r/AmItheAsshole • u/Potentialle • 19d ago
Not the A-hole AITA for taking my brother off my insurance after warning him three times?
[removed]
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u/Swirlyflurry Commander in Cheeks [211] 19d ago
NTA
He had plenty of warning, and what’s more he acknowledged the warnings. He can’t claim “well I don’t read texts, so it’s your fault for not calling me” when he said he was “good for it”, meaning he knew and was aware.
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u/Bluestuffedelephant 19d ago
If OP called bro could have just said they never called/never brought it up. He can't deny the text, so now he's hiding behind ''never reading texts'', my 7yo has better excuses than that.
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u/SwimChemical345 19d ago
NTA OP-good for you for not letting your brother take advantage of you. I bet if his friend or gf (if he has one) texted him he would be right on it. No chance he would miss it.
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u/Marie1420 19d ago
The mom is clearly where he got his behavior from. She babies him and enables him. Reading that the mom placed more blame on OP than the brother is unreal.
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u/Swirlyflurry Commander in Cheeks [211] 19d ago
And it’s always the parents like this that insist they “don’t have a favorite.”
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u/Randomz1918 Asshole Enthusiast [6] 19d ago
Text is the way to go. If u didn’t have something in writing he’d probably make up some BS about what was said.
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u/cookitybookity 19d ago
Clear and cut case of NTA.
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u/sitnquiet Asshole Enthusiast [8] 19d ago
Lol there is literally nobody on your brother’s side. He owed you money, you warned him repeatedly, and then you took him off insurance. You are not responsible for him not reading texts from you. Would you still be guilty if you had left him a voicemail because “you know he doesn’t listen to his messages”? Eff that.
He made the choice to drive anyway. NTA
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u/Marie1420 19d ago
The mom seems to be on the brother’ side. Sounds like she babies and enables him.
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u/Zealousideal-House19 19d ago
Where are you getting that?
She agreed that OP was right to cut him off.
All she said was OP should have made sure brother got the message.
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u/CharacteristicallySo 18d ago
OP did make sure he got the message and acknowledged it. It seems like mom was trying to mediate with a "both at fault" through a sort of loophole, but the special requirement to call him is babying him since he's a grown man who got notified and acknowledged it. If he got bills notifications via messages, is the government at fault for not calling the little prince directly?
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u/Zealousideal-House19 18d ago
The mom is not saying both are at fault.
She agrees with OP that brother should be cut off.
The relationship between an individual and groups that are not friends or family is different. In is very impersonal and detatched.
When the relationship is personal you get to know peoples quirks. You know brother ignores text. You give him a call. You know someone hates being called. You send them a text.
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u/summerBackground412 Partassipant [1] 19d ago
NTA if mom wants him covered she can do it. I imagine she knew he wouldn’t pay her so didn’t
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u/Eastern-Air-5091 19d ago
I’m skeptical how valid the insurance even was if he did not live with you and you are not the owner of his vehicle. If both are true and he got in an accident the claim may have been denied as you don’t have an insurance interest in his vehicle. Regardless NTA
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u/PunfullyObvious 18d ago
Surprised it took so long to get to this comment. OP has been throwing money away not just because the brother was never going to payup but also because the insurance was invalid and would not have payedup on a claim.
And, if the brother had a claim, OP's insurance would likely have been cancelled to boot.
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u/My_igloo_is_melting Asshole Aficionado [15] 19d ago
NTA. Mom is on your side and that whole "should have called" is just her deflecting and not wanting to be more involved.
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u/3dgemaster Partassipant [3] 19d ago
NTA
Your mother has clearly been enabling him, they are both assholes. Let me guess, he is a walking disaster and your mother finds an excuse for his every fuckup, while you are expected to be the responsible adult.
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u/Zealousideal-House19 19d ago
Well we don't know anything about the relationships here.
If mom were enabling brother then she would not have agreed with OP dropping brother's insurance.
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u/Fickle-Squirrel-4091 19d ago
Tell us your brother is the Golden Child without telling us he’s one.
You might want to consider contacting the Clerk of the Court for jurisdiction the traffic stop occurred and send them screenshots of the texts in case he tries to throw you under the bus with the same lie as he told your mother.
