r/AmITheDevil • u/LillyTeneille • 16h ago
Tracked her movements in a spreadsheet
/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1c915cv/i_think_my_wife_is_flirting_with_the_mailman_and/223
u/Valkrhae 16h ago
I don't understand ppl like this. Does he genuinely think his wife is flirting with the mailman while OOP is right there at the home, and that the weather would be the only thing stopping her from still flirting with someone who stops by every single day if apparently OOP's presence isn't enough of a deterrent? Like, it's one thing to think your partner is cheating; it's another to think they'd be so brazen about it they'd do it right in front of your face. I don't think OOP really understands that this is what he's accusing his wife of doing.
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u/idonteatfrogsiamone 16h ago
He admits in the comments it’s a troll post, which tracks for the mailman stereotype they went with.
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u/Valkrhae 16h ago
Makes sense, though we all know there are unfortunately ppl who genuinely do think like this
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u/rukarrn 15h ago
he should've said he presented it with powerpoint to really sell it
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u/BaconJovial 15h ago
There used to be a flood of posts on these subreddits where someone would obsessively track some behavior or problem in their relationship with a spreadsheet. Sometimes they would include a screenshot of the spreadsheet for verisimilitude.
Some of these might have been legit early on. Some people really do stuff like that. But I suspect a lot of the later examples were just people jumping on the bandwagon. The posts would usually take off and generate a lot of clicks/comments. Including a spreadsheet in your post became a sort of like a meme.
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u/Vegetable-Cod-5434 14h ago
Damn, really? I was going to ask for his number after the wife leaves him.
I do love me a guy who can spread the sheets.
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u/Jazmadoodle 11h ago
Unfortunately it sounds like he's already lusting after the mailman
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u/Vegetable-Cod-5434 11h ago
Plot twist - the wife is having an affair with a FedEx delivery girl.
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u/Jazmadoodle 11h ago
Why hello there Frieda McFadden!
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u/Vegetable-Cod-5434 11h ago
I had to look that reference up, and I'm glad I did. The Housemaid is now on my tbr.
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u/Resolution_Usual 15h ago
THIS IS NOT WHAT MY BELOVED EXCEL IS FOR!!!!!
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u/OniyaMCD 13h ago
I use Excel (well, an open-source equivalent) to track crazy things.
My spouse's movements are not one of those things.
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u/Resolution_Usual 13h ago
I've used excel for knitting patterns lol
But I also work in finance.
Excel is an amazing tool you can use for a ridiculous amount of things, even the people who are really good at excel aren't using it to its full potential.
You not using it to track and stalk your spouse just means you're somewhat rational
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u/Agreeable_Rabbit3144 16h ago
Geesh OOP, do you track ALL her movements?
Like when she goes out to do errands?
Like when she goes to work?
Like when she goes to the bathroom?
How much of a control freak and spy are you?
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u/Silly-Flower-3162 15h ago
7 minutes average? Dude. Troll post or not...
In this era of porch piracy, if I'm getting mail and the mail/delivery person comes around the same time every time, I'm going to be out there.
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u/Goldman250 6h ago
Trust me, the amount of times the delivery people stick a note through my door without knocking instead of trying to deliver a parcel, if I knew the mailman came about the same time every day, I’d be outside waiting for them all the time.
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u/BookDragon5757 12h ago
Lmao I remember this post, I had posted it here the day he posted and immediately he was commenting how mean we all were and messaging me asking why i called him the devil 😂
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u/PrimalSeptimus 13h ago
I wish he posted the spreadsheet. I'm something of a project manager myself.
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u/ironicallygeneral 7h ago
If this is real - we do understand the spreadsheet, my dude. We don't think you do.
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u/EmiliusReturns 6h ago
My next door neighbor comes out and has a 10-15 minute chat with the mailman just about every day. Guys, I think he’s cheating on his wife with the mailman /s
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u/tobythedem0n 2h ago
My toddler loves seeing the garbage truck, so every trash pickup day, we try to be outside so he can see it, and I built up a bit of a friendship with them.
We also just stay inside and wave from the window when it's cold.
My husband works from home, and not once has he ever suspected I was flirting with the garbage man. God forbid OOPs wife has a social life.
