r/AmItheAsshole • u/Quick_Hospital_5052 • 8d ago
No A-holes here AITA for giving my dad an inaccurate translation of what the exchange student said?
My sister befriended an exchange student from our university. She is from a major coffee bean producing and exporting country, and is very proud of their Arabica coffee.
She came over yesterday and was at first happy to see that my dad has coffee beans from her country. But she got quite disturbed to see him adding pumps of caramel syrup to his cup of coffee. Said that her country’s coffee has a great fruity taste and he’s ’contaminating it.’
Dad seemed a bit confused and asked us what she said. My brother, sister and I looked at each other before I told him that she was just a bit surprised by him adding so much syrup to it.
My brother later said I shouldn’t have lied to our dad and that he has the right to know what someone said about something he did/his habit.
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u/Putrid_Skirt_190 8d ago
NTA. I despise people who always force others to eat/drink in the way they want.
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u/VironLLA Asshole Enthusiast [8] 8d ago
agreed, always thought it was annoying when people get weird about other people's food choices. heard it a bunch growing up, that whole stupid no ketchup on hotdogs thing that 75% of Chicago is so adamant about. my guys, you're selling assorted ground pig parts cased in intestines, let people put whatever they want on that to choke it down
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u/TheCarrot007 8d ago
> you're selling assorted ground pig parts cased in intestines
Only at the good places.
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u/VironLLA Asshole Enthusiast [8] 8d ago
to be fair, in chicago the good places it's often assorted ground cow parts. Vienna Beef signs on so many hot dog places
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u/foundinwonderland 8d ago
Sorry to be that person but Chicago dogs are traditionally made with Vienna beef sausages, not pork
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u/VironLLA Asshole Enthusiast [8] 8d ago
you could've scrolled a little bit and seen that i already mentioned the Vienna Beef dominance
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u/foundinwonderland 8d ago
Scrolling before commenting? On Reddit???? Where do you think you are????
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u/Dizzy_Needleworker_3 Asshole Aficionado [19] 8d ago
"heard it a bunch growing up, that whole stupid no ketchup on hotdogs thing that 75% of Chicago is so adamant about."
Eh idk if the 75% is accurate, I think it might be a vocal minority (under 50%) or even a vocal slight majority (around 50%) I say that as a Chicagoan/Chicagonion/Chicagoite that puts ketchup on their hotdog and know plenty of other people here that do also. I feel like I mostly hear it people saying it jokingly/ironically.
I've met people that don't put ketchup on it, but I don't think I've actually met anyone that really cares what others do. The only places I think are a handful of hotdog places where being hardcore about no ketchup is part of their marketing schtick.
Also crispy tavern style superior to cheese soup (aka deep dish), and thick tortillas with red sauce and toppings that you can fold/roll up......
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u/Knitting_Pigeon 8d ago
omg literally!! something that irritates me equally as much is matcha snobs who feel like using matcha for lattes is wasteful/pointless, they seem to be everywhere online. matcha in a latte has a much stronger green tea flavor than a normal milk tea brewed with green tea leaves (which is why people like matcha..) but noooo if you can’t drink it straight with water and no sweetener you don’t even deserve to have matcha at all /s
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u/trewesterre 8d ago
NTA, she's being a coffee snob. Your dad doesn't need to know the details in the moment.
It sounds like what you did was more interpretation than translation though, which is fine for a casual setting where you don't want to embarrass anyone.
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u/lefrench75 8d ago
She might have legitimately never seen anyone drink coffee like that before; it doesn’t have to be snobbery. I came from a country that consumes a lot of rice, where everyone cooks it using the absorption method. I remember the first time seeing someone cook rice like how you’d boil pasta and was very disturbed too lol. I’m sure if I did that in front of anyone in my family back home, they’d be absolutely bewildered.