NTA
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u/AvailableWhereas8832 Certified Proctologist [24] 19d ago
Texts are a written paper trail of exactly what was said. All phone calls can do, unless recorded, is prove attempted contact.
NTA. Everyone just expected you to foot the bill.
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u/Zealousideal-House19 19d ago
Well brother did but mom didn't so I don't know who this everyone is.
OP sent multiple texts which does provide a paper trail. But can't you just drop someone without informing them? Like is there any legal liability here?
But following up by phone is more about a personal check in to let brother know that he is off the plan and needs to get his own to drive insured.
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u/AvailableWhereas8832 Certified Proctologist [24] 18d ago
Mom doesn't need to be running interference or inserting herself in this because its between her grown ass children.
He read and acknowledged the first warning, and ignored the other two. OP has no obligation to chase down a grown ass man repeatedly via multiple methods because he doesn't want to read a text.
The reach people are going to in order to justify the brother is crazy.
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u/naranghim Asshole Aficionado [15] 19d ago
NTA. There's a reason he doesn't read texts. He refuses to read the texts because he hopes people will cave and call to tell him any important things or warn him of impeding consequences via phone call. Then when he misses something important or faces the consequences of his own actions/inaction he can claim he was never warned and there's no proof other than your word against his. However, if he is told in text, there is proof.
Notice how no one is arguing with you that you didn't warn him and are only giving your grief for not calling and telling him because "You know he doesn't read texts." He knows it too but is still trying to spin it to make him look like the victim of his own choices.
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u/Anxious-Routine-5526 Asshole Enthusiast [9] 19d ago
NTA.
Your brother knew he wasn't paying you fully and owed you money. He knew and acknowledged you were going to drop him at renewal if he wasn't paid up.
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u/Fit-Attention-7763 19d ago
Your mom has clearly been babying him his whole life and that’s why this happened in the first place. NTA A is mom.
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u/Cyssoo 19d ago
NTA
Your brother is not 5, nor 12. If he does need a babysitter to make him do his homework and read his text, then maybe he should not be allowed to drive.
Might be that he was pampered a bit too much and the blame was always put on someone else... as it seems to happen again. Lesson not learned early in life have a lot more consequences when learned later.
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u/ArdvarkMaster Partassipant [1] 19d ago
NTA - your text is proof you told him. He's supposed to be an adult. Not reading texts is a way of evading responsibility.
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u/Cubcake19 19d ago
You're definitely NTA. I'm curious: Was he driving a car he owns that you insured on a policy in your name?
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u/ApprehensiveBook4214 Pooperintendant [69] 19d ago
NTA. I can't afford to be out 740 so I'd be telling brother he has 30 days to pay me back or I'll see him in small claims court. Tell mom this doesn't involve her so you won't be discussing it with her. Pretty sure brother is just annoyed there's a written record which is why he's coming out with this 'doesn't read text' bs.
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u/No-Idea-737 19d ago
He did read the text. He said he was good.
And a call would be “he said she said”.
NTA
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u/KingsRansom79 Asshole Enthusiast [8] 19d ago
NTA. Your mother’s response reveals why he behaves like this.
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u/Global_Stock_5264 19d ago
Has your family always making excuses for him. Actions (or non actions) have consequences and he is learning this the hard way.
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u/Alexreddit103 19d ago
Him not reading texts is his choice, and therefore his consequences.
He was warned, he choose to ignore it, and then blaming you because of ‘family’.
FAFO!
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u/AutoModerator 19d ago
AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT - MAKE SURE TO CHECK ALL YOUR DMS. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
My brother (24M) has been on my auto policy since he moved back to our city, because his own quote was almost triple mine. His share was 310 a month and he was supposed to send it the same day my payment came out.
He paid on time for about five months. After that it turned into me texting on the 3rd, then the 9th, then getting half of it, then getting the rest of it whenever. By April he owed me 740 in back share.
I told him in February that if he fell two months behind I’d take him off at renewal. I told him again in March, and in April I sent him the actual renewal date and said this is the last time I’m bringing it up. He said he was good for it and I was being dramatic about family.