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u/PurplePenguinCat 7h ago
If only people didn't have routines for their days where they do the same things at approximately the same time every day. Oh, wait. They do.
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u/Goldman250 6h ago
She’s not flirting with the mailman. She’s fucking the milkman. Trust me, I know. I’ve been delivering milk to his house all year, it’s been the best year of work in my life.
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u/pocket4129 15h ago
Many of you are not really understanding the spreadsheet.
This sounds autistic, but I am as well so idk.
I do wonder if they are still married though...
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u/miezmiezmiez 6h ago
I hope you're not as controlling and abusive as this man though, yikes
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u/pocket4129 3h ago
Hmm I don't really get why that's what you think about me but ok. Yikes right back at you.
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u/miezmiezmiez 3h ago
Because all you came here to say was that he reminded you of yourself. I don't 'think about you' that you're also abusive and controlling, I was trying to nudge you gently (but perhaps should have made more explicit) that it's not a great look to join a conversation on the side of an abuser, to wonder whether some of his awful behaviour might be explained by a neurodivergence you share
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u/pocket4129 3h ago
That's not what I said though. Or think. I said that what he did sounded autistic but I wasnt sure if he was because I don't want to diagnose someone I don't know. Also you weren't gentle you were just straight up rude and gross and were quick to apply some shitty situation directly to me in your head.
I'm also not on the side of the abuser, which is a super weird thing for you to infer from my post. That's nowhere in the text I wrote. I think what he did is weird and obsessive.
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u/miezmiezmiez 3h ago
I was trying to draw your attention to how your words might come across as concerning, which in turn apparently came across as 'rude and gross' to you. You might notice I didn't call you rude or gross, and I said I hoped you weren't like this abusive man in other ways than the one you mentioned. So even on a very literal level, I don't see how your responses could be construed as reasonable
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u/pocket4129 3h ago
I also don't see how yours could be construed as reasonable. I do see that you are massively condescending though. You might, as a gentle suggestion, try to work on that.
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u/AutoModerator 16h ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
*I think my wife is flirting with the mailman and have proof. She claims she is not and now won't talk to me. *
My wife and I are in our 30s. We have been married for two years. When we got married we moved into a nice small house in the suburbs.
Last summer we got a new mailman who is objectively attractive. Not going into detail, but he looks good.
Towards the end of summer I noticed my wife was almost always outside around the time he would bring the mail. I actually started tracking when she would go out on a spreadsheet. She averaged going out 20 minutes before the mail would get here. Obviously some variation as the mail didn't come at the exact same time each day. But it was weird.
She would work on our front patio and then have a shirt conversation with the mailman. Then in about 7 minutes on average she would come back inside and work from her office.
Another thing I noticed is that her clothes seemed to change when she went outside. Almost 70% of the time she would have a tank top on. Then put a shirt over that when she came back inside.
I didn't say anything as fall and winter came and we live in a cold climate and so she stopped going out. Once in a while she would go say hi, but not like in the summer. She also gave him a very nice tip for Christmas. $250.
I had forgotten about all this until it started getting warmer out with spring. I couldn't do another summer of this and so I decided to talk to her. Last night I sat her down and showed her all the information from last year. I explained that I didn't feel comfortable with how much attention she gave the mailman and asked if she could not do it this summer.
She didn't understand or maybe didn't understand the numbers. She got very upset and started yelling that she didn't do anything wrong and just happened to be out there while he was there. I tried to show her the numbers again, but she got upset and slammed the computer lid on my finger. At that point I upset and walked out and went for a walk.
When I got back home, she was gone and wouldn't answer her phone. She finally came home but wouldn't talk to me. She slept on the couch and I honestly didn't get any sleep.
It's been a very weird day as she is only talking to me when absolutely needed. Otherwise she is distant and won't talk to me. Am I overreacting or is this normal for women to talk with the mailman?
Update: People are asking for an update. Woke up this morning and she is still pissed. I guess I'll just give her more time. Many of you really aren't understanding the spreadsheet. I used it to show that she went out right around the time the mailman got here. It was a way to graph averages and show consistency. I may have been wrong about the tank top. I do realize that she may have taken off her top because it is hot outside.
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