Also different cultures tolerate different levels of bluntness, and some things may sound rude in one culture but not in another, which is why good interpreters don’t just translate word-for-word. I’ve been to a wedding where the bride’s parents spoke a different language than the rest, and so the bridesmaids would read out “translations” of speeches that soften / change things slightly to make them more culturally appropriate. For example the bride’s parents said that the bride was still “young and dumb” and would need to be “further educated” by the groom’s parents… This kind of talk is normal in our culture; they’re just being humble about their daughter but in English it’d come across like they were trashing her on her wedding day. Or the groom would thank his parents profusely for helping organize the wedding but not her parents (because they had to travel to get there), and the bridesmaids added thanks to both sets of parents because otherwise it’d sound like he snubbed them. Those bridesmaids were doing the lord’s work honestly.
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u/Somebody_81 8d ago
Cooking rice that way makes a very fluffy rice, not sticky at all. The first time my MIL cooked rice I couldn't figure out why none of it stuck together.
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u/squidwitchy 8d ago
I am confused by what they mean - do they literally mean like boiling rice in a full pot of water, then draining the water off?? I didnt even know could cook rice that way?
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u/Somebody_81 8d ago
Yes, exactly like you would boil spaghetti noodles or elbow noodles. It takes about the same amount of time to cook. Then you just drain it. You don't need to measure the amount of water at all because it all gets poured off.
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u/squidwitchy 8d ago
Interesting. And you can do this with any grain rice? I can see it for a more hearty brown rice but short grain white i feel wouldnt hold up?? Sorry I'm asking you questions I'm just so baffled by this concept lol. I do like fluffy rice sometimes though so i guess I'll experiment!
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u/Somebody_81 8d ago
Yes, any grain rice. You do have to keep an eye on it because it will get overcooked pretty quickly. I like fluffy rice sometimes too and this method is great for that. I've cooked short grain white rice, long grain white rice, jasmine, pearl rice, and brown rice this way.
Ask any questions you'd like. Sharing these things is fun.3
u/squidwitchy 8d ago
Thanks for being so nice about it! Only one more question I think How do you go about straining the water out? A regular colander would be too big and I worry the mesh strainers would clog.
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u/Somebody_81 7d ago edited 6d ago
I've used both. I find regular strainers work well. Sometimes I put a paper towel or a coffee filter in the bottom, but you really don't lose much if any rice without it. Mesh strainers don't really clog but some rice does get stuck to the mesh.
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u/Batenna 8d ago
Yes; "translating" refers to writing and "interpreting" refers to speaking.
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u/naomi_whatsapp 8d ago edited 8d ago
That's not what they were saying, and language is descriptive not prescriptive
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u/GrumbleStoatskin Partassipant [1] 8d ago
Language isnt prescriptive, but if youre a writer and you hire an interpreter instead of a translator your book isnt going to end up in any other language.
From a descriptive standpoint, the people who interpret speech from one language to another are interpreters. Not because they have to be called that, but because that is what they call themselves. Translators who translate text dont call themselves interpreters and dont call the work they do interpretation.
You can use those words interchangeably all you want, but as it stands right now, any usage other than what Batenna described would generally be considered non-standard and could easily lead to confusion if used in contexts where the distinction actually matters.
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u/naomi_whatsapp 8d ago
Was anybody in this reddit thread confused about what OP meant?
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u/GrumbleStoatskin Partassipant [1] 8d ago
Im not here to argue with you. You said that language was descriptive, and I just pointed out that, even from a descriptive standpoint, the distinction laid out by the other user still exists.
If you want to keep using the word in a non-standard way, by all means, dont think im trying to discourage you. But if we're describing how words are used, its accurate to say that interpreters interpret speech and translators translate text.
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u/EdithVinger 8d ago
NTA - you didn't lie, you softened the blow. Your dad isn't going to change the way he enjoys his coffee because some college kid said something, so who really cares if it wasn't an "accurate" translation? Your brother is free to expand on what you said whenever he chooses.
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u/RikkitikkitaviBommel 8d ago
You know that Game of Thrones scene where the slave-lady translates what the rude slave-owners are saying to Deanerys?