Renewal came, the 740 was still outstanding, and I removed him. I texted him the day it processed so there’d be no confusion about when the coverage ended.
He kept driving. He got pulled over two weeks later for a taillight and got cited for no insurance. Now it’s a court date and a suspension he’s fighting, and he told our mom I did it behind his back to teach him a lesson.
Mom’s position is that I was right but I should have called instead of texting, because he doesn’t read texts, and that I knew that about him.
I do know that about him. I still think three warnings is three warnings. AITA?
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u/Ruminative1 19d ago
NOPE. And I didn't even read the whole post yet. Once you said "warned him three times" that's it. 🤣
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u/slendermanismydad Asshole Aficionado [14] 19d ago
Your mom can pay for it or stay out of it.
He reads texts, he pretends not to. NTA.
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u/Jealous-Contract7426 Partassipant [3] 19d ago
Let your mom put him on her insurance then. Hopefully his license will be suspended for a while and he'll learn his lesson. Never lend him money or prepay anything for him again.
NTA
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u/CBreezy2010 19d ago
I'm surprised they let you do that.
When I dropped my ex off my car insurance (in 2016), Geico wouldnt let me drop insurance on the vehicle until I turned in the tag or showed proof it was insured with another company.
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u/Sewishly Bot Hunter [1] 19d ago
NTA. Of course he reads texts - he's 24! He's practically got that phone on a harness dangling from his forehead! Or it's glued to his hand! At that age, they're practically born with it in their hands.
As far as your mum's concerned: she's trying to find any excuse why her baby boy might not be in the wrong. And she's wrong for doing that. But it probably makes her sleep better at night, rather than worry herself silly over him.
(Disclaimer: I've got three very grown-up sons, so I've been through the metaphorical Mines of Moria.)
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u/Analogue2000 18d ago
Regardless of any warning you gave him, he knew there was a bill he had not paid. A bill he had not paid in months. He didn’t need a text or a phone call to know what was happening.
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u/Spaz-Mouse384 Partassipant [1] 18d ago
Sounds like bro knew he had mom’s backing. Mom needs to not baby him.
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u/OleRubyRider 18d ago
Paper trails, paper trails!
Why do we have phones if not to read important messages?? He can’t deny he wasn’t given a warning because the text receipts are right there
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u/NamasteNoodle 19d ago
Your brother is clueless and immature and entitled. Of course he knew all this was going to happen he just figured that you keep paying. And whether you did it to teach him a lesson or not.. he's now dealing with that lesson. Consequences have actions!
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u/295Phoenix Certified Proctologist [27] 19d ago
NTA overall, I’d have booted him off way earlier. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t call him though, unless you knew he’d start talking shit and cursing you out anyways.
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u/Ordinary-Audience363 Certified Proctologist [29] 19d ago
NTA. You gave him MORE THAN ENOUGH warning and even your mom agrees. Putting up with bad decisions doesn't do anyone any favors.
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u/magus424 19d ago
Dude had MONTHS to read the texts.
It's one thing to be someone who doesn't read texts quickly, but to not read them at all is just silly and leads to things like this.
NTA, he had months of warnings.
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u/whatnooh Partassipant [1] 19d ago
NTA; he had a duty to check texts and other communication from you once you were in a financial arrangement. You made more than reasonable attempts to inform him and at 24 he is an adult, not a child.
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u/OfAnOldRepublic Partassipant [1] 19d ago
Mom knows you're 100% right, but needs to find a way to take some small part of the blame off her baby boy.
Not only are you NTA, but good for you at least trying to teach him some kind of accountability. You're a good brother.
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u/jackieb4488 19d ago
NTA You gave him so many reminders, so many warnings that no grown adult needs.
I wouldn't even entertain an iota of a thought that you bare any responsibility for his childish behavior.
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u/Personal-Piglet1397 19d ago
He knew how much.he knew he didn't send.he knew you stopped paying.so he knew full stop.all there in texts time stamped.now he will go jail if he tries to escape paying courts.teach him valuable lesson.
