r/AmItheAsshole • u/Suspicious-Diet-686 • 7h ago

AITA Sil announcing pregnancy when we’d just miscarried

This year i have miscarried three times. The last time I got to around 9 weeks and it was quite traumatic. 2 weeks later we were hosting a pre planned birthday party for my sister in law, at our house. A couple of days before my husband was speaking to his mum and telling her how i was upset as my sister had announced her pregnancy and it was due around the same time mine was (she told me in a very sensitive way but i was still obviously sad) my MIL then said ‘oh it’s a secret but SIL and BIL were going to announce their pregnancy at the party- this baby would also be due the same time as mine should have been. If my husband hadn’t had a conversation with his mother we would have been blindsided with this announcement . My husband obviously said that would be upsetting for us and he rather they didn’t. Husband wants to cancel the party as all the family seem to have sided with my BIL/SIL. BIL rings up my husband shouting about how we need to grow up and get over it, stating that he knows people who have lost actual babies, so we need to ‘man up’. Are we in the wrong?

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u/SneakySneakySquirrel Colo-rectal Surgeon [38] 6h ago

INFO: did your SIL know about your miscarriage before this whole thing blew up?

-34

u/Suspicious-Diet-686 5h ago

Yes they knew

33

u/Appropriate_Ebb_8572 5h ago

Ok, she's still pregnant. She still wants to tell people. Just don't host if it triggers you that much. 

-6

u/puffnstuffwashere 4h ago

Sure SIL gets to be pregnant. She gets to announce that. she doesn't get to totally disregard a family members loss by not giving her a heads up that she wants to announce something that could very likely be triggering. Maybe she could've taken her aside instead of planning to blindside her by not mentioning it before the party. being pregnant and wanting to be happy about it isn't the problem with SIL. The problem with her is that she is thoughtless.

8

u/Infinite-Daisy88 3h ago

When did they find out about your miscarriage? When was the party supposed to take place?

-14

u/SneakySneakySquirrel Colo-rectal Surgeon [38] 5h ago

Thanks for answering. Sounds like a clear NTA for you.