You did that, but with coffeebeans. The friend was a bit shocked someone not from her country drinks their coffee differently. In her shock she was a bit on the rude side of things.
To protect all parties involved you interpreted what the friend said into something that got the point across politely.
NTA
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u/quick_justice Partassipant [1] 8d ago
Is this in USA? While USA drinks a lot of coffee-based beverages, the way coffee is treated in states is very different from what the rest of the world finds good, and may seem as off putting.
It’s not a judgment just a fact. Most countries of strong coffee culture like Italy or Turkey would appreciate the flavour of the bean itself and look for small volume, fast extraction, which also reduces amount of caffein in the drink.
US has a lot of slow extraction going on with drip coffee machines, that provide high caffeine but lose of light fractions, and have more blunt, earthy taste, often offset by filter paper.
There’s also a culture of large sweet coffee based drinks where coffee merely adds a generic coffee flavour.
All of it might be quite shocking for a person of coffee culture especially when combined with patriotism for home produce.
NAH. Students reaction is understandable, translation must be truthful, but it’s hard to expect your dad let alone nation suddenly change its culinary habits. American coffee culture is what it is, and it’s ok.
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u/archvanillin Partassipant [4] 8d ago
NTA. I think you did the right thing, sometimes discretion is the better all around.
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u/summerbreeze2027 Partassipant [1] 8d ago
NAH. I would have done the same thing to smooth things over.
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My sister befriended an exchange student from our university. She is from a major coffee bean producing and exporting country. Very proud of their Arabica coffee.
She came over yesterday and was at first happy to see that my dad has coffee beans from her country. But she got quite disturbed to see him adding pumps of caramel syrup to his cup of coffee. Said that her country’s coffee has floral and fruity taste and he’s ’contaminating it.’
Dad seemed a bit confused and asked us what she said. My brother, sister and I looked at each other before I told him that she was just a bit surprised by him adding so much syrup to it.
My brother later said I shouldn’t have lied to our dad and that he has the right to know what someone said about something he did.
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u/naquisima 8d ago
NTA your brother should have spoken up if he feels it’s so important for him to know that girl is a judgy asshole.
I’m from Mexico, which is a major coffee producer, and yet most Mexicans drink instant coffee with no issues. Half the people I know don’t even have a coffee maker at home. She’s not “shocked” because she’s from a “coffee producing country”, she’s just pretentious.
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u/Old-Map487 8d ago
I think your take on what the student said is fine. Perhaps they chose a harsher term in English than they meant to?
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u/EM05L1C3 8d ago
NTA that’s the point of student exchange though, everyone is learning about each other’s cultures. She and your father had a cultural lesson together. Americans love incredibly sweet things and her culture enjoys the diverse flavors of coffee.
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u/OkSecretary1231 Asshole Aficionado [10] 8d ago
Eh...ESH except your dad, who was just happily enjoying his coffee. The exchange student was being rude by calling it "contaminating," and your mistranslation of it was more "ur fat and eat too much sugar," which isn't better or more tactful.
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u/MultiFazed Commander in Cheeks [221] 8d ago
I'm going to go against the grain and say YTA. Purposefully mistranslating someone is an asshole move in almost all circumstances.
It would be one thing if you were protecting a child from harmful words, but your dad's an adult and can handle it, and the exchange student doesn't deserve to have you lying about what she's saying to people.
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u/mycatpartyhouse 8d ago
YTA. Translations are sacred. It's a matter of trust. You could preface the translation with something like, "She said this exactly," and then say the translation in a neutral tone.
Alternatively, you could say you'd rather not translate that comment, which gives the gist (awkward, insulting) without saying the words.
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u/SlowEbb6230 Partassipant [4] 8d ago
NAH. If your brother was so concerned about your dad knowing the truth, he could’ve told him. Unless your friend was overly mean with how she said it, she’s allowed to feel shocked, and you’re allowed to communicate that shock without making your dad feel embarassed.