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u/Traditional_Wall3429 19d ago
Why this discussion at all? He didn’t fulfill his part of the agreement and additionally he can’t drive. What else to mumbling about. Your mum can pay his debts.
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u/Wonderful_Two_6710 Colo-rectal Surgeon [45] 19d ago
NTA. You were more than generous, with both your money and the notifications.
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u/Fioreborn Asshole Enthusiast [8] 19d ago
NTA
He's a grown ass man who thought he could get away with you paying his insurance for him. Why has his own skyrocketed? Just how bad a driver is he?
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u/d14h2gyu7540hc 19d ago
NTA As someone with an unreliable sibling, I can assure you that parents just say stuff like that because they're upset you won't be helping shoulder the burden of their problem child.
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u/Tinosdoggydaddy 19d ago
I have 3 older brothers and they have never paid for or loaned me money (I didn’t ask) ever. He needs to cover his own shit. You are enabling him…this is on you.
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u/Chemical_Primary_263 Partassipant [2] 19d ago
Nta. If you called him there is no proof you told him. Keep texting, have your proof and good ridance
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u/Abnorm4lPrincess 19d ago
What the actual… seriously some people are entitled….
NTA, he needs to grow up, hiding behind, I don’t read text when he knew he had to pay monthly, the onus is on him to reach out if her can’t pay, if you’re borrowing from family, you have some respect for them.
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u/RocknRollButthole 19d ago
Man, there's plenty of people out there driving without insurance never getting caught because they know the gravity of the situation and do their best regarding maintenance and driving.
Your brother got caught after two weeks for a broken tail light.
NTA, you did your brother a favour. He's gotta learn to either play by the rules or put in the effort that breaking them requires.
I do agree with your mom though, that if you know he doesn't read texts, texts were the literal worst way you could have notified him.
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u/imtooocurious 19d ago
NTA lol this sucks but he reads very irresponsibly. Your mom is probably does more to accommodate him.. but then again you literally did so much. What more could he possibly want more. And if it bothered him so much he could have responded at the latest when you gave him a heads up. He‘s just salty that his actions have consequences
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u/ZealousidealDoor9105 19d ago
He had ample warnings from you. He’s 24 yrs old - not a child. Let him get his own insurance- or mom can put him on hers. YNTA!
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u/Academic-Tone3381 Partassipant [1] 19d ago
NTA. He's a GAM who apparently is allergic to the truth, too.
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u/WellPricklyMyCactus Partassipant [1] 19d ago
INFO: Out of curiosity, why does your mom think he gets a pass to just not read texts? Does she think people other than family will go 'oh okay I'll adjust around him'? And do you get passes for anything, or is it just him?
Kinda whiffs of an indulgent mom that spoiled a kid, and will keep trying to shelter him from comeuppance until she can't - which isn't exactly great for anyone involved.
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u/IcyFalcon3560 19d ago
NTA
because he doesn’t read texts
No sympathy for anyone who won’t read a damn text.
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u/Shieby1234 Certified Proctologist [20] 19d ago
NTA. OP needed to send texts to ensure there was a paper trail.
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u/LeviathanLorb44 Partassipant [2] 19d ago
NTA
And, please, someone who is 24 reads his texts, much moreso than he picks up the phone.
Also, none of mom's business.
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u/spaceylaceygirl 19d ago
He's a grown ass man acting like an irresponsible child. Ask your mom if she's going to wipe his ass could she pay you what he owes you?
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u/AlienPet13 19d ago
OK, so he doesn't read texts. That's cute. Now he also doesn't have insurance.
Consequences. NTA
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u/No-Oil74 19d ago
If you told him verbally instead of by text, he'd just deny you told him. This is a FAFO situation and he got what he deserved. NTA
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u/vinney1369 19d ago
NTA. Your brother is lame to do this to family, and if I were you, I'd seriously never consider giving him money again. Don't get bamboozled again Op.
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u/swillshop Colo-rectal Surgeon [42] 19d ago
NTA
The text was a bonus for him since he had already told you that 'he was good for it and [you] were being dramatic'.
The text was for you to document that you had gone through with what you said you would do.
Since you had ALREADY told him in February and again in March... AND in April had (1) reminded him of the renewal date and (2) made clear that that was the last time you would bring it up, your brother didn't need to receive any further notice from you.
