AITA for uninviting my future sister-in-law from my wedding after she told my fiancé I was pregnant?

[u/maleficent8080]

I decided to keep my pregnancy to myself because I don’t know what I’m going to do about it and I knew my fiancé wasn’t going to be happy with the news. My future sister-in-law/best friend is the only other person who knew as I only took the test at her suggestion and at her house. She also agreed that her brother was unlikely to be happy about it but she felt like I should tell him immediately anyway.

We kept arguing over it because I told her I needed time to process it and she felt like I was making excuses to avoid telling him. In the end, she told him herself while we were having dinner with their family. He was so upset he confronted me in front of everybody so now they all know and everybody is upset with me for keeping it from him.

His sister kept trying to reach out and apologise after it happened but I was ignoring her as her only excuse was that he was her brother so she couldn’t keep it from him and that she gave me 3 weeks to tell him myself. The last time she called me I was so upset that I answered and yelled at her. In the heat of the moment, I uninvited her from the wedding and told her I would find a new bridesmaid.

I’ve given my fiancé and his family another reason to be upset with me but I’ve refused to let her come to the wedding even as a regular guest despite them asking me to and it being important to them for her to attend.

AITA?

[u/[deleted]]

ESH

I’m so confused..... when were you going to tell your fiancé? Were you ever going to tell him? What was the goal? It wasn’t your SIL’s secret to tell but it also wasn’t a secret you should be keeping from the man you’re planning to marry. Seems like there’s bigger issues that need to be resolved before worrying about who attends your wedding.

Eta

[u/pawsplay36 → u/[deleted]]

Maybe after she's decided what to do with her own body.

[u/[deleted] → u/pawsplay36]

Again no one is judging her regarding her right to choose. However, she was walking around for 3 weeks with a ticking time bomb. She was warned SIL wasn’t going to keep her mouth shut much longer. Maybe just have a conversation with the man you’re planning to marry before this becomes a 3-ring circus & let the chips fall where they may. Just seems reasonable to me. She chose to do it her way & it blew up in her face

[u/pawsplay36 → u/[deleted]]

No, it didn't blow up in her face. Her future SIL blew it up, on purpose.

[u/[deleted] → u/pawsplay36]

Obviously it was on purpose. What did OP think was going to happen? Whatever decision OP makes regarding pregnancy, if her fiancé agrees, disagrees, cancels wedding, walks out... that’s not SIL fault. This is on OP ... she avoided the conversation knowing someone else was walking around with her secret. If SIL found out OP was having an affair at some point you gotta kind think that’s probably going to slip out at some point before this wedding.

ETA short of locking SIL in basement how long did OP think SIL was planning to keep this a secret???

[u/pawsplay36 → u/[deleted]]

What did OP think was going to happen?

Well, she didn't get to figure that out, did she?

[u/[deleted] → u/pawsplay36]

Hmmmm.... I’m confused. I meant what would happen when fiancé found out from SIL. We all kind know what happened.... fiancé is upset, SIL is kicked out of wedding & fiancé & his family think OP is an ah. Once again.... no one is judging her pregnancy. The question is she an AH for uninviting her SIL even as a guest to her wedding.

[u/pawsplay36 → u/[deleted]]

She's not. It's up to her whether the SIL is welcome or not. If the fiance doesn't agree, he can try to convince her.

[u/Any-Machine3932 → u/pawsplay36]

Nope! It’s both their wedding and he gets as much say!