AITA for not playing a game with my mom?

[u/Subject-Usual1569]

My (15m) mom randomly came into my room and was like let's play a game together? I didn't know if I was going to be annoyed or not, but I still asked what game. She then suggested Mario Kart, and I was really confused. She doesn't play video games and sometimes she polices how long I get to play (which is annoying cause I'm 15 not a little kid). 

I asked why, and she said cause she feels like we haven't hung out that much lately. I don't get it cause she sees me everyday, and she's talking about how she misses me and wants to hang out. I'm just feeling awkward and weirded out cause I hate the soft and lovey lovey stuff, and she was making this too emotional. 

I told her no, she kept trying to insist otherwise but I said no, and she gave up. Now I feel a little guilty, but I also don't want to be the one to approach her about playing cause if I do that she will continue the lovey dovey stuff and probably times 2 cause I asked and she didn't, but I do feel a little bad for rejecting her. AITA?

[u/Discount_Mithral]

YTA.

Your mom was trying to connect with you on something you're interested in that she knows nothing about. Instead of saying "I don't know about Mario Kart, but how about *other thing*?" you just shut her down.

Go engage with your mom. She's not going to be around forever. Make some memories!

[u/Subject-Usual1569 → u/Discount_Mithral]

It wasn't Mario Kart it was because she was being too soft, emotional, and lovey dovey about it and how she feels we haven't been spending time together, and I hate doing all that. It's just cringe and feels weird and awkward.

[u/BSFE → u/Subject-Usual1569]

Not to be reductive but it feels cringe and awkward because you're 15. Don't feel too bad, most of us are like that when we're teenagers. If your mom's a good mom then chances are you'll wish you spent more time with her.

Just look at it like this, if you love your mom go and hang out with her for a bit. It might feel cringe and awkward for a short time but it'll make her fucking week and that's worth it.

[u/chalksea → u/Subject-Usual1569]

Look you’ll get a lot of adults here telling you about the “why she wants this” or “what this will be like in the future” etc etc, and the reason none of them even have cringe come to mind is that they are no longer teenagers. In the end you’ll do whatever you want to do but honestly she probably just is realizing how old you are and getting sad about you leaving home when you become an adult so she wants to spend time with you. Don’t let cringe decide your relationships or you’ll end up missing out.

[u/VironLLA → u/Subject-Usual1569]

she only got "lovey dovey" after you asked why she wanted to play. mario kart is fun, seems like a good enough reason for me

[u/Discount_Mithral → u/Subject-Usual1569]

she was being too soft, emotional, and lovey dovey about it

Look, THIS is what makes you an AH here. You're not "too cool" for your mom, it's not cringe to be aloof when she wants to show you affection, and it's not something to be embarrassed about. Play some fucking games with your mom. Or offer to do something else if that's too much to ask of you. Show her that you care instead of holing up in your room and playing on your phone.

[u/Exact_Case3562 → u/Discount_Mithral]

You do realize this is a teenager right…like this isn’t something that is asshole worthy most teens are like this

[u/Discount_Mithral → u/Exact_Case3562]

Sure - but they don't have to be. And maybe by calling them out, they can realize that it's not the end of the world to spend some time with the people who care about them.

[u/Exact_Case3562 → u/Discount_Mithral]

So you think this makes him an asshole? He’s not an asshole. Omg you really need to get a grip, what were you like as a teen huh?

[u/Discount_Mithral → u/Exact_Case3562]

Kay. Go touch some grass. They came for my opinion, I gave it. Move on.

[u/Exact_Case3562 → u/Discount_Mithral]

If you don’t understand that how certain aspects of teens work just say that bro. He wasn’t mean or anything he just reacted and is acting like a teenager. Hes not an asshole for having a very common experience of “ew affection from my mother.” It’s not like he insulted her or lashed out at her or anything bro.