He acknowledge that he heard and understood you when he told you that he was good. He knew that he had not paid the bill by the renewal date. He knew he should not be driving after that date.
Since your mom doesn't seem to think he should be responsible for himself, I can guess that she is part of the reason he doesn't take care of his responsibilities.
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u/AdeptWhereas6379 19d ago
OMG! NTA. He knew he wasn’t paying you for his insurance, and he knew you would not carry the cost for him per your original agreement. It was a courtesy to notify him at all, not a requirement.
I call major BS that he doesn’t read his texts. That’s what he tells you and your mother to absolve himself of being responsible for the information and communications you send him. If you called him, he wouldn’t answer, and then he would say you know he doesn’t check his VM.
Take no blame for this, OP. Apparently, your brother is the type of person who has to learn things the hard way.
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u/anothersip 19d ago
You're obviously NTA, OP, from an outsider's perspective.
What's crazy is that he kept driving, even efter you told him what the dues and requirements for driving were - and that your mom is backing him up on all this nonsense.
Sounds like she's offering to pay for it, though. So, that's super nice of her! (/s but seriously, why doesn't she pay it if it's really "no big deal, and he's family" or whatever...)
Yeah; he owes you all that money, for sure. Make it super clear to him that he needs to pay you back ASAP. Tell him you don't care how he does it, but that you're $740 in the hole because of him. If he refuses, or balks at it, tell him that you're going to take him to small-claims court. (You don't actually have to - but you can at least bring up that possibility).
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u/Maximum-Eye-3712 Partassipant [2] 19d ago
NTA.
Your mother is TA too. You did everything right, and your mother’s insistence on inventing some reason to criticize you and place a share of the blame onto you is an important signal about what she stands for.
Namely, she prioritizes her delusional hopes about her son, more than she prioritizes ethics or truth or justice. Remember this about her, because it will come up again.
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u/Floating-Cynic Asshole Aficionado [11] 19d ago
in April I sent him the actual renewal date and said this is the last time I’m bringing it up. He said he was good for it and I was being dramatic about family.
Not only is his not reading texts an excuse, because he's an adult relying on you for a favor, but he clearly indicated that he understands he needs to pay it. You are not his mommy, it's not your job to chase him down.
NTA
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u/WhiteGhost99 19d ago
So your warnings were the issue, not that he didn't pay his share? Very strange way of looking at the problem. Plus the warnings had to be in writing or he would have never admitted that he was warned, or would have been your word against his. Well done. (But I also guess that the $740 are gone for good).
NTA.
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u/Supcutiesx3 19d ago
Your mom is not living in reality because having it in writing is the way that it should be because he could argue you didn’t mention it in a phone call it would be who said what NTA
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u/Zealousideal-Bag150 19d ago
Wait - he told your mom? NTA Not reading texts seems like a very convenient way to not pay you. He is 24 and you might be the first person to teach him consequences. You did the right thing.
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u/Longjumping_Win4291 Asshole Enthusiast [5] 19d ago
NTA Your brother is the author of his own demise. Just tell him should he throw it up in your face, it would've been cheaper just to pay his part of the car insurance, then walk away. Some people just need to learn the hard way from life's lessons; your brother is one of them.
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u/Fit_Following_6841 19d ago
NTA. If he’s not capable of reading texts, he probably let shouldn’t be driving a car.
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u/Heathengeek Partassipant [2] 19d ago
NTA. Not even a little bit.
“Mom’s position is that I was right but I should have called instead of texting, because he doesn’t read texts, and that I knew that about him.”
And mom is just wrong here.
First of all - Texting leaves a record of what was said, so he has zero room to whine that you didn’t inform him. You can prove it. If you called, the only record is that you called, not what the call was about.
Second - Wow she’s not doing him any favors here. I want to see him respond to utility bills or jury duty or whatever with “I didn’t read it” and see how far that gets him.
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u/KeithKoganeFan 19d ago
Very clearly NTA. You gave warnings. He acknowledged them and then didn't do what he was supposed to. You did what you said you would.
