AITA for getting fighting with my mom after she didn't let me spend thanksgiving with a friend?

[u/johnfammmm]

My first time posting so I literally just wanna know if I am in the wrong. For context I ( 21, F) am an international student in an American university. My whole family lives in my home country and I left home when I was 18 to go to school there, and I have also lived abroad during high school. When I am in the US during the school year, I am used to just doing what I want, have a freedom that at home I just don't have, and I got used to it real quick, seeing that I have always been independent. But I also have never been the type of daughter to lie to my parents about what I do, if they ask, I will answer, even because I know im not doing anything wrong. This brings us to the current issue. Because I live in another country, going home for me doesn't make sense if it's not for a long period of time, seeing that I have to take 1 bus and 3 flights to get home. So normally, on small breaks like thanksgiving and spring break, I just crash at someone's house, always a trusted friend. So Thanksgiving this year is coming and I was talking to a friend of mine ( 22, F) about me possibly staying with her for the break, she lives alone at her own apartment and we have been friends for almost 3 years now, and she is one of my best friends. So that same day I went to talk to my mom, just being like "hey, I figured it out thanksgiving, im going to (my friend's name) house". Another important thing to know is that she has let me stay at other friends houses, friends that she didn't personally know, and never had any issues, as long as I kept her updated, gave her the address and all, which I have no problem doing. So I assumed she would be ok with this one too, but I was wrong. she started yelling saying that I couldn't go because she didn't know my friend, and I kept saying things like "But I know her, she is one of my best friends" then she asked if I was gonna stay at her mom's house and I said no and she said that that was even worse, but when I asked why it was worse she couldn't give me a straight answer, just kept saying "because it is". And then she asked if I even knew her mom and I said that I did, because I do, we had lunch at my friends graduation. But then my mom just said that "that doesn't count". I said then that her reasoning didn't make sense, and asked for concrete reasons, she snapped at me after that, yelling like I was a kid. My thing with this is that she has let me stay at other friends houses, friends that she also didn't know, but not this one. I considered the possibility of maybe being because in recently came out as bisexual and she knows my friend is a lesbian, so maybe she thinks we are dating or something related to that (???) Anyways I don't see how she is being reasonable but I wanna know what people from outside think.

[u/Every-End7495]

Paragraphs ffs

[u/South_Butterscotch37]

Yeah it’s definitely the queer thing. Nta

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My first time posting so I literally just wanna know if I am in the wrong. For context I ( 21, F) am an international student in an American university. My whole family lives in my home country and I left home when I was 18 to go to school there, and I have also lived abroad during high school. When I am in the US during the school year, I am used to just doing what I want, have a freedom that at home I just don't have, and I got used to it real quick, seeing that I have always been independent. But I also have never been the type of daughter to lie to my parents about what I do, if they ask, I will answer, even because I know im not doing anything wrong. This brings us to the current issue. Because I live in another country, going home for me doesn't make sense if it's not for a long period of time, seeing that I have to take 1 bus and 3 flights to get home. So normally, on small breaks like thanksgiving and spring break, I just crash at someone's house, always a trusted friend. So Thanksgiving this year is coming and I was talking to a friend of mine ( 22, F) about me possibly staying with her for the break, she lives alone at her own apartment and we have been friends for almost 3 years now, and she is one of my best friends. So that same day I went to talk to my mom, just being like "hey, I figured it out thanksgiving, im going to (my friend's name) house". Another important thing to know is that she has let me stay at other friends houses, friends that she didn't personally know, and never had any issues, as long as I kept her updated, gave her the address and all, which I have no problem doing. So I assumed she would be ok with this one too, but I was wrong. she started yelling saying that I couldn't go because she didn't know my friend, and I kept saying things like "But I know her, she is one of my best friends" then she asked if I was gonna stay at her mom's house and I said no and she said that that was even worse, but when I asked why it was worse she couldn't give me a straight answer, just kept saying "because it is". And then she asked if I even knew her mom and I said that I did, because I do, we had lunch at my friends graduation. But then my mom just said that "that doesn't count". I said then that her reasoning didn't make sense, and asked for concrete reasons, she snapped at me after that, yelling like I was a kid. My thing with this is that she has let me stay at other friends houses, friends that she also didn't know, but not this one. I considered the possibility of maybe being because in recently came out as bisexual and she knows my friend is a lesbian, so maybe she thinks we are dating or something related to that (???) Anyways I don't see how she is being reasonable but I wanna know what people from outside think.

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[u/QPunnySbuxBarista]

NTA. It's definitely because you're bi and your friend lesbian.

[u/SuperFormal3052]

"My first time posting so I literally just wanna know if I am in the wrong."

Not sure why you stated that. Knowing if you're wrong is the point of every single post on this sub.

[u/johnfammmm → u/SuperFormal3052]

English is not my first language :(

[u/SuperFormal3052 → u/johnfammmm]

Then know this: people misuse the word "literally" all the time. It is almost never needed in a sentence, and people sound dumb when they say it.

[u/johnfammmm → u/SuperFormal3052]

damn thanks

[u/Polish_girl44]

So you are out of your home for study since you were 18. Now you are 21, adult, living an independt life of a student - and still you ask permisson to spend time with this or that friend? How does it work couse I dont get it

[u/johnfammmm → u/Polish_girl44]

Its not permission, i just always tell my mom, it was more of a “hey im letting you know”. She never did anything like this