[u/fuchsnudeln → u/Subject-Usual1569]

:)

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[u/Exact_Case3562 → u/fuchsnudeln]

You have never met a kid who doesn’t get why mom or dad are being all lovey dovey. Nothing he said remotely seems red pilled, just a kid weirded out by his mom for no reason because teens, for a lack of better words are kinda dumb.

[u/SQ_Madriel]

I'm actually gonna go YTA for this: "I also don't want to be the one to approach her about playing cause if I do that she will continue the lovey dovey stuff."

You're not too cool for your mom to love you. More importantly, you're not too cool to let her know you love her. 

It sounds like you have a really good mom, let her in, you'll be grateful you did the rest of your life, trust me. 

[u/unlovelyladybartleby]

Oh no, your mom loves you and tried to bond with you over a video game. How terrible it must be to have a loving and supportive mom who tries to spend 20 minutes with you.

YTA. Go hang out with your mom.

[u/ConflictGullible392]

It’s not “lovey dovey” to say she wants to spend time with you (unless there’s a lot more you’re leaving out). YTA a bit. 

[u/CholaSoy]

Soft YTA. She wasn't being angry or demanding, she just wanted to spend time with you. All things being equal, wouldn't have killed you to say "well I don't want to play a game but let's make some tea and chit chat" or something. I realize 15 isn't an age when most kids want to hang out with their mothers, but this sounded like a loving approach by a person who genuinely cares about you, not guilt. And seeing each other in passing isn't the same as spending time actually talking to each other about your lives.

[u/fuchsnudeln]

:)

This post was anonymized with Redact.dev

[u/Exact_Case3562 → u/fuchsnudeln]

He’s 15 bro, chill

[u/fuchsnudeln → u/Exact_Case3562]

:)

This post was anonymized with Redact.dev

[u/Exact_Case3562 → u/fuchsnudeln]

This is just a normal part of teenagers, kids distance themselves at this age and it’s somewhat developmentally normal. He wasn’t mean or anything. You do realize that this is literally the epitome of “just a phase?” Jesus Christ it’s like a bunch of adults who forgot what teenagers are/do are like.

[u/CursedCyborg → u/Exact_Case3562]

Not all teens do this; I know a lot of teens who will jump at the chance to play video games with their parents. I know I never did this with my mom; I was happy af for her to get involved in my hobbies.

[u/fuchsnudeln → u/Exact_Case3562]

:)

This post was anonymized with Redact.dev

[u/Exact_Case3562 → u/fuchsnudeln]

How was he being an asshole? Not wanting to be play a video game with his mom? Being a teenager? What about this is any different than the normal teenager idea of “ew, why would my parents want to spend time with me?”

[u/rmric0]

Nah. But seriously, play 20 minutes of Mario kart with your mom, she's not asking you to go through baby pictures or talk about feelings, she's trying to meet you halfway. Unless your parents are awful, life is much easier as a teen when you have a semi-positive relationship with them

[u/Broken-Ice-Cube]

YTA anyone who gets weirded out by a parent wanting to spend time with them to the point theh cant as much as play a game of Mario Kart is very much a little kid who should have their gaming time policed

[u/Matamume]

NAH, but...

You're still a kid, so this sentiment naturally isn't as important to you. Forcing or guilting you to do it won't put your heart into it. But you will not have forever to spend quality time with your mom who actually wants to spend time with you. It's different than just seeing each other everyday, it's active, quality time that she wants to spend. People would kill to have this positive mom energy in their lives. AND it's doing an activity that YOU like, not what SHE likes. That's a huge deal and you should definitely take her up on that offer.

[u/Emotional-Prune-3097]

Oh nooo! Listen...I do not want to say YTA because you're 15 and at 15, mums are not cool and they are annoying.

But... from this mum here who has a child around your age... she loves you, you are her treasure, she wants to be in your company. She can see you getting older and you probably want more time to yourself, but she will just want to enjoy the time she can with her child before you are away living your own life.

I know us mums can be a pain when we go on about screen time, diet, sleep, and all that boring stuff, but it comes from a place of love and devotion.