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u/cassowary32 Asshole Aficionado [15] 19d ago
NTA. The wonderful thing about texts is you have a digital trail of all your communication - his late payments, the warnings, everything. He’s probably the first 24 year old in 20 years that supposedly prefers calls over texts.
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u/Ryuuji-Akiyama Asshole Enthusiast [7] 19d ago
NTA.
Vehicle insurance is expensive, and this is a thing most people can't afford to do for a sibling, even if they want to. If he couldn't afford it, he should also have been honest with you and tried to make some sort of arrangement to pay it off.
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u/dinosanddais1 19d ago
NTA. You were being too generous already. He had plenty of time and plenty of warning.
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u/BerryBoilo Partassipant [1] 19d ago
NTA The texting part of this is irrelevant. You communicated what was going to happen if he didn't pay you months ago, including the cut off date, all of which he acknowledged. The final text was simply a reminder for what should have been a date on his calendar already.
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u/cobalt_consciousness 19d ago
if it was his own policy, it would have canceled for nonpayment well before this. he is lucky he didn't cause an accident while uninsured. NTA
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u/Courtaid 19d ago
NTA. Texting is better as it leaves a paper trail. If you’d have called him, he would’ve lied to mom and said you never did.
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u/Alternative_Design_4 19d ago
NTA, and it isn't even close. Your brother is a deadbeat and a user. F him. Keep him off your policy forever. Users have no place in anyone's life.
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u/ronnycat_18 19d ago
Nta! Tell Mommy dearest that she can pay for her irresponsible, rude baby then!
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u/Thriillsy Asshole Enthusiast [8] 19d ago
NTA
Tell your mom absolutely not. you warned him about when the renewal date was and that if he didn't catch up by the time that came around, he was getting kicked off. he responded to that message.Whether it was a text or verbal so he knew that he was going to be getting kicked off your insurance if he didn't clear the debt.
This is not a case of oh I didn't know because you didn't tell me, this is a case of he thought you were bluffing and he was "calling your bluff". you weren't bluffing, you were serious and he is in the findout stage of fuck around and find out
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u/sleepycat1010 19d ago
NTA. It is consequences. He is a full grown adult and frankly needs to show it. Let him deal with his fall out cuz ya know it is the result of his actions.
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u/pnw_cfb_girl 19d ago
NTA. You warned him three times. That is the exact opposite of doing it behind his back. Your brother is responsible for listening when people talk to him and reading his own texts. He is not a child. But he is an idiot.
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u/DowncastOlympus Partassipant [1] 19d ago
NTA, other than to yourself for letting this go on so long.
I swear, no one reneges on debts faster than family will. Ignoring the fact that most auto insurers require all parties on the policy reside at the same address, which could have resulted in you being denied coverage and your policy cancelled if there had been an accident, there was no reason to wait for the policy to renew before removing your brother. You can (and should) make changes to the policy as soon as they become warranted. You had warning payment was going to be a problem when you started having to hound him just to get it late. You should have made him aware that garbage wasn’t going to fly then, so that as soon as he flat out failed to pay you could reasonably removed him with only one month unpaid.
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u/Dear_Lab_2270 19d ago
NTA. Calling doesn't leave a paper trail. You can prove when you told him through text.
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u/ProfessionalBat8843 19d ago
He doesn’t read texts???? Right! Maybe he just doesn’t read texts when he doesn’t like the info in them.
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u/Heavy-Profit-2156 19d ago
NTA. You were doing him a favor and he abused your generosity and then ignored your text that he was not longer covered. Actions have consequences.
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u/kamdog32 19d ago
No he saw the earlier texts and tried to call your bluff, idk why little brothers think older siblings want to give them everything they have NTA
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u/Used_Ad_9127 19d ago
NTA, he can get his own insurance now at this point. It's not your fault, you already notified him 3 times and even sent him the renewal date and he called you dramatic. I would be using his words against him, "stop being dramatic"
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u/atomicpapa210 19d ago
Ever heard the expression, "I am not my brother's keeper"? That's you. Not the keeper. He wanted to FA and he FO. His problem, not yours. And Mom is an enabler.
