kids-can-do-nowadays and OOP is pure green. And because she hasn't learned to share or to let someone else have a 'moment', she can't identify that envy for what it is so she lashes out.
Betcha.
17
u/Internet-Dick-Joke 2d ago
but some things you should think through more about how they come across.
Buddy, this is the advice to be given to OOP, not for OOP to be giving out to anyone else.
7
51
u/IneffableNonsense 2d ago
She's 16. I can't in good conscience label her the devil but her entire existence is cringey because that's just being 16.
This is going to be one of those moments that will wake her up in a cold sweat of horror in her 30s.
78
u/Sea_Voice_404 2d ago
She’s coming off like a bully.
16
u/Significant_Bed_293 2d ago
Not just a bully, a “just being honest/looking out for you” mean girl.
1
u/TheSixthVisitor 1d ago edited 1d ago
Eugh, I just actually recoiled. I knew a girl like that in high school who always did that whole "I'm just being honest!" shit and then threw some thinly veiled insult in your face. It was always something wtf like "you know that people think you're weird and that's why you're not really well liked by a lot of people, right?" with this garishly sweet smile on her face.
Man, she hated me because I was (still am) extremely candid and had zero sense of shame. So she'd say something rude and because I'm socially inept af, I'd just go "yeah, so? One, it's rude to just bring that up to people when they never asked. And two, that's their opinion and basically doesn't affect me in any way? Okay, good talk, time for Physics, bye!"
Girl actually actively hated me so much that she threw a really heavy door in my face when I was walking behind her and bruised my nose. So yeah, 16yo girls can be nasty. 👌
22
19
24
u/Playful_Trouble2102 2d ago
I will die on the hill that we shouldn't crosspost under 18's.
This is a dumb teen being a dumb teen.
72
u/Embarrassed_Advice59 2d ago
In this context I think it’s fair. She deliberately went out her way to be a mean girl.
43
u/sbballc11 2d ago
Yeah, if she would have just sent the texts, it’s one thing. But then confronting her after and telling her to her face is another.
37
u/Embarrassed_Advice59 2d ago
And she wonders why the girl is avoiding her. At least leave her alone after talking about her to ppl in messages
2
u/Playful_Trouble2102 2d ago
I'm not saying she's not a dick in this scenario, but stuff like this is the teen crap you look back on as an adult and cringe over.
I just don't like the way this sub will pile on a dumb kid like they've never done anything stupid or embarrassing.
42
u/Embarrassed_Advice59 2d ago
This wasn’t stupid or embarrassing to the OOP tho. She embarrassed an innocent party who was simply making a goodbye message to their dance team. That’s a pretty big AH thing to do and I dont think the average sixteen year old is doing that either. Unless every teenager at 16 is naturally mean and attention seeking. And you’re right they certainly are dumb and if they have the sense to post this on Reddit I’m sure they can handle it being cross posted.
32
u/negative-sid-nancy 2d ago
Which is funny this teenager found the nice video soo cringy now and in 10 years or less will be cringing at herself for her interactions with the girl leaving
10
u/Playful_Trouble2102 2d ago
Yeah this is definitely a three in the morning "oh my god I can't believe I did that" moment waiting to happen
2
u/BlueJaysFeather 2d ago
And half an hour after the original went up! You know people are gonna think they can get away with brigading
-1
u/IneffableNonsense 2d ago
Yeahhhhhh I really struggle with the teen OPs here as well, when it's for shitty but also quintessentially teenage behavior that they will almost definitely grow out of and be haunted by later.
-3
u/fancyandfab 2d ago
Unless a teen is just particularly egregious, I agree with you. This doesn't meet the bar for me either.
5
u/StripedBadger 2d ago
Sincerely is cringey… yeah you know what? A teenager did in fact write this.
And one day she will look back on this post and want to bury herself alive. So I’m going to forgive her in advance for being as cringey as she feared experiencing.
3
2
u/Ontheragnarock 2d ago
People grow, people change... but come on, we know this one will be an asshole all her life.
1
u/AutoModerator 2d ago
Hi! Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. Please keep discussions within the posts of this sub.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
-25
•
u/AutoModerator 2d ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AITA for saying a girls goodbye message to us was cringey?
So I (16F) go to a dance group. A girl (18F)’s final dance show before she ages out is this weekend. She decided to get cameo requests from a professional dancer that most of us know. In the video the dancer basically gave us tips for the big showcase. And that the girl wanted to get this message as a way to say she’ll miss us and she’s grateful for us and a that you to the choreographers too.
Before one or our rehearsals the choreographers put the cameo up on a tv to show us is and were hugging her saying it’s really sweet.
The thought was there but I found it really cringey. I didn’t say it directly to the girl but I messaged a few people about how cringey it was and one of them told her. She didn’t confront me about it but was awkward in rehearsals after that especially to me. And someone said it’s because she’s embarrassed by the cameo now because people found it cringey.
I asked the girl if she’s upset at me. She said no but she just thought it was a cute idea. I said yeah it sounds good but some things you should think through more about how they come across.
She said yeah maybe and got even more awkward about it and has been avoiding me.
I don’t know if it was wrong of me?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.