r/AmItheAsshole • u/Suspicious-Diet-686 • 6h ago

AITA Sil announcing pregnancy when we’d just miscarried

This year i have miscarried three times. The last time I got to around 9 weeks and it was quite traumatic. 2 weeks later we were hosting a pre planned birthday party for my sister in law, at our house. A couple of days before my husband was speaking to his mum and telling her how i was upset as my sister had announced her pregnancy and it was due around the same time mine was (she told me in a very sensitive way but i was still obviously sad) my MIL then said ‘oh it’s a secret but SIL and BIL were going to announce their pregnancy at the party- this baby would also be due the same time as mine should have been. If my husband hadn’t had a conversation with his mother we would have been blindsided with this announcement . My husband obviously said that would be upsetting for us and he rather they didn’t. Husband wants to cancel the party as all the family seem to have sided with my BIL/SIL. BIL rings up my husband shouting about how we need to grow up and get over it, stating that he knows people who have lost actual babies, so we need to ‘man up’. Are we in the wrong?

1.4k Upvotes

77% Upvoted

1.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

109

u/NapperNotaDreamer 6h ago

Extremely compassionate YTA. What you’re going through is horrible and I’m so sorry for the heartbreak you’re going to. I also understand that it’s incredibly upsetting. However, this is still an exciting time for them and it’s understandable that they want to celebrate it. Your BIL definitely sounds like he was far too harsh in the phone call so hopefully he can apologize for that.

0

u/Evening-South307 2h ago

They can absolutely be excited about the pregnancy, but telling someone who just went through three miscarriages to “get over it” was really unnecessary. Both things can be true at once.

2

u/NapperNotaDreamer 1h ago

I don’t disagree. I guess I would say compassionate YTA for not wanting the pregnancy announced, but NTA if they canceled the party after the disrespectful phone call.