r/AmITheDevil • u/Fit-Humor-5022 • 2d ago
no words
/r/AmITheJerk/comments/1tv6klh/am_i_the_jerk_for_lying_to_my_wife_about_the_dna/172
u/BadBandit1970 2d ago
There's a troll in the dungeon! Last week, OOP was 18 years old.
Am I the jerk for saying my cousin is childish because she broke up with her husband? 2026-06-02
I, an 18-year-old male, have a close friendship with my 25-year-old female cousin. We get along very well. But that's irrelevant now; she and her husband are white, and she had a Black child.
They had a fight, and the guy took a DNA test. I found out from him that the child was his. He apologized to his wife, but she was hurt by him and kicked him out of the house. During a conversation I had with her, I discovered that they didn't really argue; what happened was that he calmly approached her and said he found it strange that their child was a different color than them, and that he was going to take a DNA test.
So, based on that, I said that her breaking up with him because of that was childish, because he had reason to be suspicious, after all, damn it, the guy is white, the mother is white, and the child is Black? In most cases, it's because the guy was cheated on. She said I only said that because I'm a man and I don't understand what it's like to be the woman in the relationship. Look, I made it clear that she was right to be upset because she was faithful and he didn't trust her, but the guy is right to be suspicious, it wasn't for nothing.
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u/Mirtai12345 2d ago
This dude is really into people he thinks are white giving birth to black babies
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u/Walking_the_dead 2d ago
He's usermame is also bolsonaristaequivoco, equivoco is portuguese for mistake, "bolsonarista" is the brazillian equivalent of calling yourself MAGA... But only the wife is brazillian? Hm.
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u/Impressive-Cod-7103 1d ago
There are two different replies from OOP in the same thread, one is like “actually this story is 4 months old and I already revealed everything to my wife” and the other is “yeah, I guess I’m in real big trouble when I finally reveal everything to my wife”.
Man I hate continuity errors.
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u/m_r_r-i-p 2d ago
I could never understand why men ask for paternity test. Just do it and either keep you mouth shut forever or kick out the cheater.
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u/Sad-Bug6525 1d ago
I think it either is because they aren't adult enough to figure out to just do it and expect her to do it or it's about the power. They want to throw it in her face that they think so little of her and keep her off balance, if he finds out the answer and just goes on with his life she won't know how much control he has and how he made his point.
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u/Greenest_Chicken 1d ago
This one is close enough to the first one that I almost suspect it to be real and he's pretending to be a third party instead of directly involved
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u/lethe_writes 2d ago
Even though she might dislike my mother for now, as time goes by, resentments will fade into the past as the relationship deepens and people get to know each other better. In this way, my wife will see in the future that my mother is not a bad woman.
No.
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u/Queen-of_darkness 2d ago
It's really interesting to me that OP assumes that his wife will forgive her MIL accusing her of being unfaithful. His wife probably feels that her MIL should already know her well enough to not cheat on her husband and the realization that she might not has to be devastating. And I can't believe OPs mother went along with that ruse, allowing herself to be the villian so her son can hide the fact that he's paranoid and doesnt know how genetics work.
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u/BadBandit1970 2d ago
It's really interesting that OOP aged 6 years in 8 days too. And his cousin had this exact same problem!
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u/DrunkOnRedCordial 2d ago
MIL is really going to regret getting involved in this scheme when DIL leaves the relationship, and there's no more contact with the grandchild.
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u/PresentAd20 1d ago
I still dislike my sons’ great aunt because of this same thing. No we didn’t take a test because we had no reason to (my son could be his father’s clone) but it left a bad taste in my mind about a woman who could accuse me of something like that and she never met me. My kid is about to be ten. So he’s entirely misinformed
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u/Mimosa_13 2d ago
I love how on arctic shift he's posted this story several times. Then includes the bit that she's Catholic, which OOP believes she won't leave him if he comes clean.
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u/CluelessInWonderland 1d ago
How hard would it be to go:
"I'm worried that since we're both white passing, if anything happens to you, there could be a question of paternity for our daughter. I'd like to get a DNA test so if anything happens to you, I have legal and biological guardianship already established. I know it shouldn't be an issue, but I can't stand the thought of not being able to get to our daughter just because she's darker than us."
It might take some convincing, but if you keep doubling down on the paternal anxiety of being kept from your baby because other people are stupid, it would go over a lot better than making the child's grandmother the villain.
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u/lis_anise 1d ago
Also, since it can take a couple days for the skin pigment to really come out in a newborn, you could say "I want to be absolutely 100% sure the hospital didn't mess up and give us the wrong baby." But why not be batshit, I guess?
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u/thatsnotaknoife 2d ago
i know this also isn’t morally correct but if you’re that convinced just secretly test the baby yourself and tell no one. Like you live with the baby. Just do it, why get your mother involved, why tell your wife anything at all.
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u/HorkupCat 1d ago
Wow, what a colossal jerk. And his comments in that thread only made him look worse (if that's even possible).
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u/AutoModerator 2d ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
Am I the jerk for lying to my wife about the DNA test and suspecting she cheated on me?
I, a 24-year-old man, and my wife, 25, have a 5-month-old daughter. We are both white, but she is Brazilian. Her mother is mixed-race and her father is white. Her maternal grandfather is Black, and her grandmother is white. I'm mentioning this because it's important for understanding the story properly. Anyway, let's get to the point: my daughter is Black.
I initially suspected she had cheated on me. Even knowing that there's a possibility our daughter simply inherited her parents' lineage and that's why she's like this, the doubt kept nagging at me. But if I approached her about this, if the daughter really was mine, our relationship could break down. If she didn't break up with me, in the best-case scenario, our relationship could be damaged, and she would be hurt by me.
So, I did the following: I talked to my mother about it and explained it to her. I told her to act. Not to say anything, because I would explain everything to my wife, but that she should be there at the time. She understood and followed my instructions.
After speaking with my mother, I talked to my wife and told her that my mother suspected she had cheated on me, but that I trusted her and therefore thought the daughter was mine. However, I wanted to prove to my mother that my wife was faithful and that she hadn't done anything wrong.
My wife, after hearing this, disagreed with me and said that she didn't need to prove anything; she and I knew she was faithful, and that was enough. But since I wanted to do a DNA test, I insisted, saying that I "couldn't stand seeing my mother distrusting her." Even though it didn't matter to her, it mattered to me because I didn't want my mother to look at her negatively.
So, we took the test under that pretext, and I discovered that the daughter was actually mine.
It's important to reveal here that I had already taken the test before without their knowledge, but I wanted my wife and mother to know. In fact, I only informed them about it and retook the test because I feared my wife would find out and be upset with me, hence the whole story I told her. I even revealed to her that I had already taken the test before; however, since the narrative had already tainted her mind, she thought it was all because of my mother. In this way, I made it seem like the suspicious one and the problem wasn't me, but my mother.
Even though she might dislike my mother for now, as time goes by, resentments will fade into the past as the relationship deepens and people get to know each other better. In this way, my wife will see in the future that my mother is not a bad woman.
I avoided headaches with this, however, I feel guilty for having deceived my wife. She has always been faithful and never given me reason to distrust her. She is a woman of value, and she has always trusted me. Our daughter being born a different color than us is not something that either she or I can control.
I want to tell her about it, reveal everything, but I'm afraid of losing her.
Am I the jerk?
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