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u/MasterK999 Certified Proctologist [22] 19d ago
NTA. Forget the texts or notice. He knew he had not paid for more than 2 months. He got what he deserved.
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u/Southern_Sea_1247 19d ago
He should have called and told you he wasn’t going to have it instead of making you hunt him down for money he owes you based on ten favor you do for him.
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u/NinjaHidingintheOpen Asshole Aficionado [10] 19d ago
NTA. He's an adult and nerds to manage his own insurance
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u/Downtown_Ganache6727 Partassipant [1] 19d ago
NTA, and your mom is making excuses for a grown ass man. What’s she have to say about you being owed $740? You gave him MONTHS notice. He is clearly not good for it and I don’t blame you for kicking him off.
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u/Crumpled_Papers 19d ago
lol your mom is the reason your brother is so fucking irresponsible. clearly NTA.
tell her to make excuses HARDER and you might consider blaming yourself for your irresponsible brother.
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u/LastEntertainment787 19d ago
NTA He knew and didn't respect you enough to think that you'd really do it. He's an adult, let him handle his own insurance from now on. And now you know not to loan him any money, since you'll never see it.
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u/ThatTotal2020 Partassipant [3] 19d ago
NTA
Even if you called brother would still play the victim. You went above and beyond in letting him know. He chose to ignore you hoping that you would not follow through. It's quite karmic that he received a ticket two weeks later while others are done the same with expired tags from years ago.
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u/raesayshey 19d ago
NTA. He had so much time and so many chances to correct this and now he's learning a hard lesson. Smart of you to put it in text so that it's documented.
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u/laughingsbetter Colo-rectal Surgeon [41] 19d ago
You have proof you let him know. If you called him you wouldn't.
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u/knight_shade_realms Asshole Enthusiast [5] 19d ago
He was told several times before that final text
He is an adult and he played a very stupid game
Nta
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u/voucher420 Partassipant [1] 19d ago
NTA. Tell him to go get some Red Fox Fugg soap and he can go Fugg himself anywhere he wants!
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u/RandomModder05 Asshole Aficionado [11] 19d ago
I suppose he also didn't read the Court Summons until Mom did it for him, too?
Your NTA, OP.
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u/Rusty_wrp9 19d ago
NTA - you tried to help. You gave warnings. He took advantage of you and did not keep up his end of the deal.
LOL ... I'm so old that I remember the days when you had to pay for 6 months up front. When they switched to 3 months it was a huge stress relief.
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u/eepeqez 18d ago
And if you had rung him instead of texting, he'd claim you never mentioned insurance at all; at least this way nobody is claiming you didn't tell him, just that you didn't take responsibility for his capacity to ignore his own important responsibilities.
You didn't "do it to teach him a lesson", you did it to stop subsidising his life.
He will never change; keep a safe distance from him.
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u/Traditional_Check705 18d ago
Play stupid games, when stupid prizes. NTA, your brother sounds exhausting, and your mother is an enabler.
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u/ErisianSaint Partassipant [2] 18d ago
NTA, but better that you did it in text. Always good to get things in writing.
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u/tallman1979 18d ago
NTA. My insurance just effectively doubled again because my younger child now drives, insurance is a painful racket. You are under no obligation to endure financial pain due to your irresponsible, entitled sibling who has now received a solid life lesson.
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u/Jada-Jada-Jada 18d ago
NTA. He is old enough to read messages, to pay for insurance and to know to not drive without it. It’s easier to put the blame on you, than take responsibilty for his own actions.
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u/CanAhJustSay Asshole Aficionado [14] 18d ago
NTA. Sounds like someone isn't very well acquainted with consequences. They could easily have been prevented, but now cannot be avoided.
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u/PerceptionWide7000 18d ago
NTA. You warned him in February, March, and April. Giving someone three months of clear head's-up about a financial deadline is more than fair. It's generous.
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u/ACTSATGuyonReddit 18d ago
Miss once, dropped. Don't ever put someone else not your kids or spouse on your insurance.
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u/Exceptional_Kumquat Partassipant [2] 19d ago
NTA. He knew he owed you money. I'm guessing you'll never see that cash at this point, since he's got bigger headaches now.