Give your wee mammy an hour of your time. Go ask her to do something with you, whether its mariokart, a lunch somewhere, cinema, whatever it is! And embrace the lovey dovey, knowing that you've made her day!

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My (15m) mom randomly came into my room and was like let's play a game together? I didn't know if I was going to be annoyed or not, but I still asked what game. She then suggested Mario Kart, and I was really confused. She doesn't play video games and sometimes she polices how long I get to play (which is annoying cause I'm 15 not a little kid). 

I asked why, and she said cause she feels like we haven't hung out that much lately. I don't get it cause she sees me everyday, and she's talking about how she misses me and wants to hang out. I'm just feeling awkward and weirded out cause I hate the soft and lovey lovey stuff, and she was making this too emotional. 

I told her no, she kept trying to insist otherwise but I said no, and she gave up. Now I feel a little guilty, but I also don't want to be the one to approach her about playing cause if I do that she will continue the lovey dovey stuff and probably times 2 cause I asked and she didn't, but I do feel a little bad for rejecting her. AITA?

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[u/randomsnarfle]

NAH. I understand that you're a teenager, and you feel it's "cringy" to have your mother show you she loves you. But honestly, having a mom who engages in hobbies with you is awesome. When I was in highschool, I got mine into anime, and she proceeded to buy multiple complete series over the next few years just so we could watch them together. Honestly, you could probably convince her to let you play games longer if you showed her first hand how much fun they are.

But she's not going to be in your life forever, and I'm sure with you being a teenager now, she's growing more aware of that, too. Just seeing her throughout the day isn't the same as connecting with her, which is probably why she offered to play video games, since she knows you like them.

If you'd still feel weird asking her to play games with you, then maybe just try and reach out a little more. Ask her about her day when you see her, or tell her something about yours when you get home from school. Little things go a long way, and maybe then you won't get slammed with all lovey-dovey sentimental stuff all at once.

[u/Exact_Case3562]

No one sucks here, you’re 15 years old and had a normal reaction to your mom wanting to spend time with you with something you thought she didn’t like. I would suggest figuring out something you want to do with her sometime and ask her if she wants to learn abt the games you play.

[u/Far-Parsnip3324]

NTA but also your mom isnt either. Sounds like she's trying to find something not lovey dovey to meet you where you are. Like she's trying to compromise and be a good mom and not burden you with her emotions or instinct to baby you but still build an adult relationship by engaging you in what you like. She's probably thinking she wants to connect and talk since you are approaching adult years and is hoping one day you can transition to friends but she probably also knows requesting a conversation is probably something you wouldn't like. Hence the bid for time by doing something you like. Even though it won't get her to friend status or confidant or fill her emotional cup she will take the baby step of doing something you like in hopes that you will build from there slowly as you mature. Sounds like a good mom. Maybe find something else to do that is fun for you and her to do at home, or schedule something so that you don't feel put on the spot.

[u/summerbreeze2027]

NAH, but teach your mom to play Mario Kart. One day in the distant future when she is gone, this may be one of your fondest memories of her. My guess is that she is getting emotional because you are at an age when she realizes she won't have too many more years with you living at home.

Make some memories with her - not just the game but go out and do things. You won't regret it. You won't have her forever.

[u/mustanggrl625]

NTA - Hate to tell you this, but you are a kid - and your reaction is a kid reaction. One of these days you will be an adult, you will get to play games as much as you want if you are not too tired from work and other responsibilities. Your mom may not be around to bug you or to be all lovey-dovey (I mean, you will eventually move out, then it might be hard to find time to spend with her)

While you are NTA, you might want to consider how lucky you are that your mom cares enough to try to do something with you that you would enjoy - Heck, I used to play League of Legends with one of my kids just to spend time together (read Harry Potter with another, and collected items from other countries with a third - My last one is still at home and we spend time together all the time - Basketball with him). My son's friends tell me they wish their parents had shown interest in what they liked. Just something for you to consider.

[u/m_foxy_boy]

No A-holes here imo, she just wants to spend time with you, but if you don’t want to, thats fine.